@aby@aus.social
@aby@aus.social avatar

aby

@[email protected]

Slightly less new here, & I still have no idea what's going on..

queer | anarchist | Indigenous - Kamilaroi, living on Wiradjuri Country | geek | crit. crim. student - police and prison abolitionist | disabled | subversive crafter | tea addict | RA | cheerful halfling assassin | plays all the games! | trans agender - they/them

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

aby, to random
@aby@aus.social avatar

I'm having quite a shit day, so I bought a doughnut when I was out earlier.

I came home, sat down on the sofa, and took a bite of the doughnut.. just as the phone rang.

I answered, still with a mouthful of doughnut - it was my endocrinologist.

Does she have my house bugged? Is she tracking my doughnut expenses? 👀

aby, to random
@aby@aus.social avatar

My submissive is amazing.

We haven't seen each other in person for a few months now, because of clashing schedules, sick kids, my shoulder injury, his wife working, etc.. and we finally had plans to get together at 1pm today, but my shoulder is really bad today and being in this much pain is just making me feel teary.

He asked how I slept, and I said badly because my shoulder was sore all night.. and he immediately offered to bump our meeting again. No pouting, no complaints, no bratting.

He's fantastic. I'm really lucky.

aby, to random
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Oh hey, I've been here over a year now.

#MastodonBirthday

oolivero45, to actuallyautistic
@oolivero45@page.lgbt avatar

@actuallyautistic Does anyone have any good book recommendations about autism in adults? I've got a coworker who wants to understand how they can work with me better, but I don't know any books to refer them to myself.

aby,
@aby@aus.social avatar

@oolivero45 - Unmasking Autism is wonderful. It's very conversationally written, so it's an easy light read. It looks at the experiences of a variety of autistic people (real people, not fictions) and discusses some of the challenges they faced bit also some of their joys.

@actuallyautistic

aby, to random
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I drove to Sydney today to pick my housemate up from the airport. She's just spent 7 weeks in the US with her family.

Mia is very happy to have her mother back!

aby, to random
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sometimes i really hate other people

like i can taste bitterness in my mouth because of how much i hate people at times

aby, to random
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Socks isn't eating properly and is losing weight again.. He's down to 817g. He looks like it's taking him a lot of effort to chew and that it's not working properly (I don't know how else to explain it), he seems interested in food but then gets tired of chewing. Other than that, he doesn't seems sick.

I called the vet and they can't help because they don't get to see guinea pigs often (when I took him last month they had a locum from Sydney who saw him). They suggested another vet in town who "does all the guinea pigs".

I called them and they don't have an open appointment open for over a fortnight, but they suggested I bring him in to wait "like an emergency department".. they said they can't tell me when I'll get seen, and I'll probably be waiting for hours, but I will get seen at some point.

So, tomorrow I'm popping him in the carrier and taking a book and some snacks (for us both), and we'll be in the vet waiting room from 8am.

..and then in Saturday I'm planning on not being able to do anything because of the pain of sitting in a waiting room chair for hours.

#GuineaPig #GuineaPigs #GuineaPigsOfMastodon #CaviesOfMastodon #VetVisit #Anxiety

aby,
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@morachbeag - thanks! He's having such a hard time of it lately.. and he's 4.5 years old now, which is definitely his retirement age, so he should be enjoying himself, not being a stressed little guy.

aby, to random
@aby@aus.social avatar

Doctor appt today, and he happily wrote up all the pain relief I needed prescribed for my shoulder.

I thought it might be difficult to get him to prescribe endone, panadeine forte, mobic, panadol osteo, and palexia.. but we went over how I was taking them all and he agreed that I was fine with how I was approaching it - and that taking such a variety of things meant actually taking less opioid based meds because I was able to keep on top of the pain with things like panadol osteo.

We also did my mental health plan and I hit a 40 on the K10.. which is Very Fucking High. We talked about that, and about how therapy is helping and that a big part of the 40 score is probably actually pain related as well.

He agreed that I showed great insight into my illness and that I was comfortable with being vulnerable enough to ask for help, so I get to skip hospitalisation (fucking yay!) because I have a good support system and I know how to access acute assistance if needed.

But still, 40 was even higher than I was expecting tbh. I'm usually around a 25-27.

aby, to random
@aby@aus.social avatar

The governor of a women’s prison where senior correctional officer Wayne Astill raped a number of inmates extended his tenure in the role even after she was made aware of “serious allegations” by inmates that she said she believed.

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2023/nov/14/wayne-astill-rape-inmates-dillwynia-governor-shari-martin-extended-tenure-inquiry?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

aby, to random
@aby@aus.social avatar

I just made the most perfect fried egg for lunch.. it looks like a cartoon egg 🍳😆

aby, to random
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I feel awful.

I woke up having a hypo this morning and I don't know if I still feel gross after that, if I'm getting sick, if it's a fibro flare, or if my body is just overreacting to the sudden change in temperature.

But I feel exhausted, I have such a headache, and my pain is like a 7/10, and I can feel my brain moving slow like molasses.

aby,
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@MorpheusB - I had an apple with peanut butter, because the sugar in the apple (shorter acting) will bring the sugar up and the peanut butter (longer acting) will keep it steady

aby, to random
@aby@aus.social avatar

I've started a new Fetlife group for disabled people. It was started after it became apparent that the other group was going to allow chasers to fetishise and objectify disabled people and that the group wasn't safe for us.

It's called Disability and Kink

Feel free to join, if you're interested!

https://fetlife.com/groups/273987

aby, to random
@aby@aus.social avatar

This fucking guy..

He's been following me around the house yelling all morning because he's now decided he won't eat anything at all unless it has sardine oil drizzled over it.

I noticed that he was tilting his head to one side and kept walking in circles to that direction. I also noticed he seemed to have a tremor to his head and was doing a strange thing with his back leg on that side as well.

I was wondering if he was perhaps having a neurological event (he's 17 years old now, and has hyperthyroidism, and I'm pretty sure he may have dementia), and was assessing whether I needed to take him to a vet today or if it could wait for his monthly vet visit on Monday.

Then I noticed that he tried to sit and scratch his ear, but got distracted by Lilith... so I grabbed his brush and gave him a good brushing on the side of his head and ear - and he's fine now.

He was itchy and kept getting too distracted to scratch his ear.

I'm now also wondering if he's been yelling at me all morning because he had an itch.. because he's settled right down now.

aby, to random
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I just cleaned the fridge and it had so much cat hair in it that I'm pretty sure Loki and Lilith are inviting friends over to snack.

aby, to random
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Ugh. I've just gotten most of the way through writing a paper about Kumanjayi Walker and realised that it should actually be about the media coverage of his murder and not the crime itself.

Let's start that again.

#Uni #Academia #Criminology #CriminalJustice #University #Fail

aby, to random
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It's probably against the server rules to post that I hope Bruce Lerhmann kills himself.

So I won't post that I hope Bruce Lerhmann kills himself.

#KillYourLocalRapist

aby, to random
@aby@aus.social avatar

No one is going to give you the education you need to overthrow them. Nobody is going to teach you your true history, teach you your true heroes, if they know that that knowledge will help set you free.

  • Assata Shakur

#racism #whiteness #WhiteSupremacy #FuckRacism #FuckWhiteness #anarchism #activism

aby, to random
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His name is Bruno, he's blind, deaf, super old and has two teeth left.

His humans live over the back fence of my house, but there's a weird vacant space between our yards.. so he's gotten through two fences to come visit.

I found his mum on Facebook, and we're repairing the fences, so hopefully he'll stay put.

aby, to random
@aby@aus.social avatar

This is my backyard.

This is not my dog.

aby, to random
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Also, I saw my ex in town (and he saw me).

He's either dating someone who lives here, or he's moved here.

aby, to random
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I drove my housemate to Sydney today, because she's flying out to the US tomorrow to spend 7 weeks with her family.

There was a broken down truck on the road back through the mountains, so I was sitting in standstill traffic for a while on my way back.. and caught a lot of the traffic heading to Bathurst for Race Week.. which made a 7.5 hour return trip closer to 9 hours.

It was a super long day, and I'm very tired!

aby, to random
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aby, to random
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I have a silent migraine at the moment, and it's so weird.

I have all my usual migraine symptoms - blurred vision, black floaties, dizziness, my eyes are streaming with tears, blocked sinuses etc.. but no pain at all.

It's so strange. I mean, I'm not complaining. If I can switch out all my migraines for this I'll be a happy muffin. But, it's weird!

Dangerous_beans, to random
@Dangerous_beans@aus.social avatar

It's always weird being reminded that the baseline level of suicidal impulse is none.
If you think of actively trying to kill yourself as a 10 and absolutely no desire to die as a 0 then i average maybe a 2. Like I'm generally going to avoid shit because dying causes problems, but i wouldn't push me on it.
(decades of chronic depression will mess you up)
Then i come across people who are at 0 and it's just weird. Like that's normal?

aby,
@aby@aus.social avatar

@Dangerous_beans - I especially get this when I go to the doctor etc and we do my mental health plan.. one of the questions is if I ever think about suicide, and I'm always "oh, just the normal amount".

The last time my doctor was like "you do know that the 'normal amount' is zero, don't you?"

I think he's lying 🤔😆

aby, to random
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aby, to random
@aby@aus.social avatar

aby, to random
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I got an HD on the paper I handed in last week. It was a critical analysis of the policy report from People with Disabilities Australia and Domestic Violence NSW.

I'm pretty chuffed with the comment I got from my lecturer 😊

aby, to random
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aby,
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@auscandoc - I'd suggest looking at Black People's Union. They have stuff on insta and Facebook.

The other thing I'd ask is to consider whether the government wants Treaty:

  • if they do, why haven't they started that process (or even talked about it)?

  • if they don't, why would they be trying to install a Voice if it would lead towards Treaty?

I think when it's looked at in that context it becomes clear that the push for Voice is a distraction away from any movement towards Treaty.

ada, to random
@ada@blahaj.zone avatar

This is what happens when you wear nothing but heart shaped pasties to Brisbane Pride!

aby,
@aby@aus.social avatar

@ada - I mean, SO fucking cute.. but also that looks SORE.

Would you like to know a tip for sunburn? (feel free to say no)

aby, to random
@aby@aus.social avatar

I posted on the local Facebook group asking advice about garden weeding, and a guy answered stating he'd do it for a hand job.

I know he was trolling for outrage, but also.. sure.

Come and weed my garden for a hand job. I'm definitely not going to knock back that offer!

aby, to random
@aby@aus.social avatar

It's amusing* that Mastodon can do so well** with regards to ableism and accessibility when it comes to alt-text on images, yet is so grossly ableist with regards to mental illnesses.

  • by "amusing", I mean "fucking awful"
    ** by "so well", I mean "the bare fucking minimum

#ableism #disability #MentalHealth #MentalIllness

aby, to random
@aby@aus.social avatar

Also, being face to face in a room full of people for 8 hours a day, 2 days next week is:

  • a HUGE fucking covid risk
  • going to have me dysfunctional for the rest of the week
  • a waste of the time I should be using to get my assessment handed in

aby, to random
@aby@aus.social avatar

Ugh. My employment service provider is making me do the RSA/RCG certificates.

I've explained to them that:

  • I'm studying at uni, and am not going to work in the service industry.
  • my mental health, and specifically ptsd, would never let me work in service, especially around drunk people.
  • my physical disabilities would never be accommodated within the service industry.

Their response? "Yeah, we'll still have you do it because it'll look great on your CV"

Bitch, if 15 years of nursing experience isn't getting me job interviews, having an RSA isn't going to be the thing that clinches it.

Also, it's super frustrating because they could be using my spot for someone who DOES want an RSA but can't afford it.

aby, to random
@aby@aus.social avatar

New South Wales police are looking to replace a program designed to provide “person-centred, trauma-informed care” to people with severe mental health challenges despite the police minister describing it as “so successful”.

Under the Police, Ambulance, Clinical, Early, Response (Pacer) program, mental health clinicians employed by NSW Health are stationed with police to ensure police powers are only used when necessary in responding to mental health crises.

While the police minister, Yasmin Catley, has lauded the program, the force has disclosed it is looking at alternatives to the scheme in its response to a landmark Law Enforcement Conduct Commission report.

The LECC’s report found almost half of the people involved in critical incidents with NSW police over the past five years were experiencing a mental health crisis. Critical incidents were defined as those resulting in serious injury or death.

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2023/sep/21/nsw-police-looking-to-replace-mental-health-response-program-lauded-by-minister-as-so-successful?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

aby, to random
@aby@aus.social avatar

This is why asking people with chronic pain issues what their pain scale number is doesn't work.

When I did my shoulder injury, there was a definite POP sound, & the pain was about a 2/10.

I ignored it for about 4 months before going to the doctor, bc while it was still sore & I couldn't' move it quite properly, I knew that my doctor would tell me it was probably a sprain or a strain & that they could take some months to heal.

My doctor said exactly that, & when I pointed out that it had already been 4 months, sent me for an XRay and ultrasound, decided it was bursitis & sent me for a cortisone injection. The pain was maybe a 4/10 on the worst days at this stage. My range of motion was impaired, & the pain being constant day after day was wearing on me, as was only sleeping a couple of hours at a time... but hey, I have a chronic pain condition. I can just suck it up.

6 months after the cortisone injection I go back to the doctor bc of the pain, it had gotten slightly better for a while, but now it was about a 6/10 & by this point had been going for nearly a year. He explained that cortisone often needs a second course, & that 6 months is about normal for it to 'wear off', so we'll do another cortisone treatment, & this time refer me to physio as well (to start a few weeks after the cortisone so that the swelling etc was settled).

The cortisone dropped the pain back to maybe a 2/10 most days, but I was still not sleeping properly and my range of motion was getting worse.. or maybe I'm just getting more tired of being in pain all the time? I don't know. At this point I started wondering if maybe this is just what 'old' is for me, & maybe I was being a sook & didn't have such a high pain tolerance after all.. especially if the pain is like a 2/10 & I'm getting this upset about it.

It never occurred to me that I was getting so upset about it bc my pain was NOT only a 2/10.

After another 3 months of physio not really doing anything, I went back to the doctor & asked for an MRI.

The MRI shows:

  • the shoulder had dislocated
  • one high-grade tendon tear with a significant retraction of the tendon
  • 3 other tendon tears
  • muscle volume loss
  • bursitis
  • mild arthritis with degenerative changes and joint effusion and thickening
  • a SLAP tear with fraying in two places
  • two lesions where the bones smacked against each other in two different spots during the dislocation
  • a muscle and a tendon sprain
  • 2 other effusions
  • another thickened and frayed ligament

All of this should be able to be dealt with via physio rehab, except the SLAP tear, which will need a surgical review & will (best case) be able to be dealt with via an arthroscopy.. but might need a more serious & invasive surgery.

That's 18 months of pain, sleep loss, & inability to function to my normal level because the experiences of someone with a chronic pain disorder can't be summed up with "between 1 and 10 how painful is it?"

# Physio

aby,
@aby@aus.social avatar

@DayneKnite - that's the point.

Someone with chronic pain doesn't necessarily clock that the pain is getting worse because we're used to having "good days and bad days".

There needs to be research put into developing better tools and a more helpful vocabulary with regards to pain, tools that specifically encompass the experiences of people who have chronic pain.

Dangerous_beans, to random
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Found a spider in the rosemary

aby,
@aby@aus.social avatar

@Dangerous_beans - Aww, such a tiny bean!

aby, to random
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I'm dropping off an iron at someone's house today, because they posted that they need an iron, and for some reason I have two of them.

They just messaged to say they're feeling a little sick and have a slight fever, so if I still want to drop it off could I just leave it at their front door, but it's also ok if I don't want to do that.

This is exactly how it should be done. They give me information about whether they are sick, and I get to make an informed decision that manages my risk.

#covid #disability #ChronicIllness

aby, to random
@aby@aus.social avatar

My submissive moves house today.

I can see his location on google maps - consentingly, he really enjoys me randomly sending screenshots from maps saying that I'm only a few meters away from him. It's a stalking game we play, and he loves it. I love the response I get when he's happy and excited with our play.

What he doesn't know is that he has just moved into a house in the street behind mine!

#kink #bdsm #Ds #Dominant #submissive #Dominatrix #keyholder #mindfuck

aby, to random
@aby@aus.social avatar

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