@actuallyautistic
At work, we had a designated quiet space. Today I learned they reverted it back to a conference room though we have many, mostly unused. It was an emergency decompression space. When I spoke up about this loss, I was told, “If someone has a problem with bells & whistles they probably don’t belong in a hospital.” They didn’t realize it was me. “Of course you belong here—you’ve been here forever—we all have to suck it up. We’re all burned out.” #autistic#burnout#audhd
The phrase "burnt out former gifted kid" has always given me the ick, but there are unique challenges/issues/traumas related to that experience that tend to come up in #autistic discussions and I've never encountered a good description.
Proposal for a slightly less icky alternative:
✨ burnt out former high achiever ✨
@orangegoldgreen@actuallyautistic@autistics
For me intrapersonally….It’s mostly the gifted part, that gives me the ick, we are all gifted right?
The burnout is just the result. No blame or judgement just acceptance.
Generally I am on the small details side. But I saw a post about systems thinking today. When it comes to technical problems like software, data flow or a scientific hypothesis, I have the feeling I have everything simultaneously in my mind. All the small details, but all at once.
I've been thinking about gamifying the process of making new friends in my city. Kind of like a #LARP but your character is just yourself, and you earn points for showing up to small group events. Extra points for helping organize gatherings and coming up with creative ideas for people to get to know each other better.
...I've been thinking about this for over a year, maybe someday I'll have enough energy to actually start it.
I was in a weird null space this past weekend. I knew I had things I wanted to get to but just had literally no drive to do much. I did manage a few things but these were in the evening.
Sometimes I think my pattern is that I’m more productive when there are literally no people around that I know of. It’s not that they’re talking to me, but the very prospect of having to expend energy interacting with or avoiding them switches my drive off.
@brainpilgrim YES! Often even the anticipation of an interruption causes me not to even want to begin deep thought or focus on something, because I know I won’t get to finish. So I don’t start. I know I do this and it’s still aggravating! 🤣😥
@actuallyautistic@brainpilgrim@btaroli this is totally resonant to my experience. I always end up in “waiting mode” until these known interruptions pass, then deal with any associated emotional trauma, before I can take stock and determine if I have the wherewithal to undertake the next course of action…
Straight up: I’m a slut, submissive, service slave. I like being reminded of my place as a faggot. Indeed I revel in it. I am Autistic and have ADHD. All that said, there is this nuance between degradation and still being respected.
So I’m having this increasingly excited conversation. With a man I’d really like to be abused by in the very best ways. And then I get “oh so you’re autistic and retarded?”
Full. Stop. Buzkill. 🛑😡
I instantly blocked him. Right or wrong it took me to a very bad place. I might tolerate it once there was an understanding and trust but not right at the start. Sigh.
My writing is a blend of typing and dictating—typing at my 8-year-old Mac when I need to be lost in music, zoomy thumbs while drowning in crowded spaces, and dictating to my phone when I am too restless to hold still. Chronic pain and competing #AuDHD needs heavily influence how I choose to write. #actuallyautistic#adhd
@wizzwizz4 I've tried many times to make this all fit in one toot. I write linearly—this makes compilation easy since I don't jump around the way I do when I casually speak or think. Writing differences get smoothed out in revisions and become less frequent with practice. At times, I may type/dictate in the same session. @writers#writer#author#indieauthor
As a kid, I used to tell people, “I can’t do things too many times in a row.” I decided 2 days in a row was the most I could do any one pleasant or enjoyable extra thing—play a game? Get my favorite particular DQ treat? Somewhere past that threshold was routine & meltdowns if I could not have the same everyday or if I had too much fun. My current personal work is identifying maladaptive coping strategies for meltdown management or prevention. #actuallyautistic@actuallyautistic#AuDHD
@actuallyautistic@audhd
Writing does open up my ability to communicate in a unilateral direction. Unilateral isn't quite right; my writing is like a cell with a semipermeable membrane. All are welcome to try to enter to create conversation, but by design, only certain things get through and can be used to create. #AuDHD#actuallyautistic#autism#autistic
the job i had wanted since i was a kid was the wrong job for me.
i have no career now and i'm also unemployable.
you know, i never developed a social life and i never started a family. it wasn't important to me at 20 or 30 but now, at 40, it feels like something's missing.
i'm an adult now and i'm no longer very interested in the hobbies i had at 20. there's nothing to do now.
i have a drinking problem.
why could i never do housework properly? oh, right, the #AuDHD...
i have nothing to lose, so i guess i'll try to ask the government to help me.
practical home assistance granted. admitted to back-to-work programme. applied for a social support contact today, to give myself more to do.
i'm nothing at the moment. i was broken down and now i have to build a new me, from scratch.
@chrislw there's a certain bliss in ignorance. learning that some of your problems are a condition can be a bit of a downer. on the other hand, it helps you develop more self-awareness. certain challenges become easier to predict ahead of time so you can take them into account. the formal diagnosis could entitle you to certain types of assistance and benefits, depending on where you live. it's a lot to take in.
@BZBrainz@actuallyautistic@audhd Total agreement re: jello (I make pretty good mashed potatoes). I horrified the Elder Relatives when I asked 'could I please not have any' of a certain traditional-and-served-every year jello concoction one year; it was served the next year but it turns out nobody else really liked it either and it was never served again.
@servelan@actuallyautistic@audhd I wonder how many dishes like that are at communal tables… served just because they always have been. I call the jello desserts “fancy salad” because a friend, in jest, told me that was what it was called in the Midwest—even though I now know she was teasing me, the language stuck.
How do my #actuallyautistic and #AUDHD folks figure out how to task switch to something even approximating relaxation from work or is this just not possible? Any strategies anyone uses?
@dr_rug_pull I agree that I tend to use music to detox after meetings, at least when working from home. Sometimes I use minor tasks that I find interesting to detox as well. Or podcasts. #ActuallyAutistic#AuDHD@actuallyautistic
Planners, lists, and tools for #AuDHD humans may actually make our anxiety worse when we don't follow thru.
They can also be life changing.
Everyone is different.
In either case, one FIRST needs to give themselves grace and accept and appreciate the fact that we don't need to and cannot do everything, all the time.
@theautisticcoach@actuallyautistic My reminders app keeps me right. If it’s not in there, it doesn’t exist and won’t get done. 😅 More than three things a day is not allowed! 😂
@theautisticcoach@actuallyautistic They work well for me but I’ve had to accept that each one’s usefulness is temporary. Eventually my brain won’t respond to it anymore. So I cycle through different planners, apps, etc. and get done what I can haha.
My pharmacy is having problems acquiring Dexamphetamine and are offering me (the more expensive) Attentin instead.
Anyone had experience with the latter? #ADHD#Audhd#ADD @actuallyadhd
@TristanB@Richard_Littler@actuallyadhd Yeah, when I tried it I lost interest in everything except sitting on the couch. Apparently when it works it really works -- but when it doesn't, well, yeah, it really doesn't
Doctor appt today, and he happily wrote up all the pain relief I needed prescribed for my shoulder.
I thought it might be difficult to get him to prescribe endone, panadeine forte, mobic, panadol osteo, and palexia.. but we went over how I was taking them all and he agreed that I was fine with how I was approaching it - and that taking such a variety of things meant actually taking less opioid based meds because I was able to keep on top of the pain with things like panadol osteo.
We also did my mental health plan and I hit a 40 on the K10.. which is Very Fucking High. We talked about that, and about how therapy is helping and that a big part of the 40 score is probably actually pain related as well.
He agreed that I showed great insight into my illness and that I was comfortable with being vulnerable enough to ask for help, so I get to skip hospitalisation (fucking yay!) because I have a good support system and I know how to access acute assistance if needed.
But still, 40 was even higher than I was expecting tbh. I'm usually around a 25-27.