@servelan@newsie.social
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

servelan

@[email protected]

Progressive, news junkie and tail-end Boomer doggie mama. #BDS #BLM Anti-anti-vax. #AdministrativeLaw #CivilRightsLaw #ConstitutionalLaw #NotALawyerAndDontPlayOneOnTv #ActuallyAutistic Non-denominational. She/her. #fedi22 #gardening #DIY searchable tootfinder #legal It's a chocolate chip cookie

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PurpleStephyr, to actuallyautistic
@PurpleStephyr@chaosfem.tw avatar

Just had my results session for my ASD assessment, and I've officially been diagnosed with ASD now. I guess that's exciting? The psychologist kept asking if I needed time to process it, and stuff like that, and not really? Am I supposed to? I had kind of come to terms with it over the past couple months, so it wasn't really news to me. I guess more than anything it's affirming to hear it from a professional?

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@PurpleStephyr @actuallyautistic Took me about 6 weeks at age 60 to process and integrate into my sense of self. YMMV.

janetlogan, to actuallyautistic
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

December 12th is always an emotional day for me. It's my late wife Barbara's birthday, and the wells up and spills out.

Today was absolutely just such a day. And to top it off, my roommate went off on a rant about how my depth of feeling on that topic is wrong and unhealthy. Not her words. I cleaned it up.

I had a huge meltdown as a result. Now I'm exhausted, and in pain. I'm turning in for tonight. I hope.

@actuallyautistic @spoonies

18+ servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@janetlogan @actuallyautistic @spoonies 🫂 Sorry for your loss and a less-than-compassionate housemate.

JustFrank, to random
@JustFrank@mas.to avatar
servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar
housepanther, to actuallyautistic
@housepanther@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Do other people with #autism have difficulty this time of year? For me this is one of the loneliest times of the year. I struggle with my mental health during the holiday season.

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@housepanther @actuallyautistic I think there are numerous external societal pressures to be 'merry', which with a change in the amount of light you're getting (taking your vitamin D? it helps) combine to make it harder to be nominally cheerful. Poverty doesn't help, if that's your situation; neither does being alienated from family or not having much in the way of family to celebrate with. Common problem (me, too), and I don't think people are any less prone than allistic folks.

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@housepanther @actuallyautistic I'm alienated from my siblings because both are abusive. I do have my mom, my dog and my housemate, but I've been thinking that's not enough. Finding ways to connect at this time of year is hard.

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@housepanther @actuallyautistic As I am for you, House Panther. Nothing says we can't make our own celebration, though, and build community online. 🎁🎉🎶🕎🎄🧑‍🎄☃️❄️⛄

servelan, to actuallyautistic
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

I craft. A lot. Who knew this might be a diagnostic tool? : )

Why Are Girls Diagnosed With Autism Later Than Boys? - Dame Magazine @actuallyautistic

https://www.damemagazine.com/2023/12/07/why-are-girls-diagnosed-with-autism-later-than-boys/

NeurodivergentBC, to actuallyautistic
@NeurodivergentBC@neurodifferent.me avatar

So does anyone else kinda not like ? Like, it’s a nice and easy way to begin a and it seems a lot of my friends also use it, the problem is instead of getting real people to do the voices they use text-to speech, which means you often do not get the correct . Like, often you get both a normal speed and a slow speed recordings of the pronunciation to pick from, and the two versions will often use completely different voices that not only have diffent quality, but also very different despite being the same words or sentences. It seems like the wrong way to learn a language. Also, what is up with the ? @actuallyautistic

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@NeurodivergentBC @actuallyautistic I think they're real people, but it's snippets spliced together and sounds mechanical.

The owl is just the cutesy marketing thang.

StrassenKatze, to actuallyautistic
@StrassenKatze@universeodon.com avatar

I am feeling called out by the top half of this @actuallyautistic

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@StrassenKatze @actuallyautistic Did you miss the bit about how that's misinterpreted, though? I wager the poster/meme creator was thinking of being judged by non-autistic ppl.

sahat, to actuallyautistic
@sahat@c.im avatar

I once had a relationship with an AuDHD male. He had a certain trait. It's not very common, but I have heard from people that experience this.
It was scary and it ended the realtionship. He used to get into a form of meltdown where he would be uncontrollably agitated.. Rage, despair, IDK what to call it. It looked like anger. And then he would loose the memory about what had transpired. He did not recall what he had said or how he had behaved. It must be hard to live with this, cus I am sure, it wrecks relationships, period. Now I am curious, have any of you this trait, has anyone experienced this, either in my role or in his? I would be interested to hear more about this. I recently talked to him after many years of silence. It brought this all up. He didn't know about his neurodivergence at the time. And it scared the heck out of him to be hearing me describe, what took place, when he stopped having memory.
@actuallyautistic

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@spika @sahat @actuallyautistic I have both kinds of PTSD, and agree that there are time when it's hard to differentiate. I usually don't analyze in terms of which it is (autism vs. PTSD), but that's because my PTSD flashbacks and have different triggers and manifestations and I usually know what's causing the problem.

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@nddev @spika @sahat @actuallyautistic When it's , I get angry and want to throw things (mostly the inanimate objects that pushed me to the edge by not cooperating), so I think it's possible the consequences/symptoms differ from person to person and might even be gender-influenced to some extent.

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@spika @sahat @actuallyautistic Yeah, I don't think we recognize the microtraumas that such things can generate. I find one of mine is not being able to find a tool or something I need; I fixate on trying to find it and basically work myself into a meltdown revisiting all the places I might have left it.

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@littlescraps @spika @sahat @actuallyautistic This is why I always overpack. 😊

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@aloopapu @n69n @spika @sahat @actuallyautistic I found out in my 60's and a lifetime of self-recrimination - gone. If I screw up now, I know it's usually an

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@nddev @littlescraps @spika @sahat @actuallyautistic I live for lists like that. Also, any article that starts with a number and then details the ways you can do something.

BZBrainz, to actuallyautistic
@BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

Tis the season when communal meals stop being texturally sound for me. Chief offenders being stuffing, mashed potatoes, and creative liberties taking with jello…

@actuallyautistic @audhd

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@BZBrainz @actuallyautistic @audhd Total agreement re: jello (I make pretty good mashed potatoes). I horrified the Elder Relatives when I asked 'could I please not have any' of a certain traditional-and-served-every year jello concoction one year; it was served the next year but it turns out nobody else really liked it either and it was never served again.

Susan60, to actuallyautistic
@Susan60@aus.social avatar

Currently reading Devon Price’s Unmasking Autism, which I borrowed from the library. I’d read mixed reviews, but am finding it interesting, informative & helpful. #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@Susan60 @actuallyautistic Snippets, please, if you find anything to tease us into reading it ourselves.

ergifruit, to actuallyautistic
@ergifruit@mas.to avatar

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic anyone else do this? i have trouble identifying my own emotions and pain, like where the pain is (one space or joint vs limb or whole body pain) or what enotion specifically i'm feeling besides positive/negative (and sometimes not even that). but when i smoke cannabis, i have a far easier time pinpointing this kinda stuff. none of my autistic friends smoke, so i can't really ask them 😅

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@ergifruit @actuallyautistic I think that the #autistic brain is normally more prone to anxiety than an allistic brain, and that it's an evolutionary holdover because why else would an almost always 'on' fight-or-flight response exist?

I've got PTSD and use cannabis to manage it. I find it also calms my 'overclocked' brain...making it easier to connect with things (although what I need to connect with may not be what you need to).

servelan, to actuallyautistic
@servelan@newsie.social avatar
ScriptFanix, to actuallyautistic
@ScriptFanix@maly.io avatar

When they speak about the Israel Vs Palestine conflict in the news, I just zone out. My brain just refuses to process that information. Do my fellow @actuallyautistic friends do the same?

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar
servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@ScriptFanix @actuallyautistic Nope. That's entirely individual, nothing to do with autism.

ScottSoCal, to actuallyautistic
@ScottSoCal@computerfairi.es avatar

@actuallyautistic

Looking for recommendations: what do you do when you get stuck figuring out what emotion(s) you're feeling?

My mother died a few days ago. Our relationship was toxic, and we haven't spoken for years. I know I'm feeling something, from the tense crackling inside, but I don't know what it is.

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic Your feelings are likely a stew of grief, anger, and unresolved issues; it will take time to sort them all out. There's a good book on complex PTSD that might help by Pete Walker that you could read when you're ready, if that's part of the dynamic; there's also a thing called the 'empty chair technique' that is used to help sort out feelings.

What Is The Empty Chair Technique And Why Do Therapists Use It? | BetterHelp
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/therapy/what-is-the-empty-chair-technique-and-why-do-therapists-use-it/

PossiblyAutistic, to test
servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic Background noise and I lose at least 50% of just one conversation...

autism101, to actuallyautistic

Autism and Sensory Issues:

Our microwave oven is a sensory nightmare for me. I always try to stop it before it reaches zero and begins beeping. I get extremely anxious over this.

What do you avoid?


@actuallyautistic

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@autism101 @actuallyautistic Be a dear and test this for all of us ppl? I hate the sound, too.

Microwave Silent Mode Exists—Here's How to Activate It
https://www.tasteofhome.com/article/microwave-silent-mode/

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@jake @autism101 @actuallyautistic We should get manufacturers to offer one if they don't.

SteveThompson, to random
@SteveThompson@mastodon.social avatar

"Autism Poses Advantage in Bystander Scenarios"

https://neurosciencenews.com/autism-bystander-effect-25105/

"Contrary to the ‘bystander effect’, where individuals are less likely to intervene in adverse situations when others are present, those with autism do not conform to this norm. They are more prone to act in the face of wrongdoing, indicating the potential benefits organizations could derive from hiring neurodivergent individuals."

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar
AutisticAdam, to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

"You can’t be autistic - you can make eye contact!”

Being autistic doesn’t mean I can’t make eye contact, rather that eye contact can be painful and overstimulating for me. Yet, I make it because I have to. If I didn’t, many would be hurt/angry, and I’d face further ostracism. Thanks for your pointless comment anyway from someone that clearly doesn't know what your talking about.

@actuallyautistic

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic My doctor told me I make good eye contact. Got her fooled...

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@Dr_Obvious @MossyQuartz @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic Go for the bridge of the nose, about 3" off the head. That's what I do.

AutisticAdam, to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

Many autistic people struggle with “multiple choice” and “select the right answer” exam questions. A key reason for this is that the options available can feel - to our brains - like such vague simplifications or awkwardly worded answers that they all feel somewhat incorrect. 1/2

@actuallyautistic

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic Or vaguely worded enough to be overlapping and all correct...

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic Until we're down to the last two least incorrect sounding, neither of which counds correct.

18+ servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@Frances_Larina @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic I heard it was changed to enable people with 'it' to get formal accommodation, but can't substantiate that.

Dremmwel, to actuallyautistic French
@Dremmwel@mamot.fr avatar

@actuallyautistic
Autistic members, how do you do the difference between a question you can answer yes or no and an order disguised in a question?
If you ask me "do you want to do X?" or "do you think you can do X?" I always understand it as if I have the equal possibility to answer yes or no. But I often have trouble at work with colleagues or superiors finding disrespectful I answered no. Bc their question is a polite form of "do X!". But to me a question is a question, not an order 🤔

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@Dremmwel @actuallyautistic I'd ask for clarification. That question 'how well do you deal with ambiguity' kind of applies, because it could be an order, but also a request made because you're the only person that can, or because someone else screwed it up and you won't, et cetera...

DivergentDumpsterPhoenix, to autisticadvocacy
@DivergentDumpsterPhoenix@disabled.social avatar

It's a tough truth to face up to, but not every Autstic/neurodivergent person is a good person. Many of us find out the hard way that there are members of our own community who will do harm to us collectively and individually.

It's important that we acknowledge the truth that we can always do better as a community. We don't have to be perfect. We just have to do a little better each day.

@actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @audhd

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@MichaleKFreeman @nesi @DivergentDumpsterPhoenix @actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @audhd I was diagnosed at age 60, and my counselor used 'Asperger's' to describe my autism...if I had to explain to someone, I'd use the term because it's common and known, but Asperger was a nazi and I wouldn't use the term exclusively in place of .

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@omegahaxors @26pglt @Frances_Larina @Susan60 @Dr_Obvious @DivergentDumpsterPhoenix @actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @audhd I have found that if you approach the subject with people who sell flags and the like, they are open to getting rid of the puzzle piece (especially since the rainbow infinity is more attractive).

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@LilyoftheRally @omegahaxors @DivergentDumpsterPhoenix @actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @audhd I disagree; self-labeling is like pronouns. I wouldn't correct someone else's pronouns or their self label.

ScruffyDux, to actuallyautistic
@ScruffyDux@fosstodon.org avatar

@actuallyautistic I often feel my proximity to meltdown is proportionate to my junk food craving.

Anyone else have the same thing?

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@kkffoo @ScruffyDux @actuallyautistic A lot of mine are related to inanimate objects but I don't know any correlation between that and food. Stress, maybe.

PossiblyAutistic, to actuallyautistic

OK, starting again with the school reports in chronological order.

The reverse-chronological one was the one I picked them up while scanning it, and it was actually the least painful one ...

@actuallyautistic

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic I don't see that your school record identifies you as being autistic, just an awful darn smart kid. And picked on by the educational system. A lack of eye contact that put you in the remedial PE class could have been because you were a little kid and intimidated, e.g.

If you want to know if you actually are autistic, 2 things: 1, self-diagnosis is valid, lots of online tests to support; 2, if you need accomodation that means formal diagnosis. 1/2

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic 2/2 So - do you have problems with textures/colors/intensity of light/sound or similar? That's sensory processing disorder, which a fmr. counselor said usually accompanies a diagnosis. Do you find now, as an adult, that communication sometimes goes awry? How's the eye contact thing?

Online tests might shed some light on the subject if you haven't already explored them as a tool. And if you conclude you are - congrats on knowing!

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic SPD (sensory processing disorder) can show up with food or clothing textures, disliking certain colors, being sensitive to smells, etc., as well. I found that after my affirmed-by-a-counselor self diagnosis that I kept finding more things that ticked the boxes as signs I'm autistic. You might find that also...

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic Your school record makes you look like a smart kid; most of your record talks about intellectual ability, not things that typically are indicators of autism. If it talked mostly about your ongoing failure to make eye contact, refusal to eat lunchroom jello, throwing a fit b/c your painting smock was a color you didn't like - that would identify autistic traits more obviously.

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic Outside perspective, how you 'measure up' to social norms and expectations. Like that report from grade 5.

Don't forget that early diagnosis is more likely if the effect of autism is more obvious/pronounced, though, and that early diagnosis is relatively new. There was no diagnosis at all for me - not even a suggestion - until I was 60 and put all the pieces together with a counselor's help...

neversosimple, to actuallyautistic
@neversosimple@mstdn.social avatar

@actuallyautistic I'd like to share the great new video on PDA by the very informative and insightful YT channel Autistamatic.

Feel free to discuss and share your experiences! #ActuallyAutistic

https://youtu.be/HOrsMUyGnq4?si=suCK2tKIKGfR_IAK

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@neversosimple @actuallyautistic Not trying to grammar beotch, but PDA also stands for public displays of affection. Both that and Pathological Demand Avoidance could be topics of the vid, so would be handy to spell out in a post before using the acronym so that if someone happens to walz into the thread, they know immediately not to mention their fondness for holding hands with their boo. ; )

fladdle, to random
@fladdle@mastodon.social avatar

Any ideas? I’m looking for articles, maybe even research, on the impact on grief when family members or friends die overseas & you can’t really help from Australia (or wherever you live). For instance, war zones, natural disasters, human-made disasters & the like. I can’t find anything. 🤞#grief #bereavement #mourning

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar
ScriptFanix, to actuallyautistic
@ScriptFanix@maly.io avatar

Today, the addictologist told me it's usual for @actuallyautistic people to have some addiction or another. So please tell me, do you have one?

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@ScriptFanix @actuallyautistic Generalizations about any group of people are subject to a lack of sufficient data, bias, and what the heck is a 'addictologist'? Pretty sure that's not a thing...

housepanther, to actuallyautistic
@housepanther@masto.goblackcat.net avatar

@actuallyautistic Does anybody else out there actually prefer reading to watching TV? I find my own imagination creating the characters and scenery from what I am reading to be far more entertaining than what I watch on TV. LOL, I am such a geek. 🤓 😹

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@housepanther @actuallyautistic Depends on the book...read one once by (IIRC) Steve Berry that I was mentally casting for the movie: Jason Statham for the car chase scenes, e.g.

Kencf618033, to actuallyautistic
@Kencf618033@disabled.social avatar

@servelan There’s a mouse at hand...‽

@CynAq @hellomiakoda @actuallyautistic

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@Kencf618033 @CynAq @hellomiakoda @actuallyautistic Back in the before time when mice had cords. And the drivers were loaded...and you might have to tell the machine which port the mouse was on...

Kencf618033, to actuallyautistic
@Kencf618033@disabled.social avatar

@servelan The magic smoke is the magic.

@CynAq @hellomiakoda @actuallyautistic

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@Kencf618033 @CynAq @hellomiakoda @actuallyautistic The incense one lights to appease the PC gods to make the damn thing work, or the smoke one makes to calm oneself to figure out why the damn thing can't recognize the mouse which I am holding in my hand? 😜

CynAq, to actuallyautistic
@CynAq@neurodifferent.me avatar

@hellomiakoda ‘s thread about visual imagination reminded me of something I realized yesterday. I was talking to my wife about taking things apart as a kid, to see what’s inside and how I hate electronics as a field of technology. I don’t hate the devices and their functionality. I hate the way electronics work.

Let me elaborate.

As a child, I was very interested in how devices worked and liked to open things up, take them apart and put them back together. With mechanical devices, this has always been easy for me because I can see how the parts move and interact with each other, thus I can see their function and make sense of the whole thing easily. It is fixable if something isn’t destroyed but only misaligned for example, and I can readily identify what can’t be fixed without a new part.

Then one day, I opened up my first small fm radio. It was the biggest disappointment of my life up to that point. There were no moving parts with discernible functions. Nothing made sense because I couldn’t watch how they worked. I could see the components but they were completely opaque to me as to what their individual and collective functions were.

I remember feeling so utterly cheated. The world had invented something that I couldn’t figure out, by myself, as a six year old, and therefore I hated it.

I still find electronics boring to the extreme, even though I learned enough about the field to understand how they work. No visibly moving parts (electrons don’t count), nothing to look at, nothing to keep my interest going.

Can anyone in the community relate to this?

@actuallyautistic

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@CynAq @hellomiakoda @actuallyautistic The first time I took the case off of a pc (getting the case off is the hardest part; putting it back on is the hardest part), I was terribly disappointed by a lack of magic - it was just...parts. So, yeah, I get that.

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