the job i had wanted since i was a kid was the wrong job for me.
i have no career now and i'm also unemployable.
you know, i never developed a social life and i never started a family. it wasn't important to me at 20 or 30 but now, at 40, it feels like something's missing.
i'm an adult now and i'm no longer very interested in the hobbies i had at 20. there's nothing to do now.
i have a drinking problem.
why could i never do housework properly? oh, right, the #AuDHD...
i have nothing to lose, so i guess i'll try to ask the government to help me.
practical home assistance granted. admitted to back-to-work programme. applied for a social support contact today, to give myself more to do.
i'm nothing at the moment. i was broken down and now i have to build a new me, from scratch.
@bike that's where the big questions start cropping up. i've been asking myself what i want. a lot. the programme i'm entering early next year is meant to help figure that out. they offer job training and career counselling and such. i really need to try some things out to see what's right to me. i think something a bit more service-oriented or practical maybe. i like to be of help and to work with my hands.
@chrislw i was in my early 30s when i began suspecting something wasn't right. i knew i was different but chalked it up to being a nerd until i began running into problems and they grew bigger and bigger. i saw a psychiatrist in public healthcare about it. he dismissed #ADHD and said i had mild #ASD, but didn't seem very confident about it. there's no treatment for that and it isn't supposed to cause much trouble so i just kept trying to work for the next ~5 years.
i landed what i thought was a good job with nice colleagues, but felt myself beginning to struggle again, and that's when i contacted an independent psychiatrist with ADHD expertise to get a second opinion. he dismissed the ASD diagnosis and concluded it was ADHD, and he seemed confident about that.
the ADHD part always seemed to match me better, but i'm thinking there's some ASD in there as well, seeing as a lot of nerds are on the spectrum. the label AuDHD feels fitting here. some kind of #neurodivergence. spicy brain.
@chrislw there's a certain bliss in ignorance. learning that some of your problems are a condition can be a bit of a downer. on the other hand, it helps you develop more self-awareness. certain challenges become easier to predict ahead of time so you can take them into account. the formal diagnosis could entitle you to certain types of assistance and benefits, depending on where you live. it's a lot to take in.
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