@actuallyautistic
At work, we had a designated quiet space. Today I learned they reverted it back to a conference room though we have many, mostly unused. It was an emergency decompression space. When I spoke up about this loss, I was told, “If someone has a problem with bells & whistles they probably don’t belong in a hospital.” They didn’t realize it was me. “Of course you belong here—you’ve been here forever—we all have to suck it up. We’re all burned out.” #autistic#burnout#audhd
The phrase "burnt out former gifted kid" has always given me the ick, but there are unique challenges/issues/traumas related to that experience that tend to come up in #autistic discussions and I've never encountered a good description.
Proposal for a slightly less icky alternative:
✨ burnt out former high achiever ✨
In the recent months I had a really strong hyperfixation on #autism and posting a lot to the @actuallyautistic and consuming every toot. The recent days I got catched up by an older hf, because I stumbled over the adventofcode and now I am diving in learning rust. Although that is quite occupying my mind, I guess it is a good sign that I am quite settled with the autism topic.
Another sign for it is how I dealt with my recent experience of joining a online meeting of a local autism group.
@actuallyautistic
It was only two other persons that day. And in some aspects they appeared more autistic to me than myself. OTOH I was surprised to find out that they didn't know so many things about autism I learned recently. I guess some time ago that would have given me a lot of thinking. Now I know that having a hyperfixation on autism is not universal and that every autist is different. Being #AuDHD is again a bit different.
#SafeFood#samefoods
I just learned in a ND FB group that runny egg sandwiches are a common consumable.
I am fascinated AND my toes are curling to hide from extra sensory information.
I love a hot over easy egg to dip my butter diagonally cut toast into… and isn’t this basically a disassembled sandwich? 😶 My toes, which aren’t even involved, disagree. @actuallyautistic@Adhdinos#actuallyautistic#adhd#audhd
I've tried other stims, but I just can't stop. There are more fingers like this.
Used to "only" bite off the skin around the nails, but when I approached burnout, I started scratching and biting the lower parts of my fingers as well.
@Sci_Fi_FanGirl@actuallyautistic I'm a life-long cuticle picker. I keep debating on whether i should classify it as a stim or a nervous habit outside my #AuDHD (although I'm not sure such a thing as 'outside' it exists as it's likely inseparable from my essence). It ebbs and flows, but it's fairly constant overall.
I don't bother the skin near the base of my digits, but sometimes I might bite my skin enough to leave Mark from teeth, but not enough to break skin.
Prior to Dx, my hypothesis was that it was my body's attempt at fixing bad circulation, by bringing inflammation and blood to my fingertips. I'd love to see a study evaluating correlations between poor circulation and destructive finger/toe habits.
I tend to have rough and dry heels, and I find myself irrationally scraping away at them, instead of using any treatments that work and I do already have on hand. Something about the uneven roughness makes me think I can fix it. 😵💫🤷
I've been thinking about gamifying the process of making new friends in my city. Kind of like a #LARP but your character is just yourself, and you earn points for showing up to small group events. Extra points for helping organize gatherings and coming up with creative ideas for people to get to know each other better.
...I've been thinking about this for over a year, maybe someday I'll have enough energy to actually start it.
Generally I am on the small details side. But I saw a post about systems thinking today. When it comes to technical problems like software, data flow or a scientific hypothesis, I have the feeling I have everything simultaneously in my mind. All the small details, but all at once.
Still trying to figure out who in my family is neurodivergent and how.
Seems like there is a pattern emerging: If both parents are neurodivergent, chances for the kids to be is at almost 100%. If only one parent is, chances seem to be about 50/50.
Anyone know if there are actual studies on that or is there just not enough data from past generations?
@looneybyron@pathfinder This gets me to wondering though… if indeed #neurodivergence is inherited and not recessive, then won’t it quickly become the new normative expectation? Seems like #evolution to me… 😁
I was in a weird null space this past weekend. I knew I had things I wanted to get to but just had literally no drive to do much. I did manage a few things but these were in the evening.
Sometimes I think my pattern is that I’m more productive when there are literally no people around that I know of. It’s not that they’re talking to me, but the very prospect of having to expend energy interacting with or avoiding them switches my drive off.
@btaroli@actuallyautistic I struggled similarly this weekend, but more due to my own burnout than others being nearby (if I had chosen to work, it would be mostly alone).
Since my very recent diagnosis of #AuDHD , I've been trying to notice more often how much effort I put into contorting my face into a "happy allistic person" face all the time. It's insane, and a trap-- if I try to relax it, people think I'm suddenly in a bad mood and not a team player. 🥴
@brainpilgrim YES! Often even the anticipation of an interruption causes me not to even want to begin deep thought or focus on something, because I know I won’t get to finish. So I don’t start. I know I do this and it’s still aggravating! 🤣😥
@actuallyautistic Thought I'd share this cool Advent calendar my partner got me for our traditional calendar exchange. So far, the two fidgets I've gotten out of it have been awesome. I'll include pics of days 1 and 2. #AuDHD#ADHD#ActuallyAutistic#fidget#sensoryjoy
Straight up: I’m a slut, submissive, service slave. I like being reminded of my place as a faggot. Indeed I revel in it. I am Autistic and have ADHD. All that said, there is this nuance between degradation and still being respected.
So I’m having this increasingly excited conversation. With a man I’d really like to be abused by in the very best ways. And then I get “oh so you’re autistic and retarded?”
Full. Stop. Buzkill. 🛑😡
I instantly blocked him. Right or wrong it took me to a very bad place. I might tolerate it once there was an understanding and trust but not right at the start. Sigh.
I'm going to throw this out there and it may sound a bit controversial, but keep in mind I have nearly 20 years's experience as an entrepreneur. Is there ANYONE who works with #neurodivergent business owners or #ActuallyAutistic business owners who don't just regurgitate the same allistic/neurotypical "marketing advice" that's sold all over the groups and "free offers"? Because I'm not seeing anyone doing anything different from the NTs. @actuallyautistic@actuallyautistics
My writing is a blend of typing and dictating—typing at my 8-year-old Mac when I need to be lost in music, zoomy thumbs while drowning in crowded spaces, and dictating to my phone when I am too restless to hold still. Chronic pain and competing #AuDHD needs heavily influence how I choose to write. #actuallyautistic#adhd
It's so frustrating that I can just about function "normally" for a year max and then everything goes to shit, regardless of what I do, what's been happening, etc.
@willaful@alexisbushnell@actuallyautistic making a practice of building in buffer & recovery times has been challenging, but some of the better work that I’ve done to reduce the frequency shutdown and meltdowns. Sometimes I knowingly forgo this practice—and pay the cost, but I do so with informed consent. It is so wonderful to hear that you were teaching this to your kid. #autistic#autism#actuallyautistic#audhd
As a kid, I used to tell people, “I can’t do things too many times in a row.” I decided 2 days in a row was the most I could do any one pleasant or enjoyable extra thing—play a game? Get my favorite particular DQ treat? Somewhere past that threshold was routine & meltdowns if I could not have the same everyday or if I had too much fun. My current personal work is identifying maladaptive coping strategies for meltdown management or prevention. #actuallyautistic@actuallyautistic#AuDHD
@actuallyautistic@audhd
Writing does open up my ability to communicate in a unilateral direction. Unilateral isn't quite right; my writing is like a cell with a semipermeable membrane. All are welcome to try to enter to create conversation, but by design, only certain things get through and can be used to create. #AuDHD#actuallyautistic#autism#autistic
@actuallyautistic
So my kid and I are most likely AuDHDers. The problems of my kid were actually one starting point for my self-dx.Today I received information of the child psychatric ambulance that after discussion with the autism ambulance they don't considder my childs case in the moment. Instead they offer we can apply for the family day clinic therapy.
That would mean we would need to take six weeks off of work. That would give the chance to observe and help with current problems.
@Fizzfizzpopop@actuallyautistic
I think it's their approach of systemic therapy. But I am afraid my kid getting meltdowns because all the clothing layers in winter don't allign is not bad parenting, it's an autistic behavior. And I find it a bit much to spend 6 weeks to show them how a gifted little #AuDHD|er behaves.
I heard more rumors that they are the sort of guys saying "you can't be autist, because you have too many friends." So my exectations for them are dropping lower and lower.