I can't speak for other #AuDHD folks but I cannot deal well with ambiguous ppl & fucking hate manipulative ambiguity shit. I require clear communication.
The airport ia a brain trap for me. While the routine is getting easier, I still inevitably ask questions or blurt something out that get me into a situation that causes delays—especially through TSA. Sometimes this causes unexpected laughter and other times not so much. @actuallyautistic#audhd#autistic#adhd
@BZBrainz@actuallyautistic
Oh absolutely, misunderstandings at those places, I don’t even want to think of the extent of painful. I’m not sure if security is trained on how adhd, or autism presents, people could stress people out and make it worse. Headphones and a book typically keep me fairly centered, give myself plenty of time and remember to breathe in rhythm . Thanks for sharing, I definitely saw things from a different perspective. Have a great weekend
Las Vegas is a nightmare and a pleasure for me—competing sensory needs. When it’s overwhelming, it’s unbearable with sound and smells and touching and social challenges—I’m more prone to shutdown and meltdown. And yet, I love the lights and creativity and interesting activities and walking. I love meeting my friends here for learning, socializing around a shared activity, and experiencing the environment. #autistic#adhd#audhd@actuallyautistic@audhd
Having one of those days when I wonder how different my life might have been had my #autism & #ADHD been diagnosed much (much) earlier...
It sometimes feels a bit like heaving myself breathless over a marathon finishing line long after others have completed it, only to find that I was shlepping an anvil behind me that could have so easily been offloaded, if only I'd known. @actuallyautistic#audhd
We had kind of the same discussion a while back, and my take on that is that the load is different, knowing vs not knowing, but it's still there.
Like, you can drop some weight because you notice it and it's not necessary to carry it, but some you notice and you have to keep, and some feels heavier when you notice that other people don't have to carry it.
So, all in all, I guess you gain some, you lose some, and life is still hard the same amount...
Problem for me is thinking about all the other things that were different when I was younger.
The Neurodiversity Paradigm is recent, which makes it easier for Autism Acceptance (even accepting ourselves).
If I was diagnosed back in the 1970's or 1980's, I can only imagine the nasty things that would have been done. I doubt I would have had a fairly successful career as I wouldn't have been offered opportunities given my alleged "disabilities".
I've started a new Fetlife group for disabled people. It was started after it became apparent that the other group was going to allow chasers to fetishise and objectify disabled people and that the group wasn't safe for us.
#AuDHD
watching this, I realized that my whole life was a manic search for activities , situations of that extraordinary quality that satisfy both my need for stimulation, fun, movement and novelty and my need for peace and calm. No wonder I ended up with the more therapeutic kinds of dancing and the more ecstatic kinds of meditation... @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tPjlkyHJwI
@Susan60@actuallyautistic@actuallyadhd
hard agree. I have both though. someone who doesn't ma have a different opinion. I do strongly believe they are sides of one coin, different flavors of one dish... .
@actuallyautistic@actuallyadhd
the "internalized ableism, keeping her from truly accepting her ADHD" has a sexist aspect for me.
All the ADHD things I did were unsuitable or even endangering for a girl or young woman. They were out of character regarding gender roles. Being loud, punk, open to strangers, risk taking, wreckless, hitchiking the continent, stuff like that. But also the incredible impatience and chaos looming behind the quiet and shy A-students forehead.
And at the same time being so incredibly sensitive, vulnerable naive, and angrily shouting out my truth, very contradictory.
I kind of envied the orderly nerd- types of autistics sometimes. I mean, I couldn't , but they get through. They seemed to have an easier time to find a niche in the system and at least survive...Holding on to one special interest instead of switching them reliably, just when you were starting to reach professional level...
I'm very glad to have a friend who's more like that. We support each other.
I’ve been noticing, in my random sleep times, that I’m way more productive if I crash early in the evening and wake in the early morning (2-4am). If I rode the energy and take my time starting up, I enter the daylight hours feeling much more energetic and productive. I’m not sure if I want to make this a regular thing but it might best trying to stay up late after kiddo is down for sleep.
That's what I do. Years ago I started getting up early to treadmill/crossfit before I got ready for work, and it was fantastic for me. I wake up early enough to sit and drink my coffee, and the exercise and shower before work seem to clear away the fog. I get to work wide awake and ready to go.
sometimes I read something on here a personal account or something political, that moves me. It often takes until the next day or even several days before I know why and what it is, that I would like to reply to that. most the time I don't, cus I can't find the original post anymore or because I assume, it's too late. Sometimes I then write up a long long post. About this issue and all the implications and my experience and so on.
That's just the way my brain functions. I can't help it. There seems to always be too much in it. Too many threads connecting too many things and too deep feelings. I wonder whether I should quit this alltogether and rather dump my hyperconnected brain's content into a blog. On the other hand, I love the community on here. All of this presents exactly the same in my offline life.
the @actuallyautistic community has helped me so much in trying all of this out, reflecting on it and receiving encouragement. In my initial unmasking phase I got a ton of flag from NT on my style of communication and the intensity of it. I knew I needed to learn and adjust.
I'm often way fast actually. All of these patterns and connected issues flash into my mind right away. But creating a bridge of communication takes time. Mastering the intensity and the volume of it. The impatience. The need to balance my physical.emotional mental energy finding ways to stim or otherwise relax that work. After decades of masking and suppressing some of the actual content I had to find a whole new way of expressing myself truthfully. With all of that extra ND energy and views included. It was rough at the beginning.
This space here was important to me in being able to have helpful and loving feedback and being able to take all of those baby steps. Thank you all. #AuDhd#ActuallyAutistic#adhd
Late-Identified #AuDHD A Starter Workbook—beginner's tool for adults—has been out for 6 months! Check it out, & if you already have, consider leaving a review. Thank you!
✅ Do you suspect you have #autism spectrum disorder (#ASD) & attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (#adhd )
✅ Are you still trying to identify your traits & describe your experiences to access support?
Autistic love languages can look different than NT ones. We like to share experiences, may unmask around people we are comfortable with, do penguin pebbling, share a special interest, stim, or infodump.
@LilyoftheRally@autism101@actuallyautistic
That's an excellent point. Often, when I search for information about autism, it's specifically about children; adults are an afterthought, if they're mentioned at all. Perhaps that'll improve as time goes by, once serious study of autism has been going on long enough.
I just discovered the perfet stim in a dream. To achieve it I need a chair that can both recline and tilt as well as rotate at a constant speed around an adjustable centre of gravity...
@RavenLuni@actuallyautistic did you ever see those 6 dof gaming chairs for gaming? I don't know how adjustable the centre is but might be a hacking project if you have a few grand spare 😭
@RavenLuni@actuallyautistic did you ever see those 6 axis gaming chairs for simulation and vr? I don't know how adjustable the centre is but might be a hacking project if you have a few grand spare 😭
Folks, I realised that I'm a zest expert who is struggling with my zest.
Let's turn that realisation into something useful for us all!
Integrity is really important to me as a coach. While I am not perfect and I don't have everything sorted (and I am totally fine with that), it's important for me to be open and honest about my own challenges. That's something I do want to have high standards about.
I don't want you to look at my posts and think everything is fine with my life, and that I have some weird and unattainable level of skill for crafting my life that you'll never attain. I want you to know that many of my challenges are also or have been your challenges, at some point.
And that those challenges can be surmountable rather than insurmountable!
So I am being open and honest with you about my own zest struggles this week...and share what I am doing about it in case it helps you.
Zest is a feeling of being alive, energised, enthused and motivated. Zesty people have "get up and go" and do things that bring them joy and make them feel charged up.
When we are busy and we have responsibilities or deadlines, it can be tempting to cancel or avoid activities that are fun but not essential to completing those tasks.
I realised this weekend that this is often a false economy. I have a busy work period right now and I have a lot of external deadlines to meet. As a result, I've been spending my time and brainpower on just getting those tasks done. Yes, I've made some progress but...
...I feel rubbish. My mood has dropped a little. My energy levels are down. And, actually, I notice that I'm less able to engage with the things I need to do, and I'm having to "force myself" a bit more to concentrate. (That's never a good sign, personally.)
I spoke to my own coach and realised that I know what brings me zest BUT I am not making little zest pockets in my schedule to get energy from those things.
As a result, I committed to booking in 20 minute zest pockets into my diary - yes, just 20 minutes - to allow myself to indulge in things I am deeply interested in.
The research in psychology tells us that the emotion of interest can calm the nervous system and give us juicy brain chemicals that boost mood and make us feel energised...so booking in zest pockets is a small, doable and effective way to help myself feel better. And I'll be able to do my tasks better by taking some time out. Sometimes, doing the fun thing is actually the best thing to do to move your work/life admin forward! (I think we need to stop feeling guilty about this, as it is what we need to do what we want to do!)
My first zest pocket was to reconnect with a beautiful special interest from childhood.
As a child, I used to sit in the garden late at night and use my dad's binoculars to look at the night sky and tick off all the constellations I could see in my little i-spy guide. (How they didn't realise I was autistic, I don't know but, hey, it was the 80s.)
Last night, I went out to a dark field near my home for just 20 minutes and picked out some constellations. Then I came home and info-dumped what I'd seen to my very patient girlfriend, who listened and supported me to access my zest. The photos show some of what I saw.
I experienced such joy from stargazing again. And it only took 20 minutes of my time. This morning, I feel enthused and motivated, and my mood has improved a little.
Therefore, I am asking you...
What are you deeply interested in that you've neglected?
Could you spend 20 minutes with it to boost your zest this week?
How would you feel and what would the benefits be if you did so?
And when are you going to do it? Make that commitment to care for yourself by boosting your zest - even if it's in 2 weeks' time, schedule in a brain-date with yourself. It might just help.
I'll keep sharing my own zest journey with you in case it helps.
Reach out to me at any time if you have questions about how to boost your zest!
@nina@autism101@actuallyautistic Should add, some powered planes I flew were like bricks with power to idle, flaps down, gear down. Those you always wanted a close-in, high approach. You'd never make the runway otherwise for a power failure. In those, you could be extremely high almost on the numbers and still make the numbers. Example: Aerocommander 112.
I’ve found that my meds make it easier to get back into focus but my focus overall tends to be a little more shallow. Not nearly as many “I blinked and the day disappeared” episodes, now I’ll actually stop to eat
The hyperfocus is easier to aim at what I want instead of whatever shiny the ADHD spotted first. I still have to wrestle it into submission but it takes a lot less time now.