I’m rewatching Elementary and I’m on season 4 where they introduce the autistic character Fiona Helbron. While I like some aspects about the character, I don’t like the trope that it is impossible for an autistic person to tell a lie. I’m lying. #ActuallyAutistic@actuallyautistic
Thought. I have always run warm. I do feel the cold, but not as much as most people. I hate (detest?) overheated department stores. This got worse with the onset of perimenopause, & I was unable to wear jumpers for years, because I couldn’t get them off quickly enough during hot flushes, which threatened spontaneous combustion. This settled somewhat after finally going on HRT.
I’ve noticed a change since going on ADHD meds. I now wear winter pjs on a “cool” summers night, & a nightie on warmer ones & am more likely to don a jacket of an evening.
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 51 TUESDAY! 19/12/23
TL:DR What days is it !!; Restricting my punctuation & emoji use as I tagged one of my fave VI Peeps in todays post ! ; NMS is the bees pyjamas! ; Mastodon ROCKS !
Erm I made a small error in my @Maj1 salutation this morning . . . I may , just may , have suggested it was. . . .Monday again 🙄🤦♂️
Ok I fess up , I totally said it was Monday this morning - not surprisingly this caused some confusion & more than a little piss taking on my TL 🤦♂️ 😆
I would have cottoned on to this if I hadn’t spent the morning tiding my bedroom so that I could actually move without risking serious injury whilst chatting with CDP 🧚♀️ 😊 , & then the afternoon playing NMS in co-op & solo. 🤦♂️
I would like to say that I had a more productive day , but hey ho I’ve nearly completed the 2nd truncated NMS Expedition 😆
Had fun catching up this evening & am writing this while watching S1.2 of Red Dwarf 😊
Tracked down @FreakyFwoof after losing track of him (soz mate, totally forgot your handle and was searching for your given name - my bad 😞)
Thanks to @nellie_m for reminding me of his UID ! 🙏
Final Thoughts:
Today has been a good day , I got a bit frustrated this morning , but the more I understand my triggers the more I can apply some basic dampening on them .
I am so glad that I moved to Mastodon just over a year ago , this community is unique & if you land on the right Instances & meet the right folk it is a life changing experience !
Thanks to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you ! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
TL:DR NMS forever ! (well until I get bored with it ! ); Mrs S.s Cans have been replaced successfully ! ; Mastodon ROCKS ! @weirdfolks ROCK harder ! ; 50 DAYS !
Welcome one & all to my 50th ,consecutive, entry ! This is now , officially, the longest diary I have ever kept ! 🎉🥳🍾🥳🎉
As is often the case at the moment today has been a much better day!
Chores were done, NMS was played , both in co-op & solo & I had a lovely time on here this afternoon - I only intended to spend a quick 10 minutes around lunchtime & before I knew it it was 15:35 !
I discovered that the whole ‘over stimulation ’ thing actually applies to me . . occasionally I can have true flashes if insight within moments of learning something new , this , sadly, was not one of those moments! 🙄🤦♂️
Mrs S.s new headphones rocked up as promised , so they were duly charged up & paired, just in time for her to watch TV while enjoying her evening repast.
I placed them proudly in front of her . . . . “Do they work ??? “ were the 1st words out of her mouth .
I admit I was slightly short with her & possibly slightly sarcastic, because of course after her spending the day anticipating this moment I was gonna present her with a dead set of headphones ! 🙄🤦♂️
Hey ho.
Final Thoughts:
I am totally back into NMS & loving it - hey I know its an addiction , but it’s better than some of the alternatives !
I am especially enjoying playing it in limited co-op with CDP 🧚♀️, we have a lot of fun together !
A massive Thank you to those that participated in the Cake war this afternoon with @MaJ1 , I have not had so much fun in ages ! 🤗🥰
Thanks to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you ! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
Something I've love to dive deeper into is how many AFAB or genderqueer individuals have been dx'd with Borderline Personality Disorder rather than Autism due to their past trauma?
Yes, I know they overlap. I've done the research including getting out my "Abnormal Psych" textbook.
But I also have some personal theories and I'm curious to hear from other self dx'd autistics misdiagnosed by mental healthcare. TY
TL:DR Triggers galore, with minimal chances for recover today.; Please sir can I get off now , I really don’t like this ride !
Today has been an exercise in masking when triggered.
I bought Mrs Squirrel some seriously expensive headphones to enable her to watch the TV in comfort, in the Black Friday sales.
I could go into detail here & bore the pants off you all , but the short version is that she bust them .
Me being me went thru the whole diagnostic routine TNA ( to no avail - sorry couldn’t resist ) .
So I set up an online chat session with the company I bought the headphones from , they were initially prepared to refund the price paid, but not replace the headphones , which are now considerably more than I paid in the sale !
When pressed they offered me the manufacturers details and suggested that I pursue the manufacturers for a replacement.
I this point a major trigger hit - I was already stressed by the situation & by the chat , now they wanted me to approach a 3rd party!
My brain at this point just decided this was unacceptable !
I told the Rep that I was autistic & suffered from PDD & I just wanted the refund, I also mentioned you lot & said I would recount the story . . . oh the power of SM ! I ‘forgot’ to mention that I am a squirrel on here , but hey all is fair in love and capitalism! I merely said I had a 1000 followers - which is true across the 2 accounts! No lie no foul !
Yon rep put me on hold for 5 minutes & when he came back all of a sudden a replacement was on the table 😊
So new headphones en-route as we speak, due tomorrow !
In the background while all this is going on Mrs Squirrel is trying to organise a Sandwich Platter for what is now a traditional buffet lunch at her Mums that your’s truly puts together.
I have been perstering her since October to do this ! Not surprisingly on the Sunday before Christmas such things are few & far between & our regular supplier was unable to help!! 🙄🤦♂️
Triggered again , I held in all the frustration & made a mental note of all the extra effort I now have to put in because I was ignored - again!
Some light relief came for an hour or so playing NMS with CDP 🧚♀️, I had arranged to spend the whole morning playing co-op with her , but that had to be vastly foreshortened due to the headphones saga !
After tea I went to try & pause the DVR from my phone app to go to the little boys room - no joy . Mrs Squirrel also had no luck trying to use the app on her phone - I was just about to go into full meltdown when I looked round to check the IR sender linked to the app & discovered it was hidden behind a Christmas card !!
Now the discussion has been had about said sender that it be neither moved nor blocked! Apparently Christmas cards are IR transparent …. in the same way that you can catch COVID from 5G transmitters! 🙄🤦♂️
Final Thoughts:
Nuggan save me from folk with the technical capabilities of a small sprout!
If you are reading this then you already surpass that level & thusly stand high in my regard!
So the day ends with me sitting on a mound of frustration that I cannot get rid of easily , An 8 legged monster from the deep has helped a little , but only a little as I don’t fancy a massive hangover in the morning! .
I may put my normal sleep pattern on hold tonight & play NMS until I fall asleep thru exhaustion at around 2am.
This will bugger up tomorrow , but none of the alternatives are any better & some are noticeably worse.
EDIT: I am mentally & physically shagged, the NMS marathon may have to be put on hold.
As I have said before, this is a diary, not a plea for help or sympathy , it is simply a brain dump to try & help me, & maybe others make sense of this game called life !
I cannot even analyse how much of this is ASD, or PDD or just an NT reaction .
The comms side is defo ASD, as are the high frustration levels at fairly minor events.
Thanks to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you ! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
I remember getting this 5 star review from Dr. Nick Walker. Nick has been one of the leading minds of the neurodiversity movement for over two decades. Her conceptualisation of neuroqueer theory has been groundbreaking.
My book is available in most territories, but do let me know if you have difficulty finding it 😊
Hello #UK#ADHD peoples....
My GP has given me an Adult "ADHD Self-Report Scale (ASRS-v1.1) Symptom Checklist" as part of trying to get medication prescribed.
Some questions ask about social interactions, but my answers will be impacted by my ASC1 ( #Aspergers ) traits (Questions 15, 17 and 18 just seem like they would be too rude to do.)
Is that likely to impact my NHS diagnosis? #ActuallyAutistic#Autism @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic
Is it a very autisticy thing that I once, as a grown adult, thought it was a good idea to make my own Charlie Brown zig zag T-shirt and then wear it out in public with khaki cargo shorts, and I only thought it was mildly quirky when I did? 🤔😆
Or that even now I have ideas for how to make an even better one?
Context: I didn't know I was autistic at the time. I do know though.
Any books on autism by autistic authors with higher support needs? Or blogs? We tend to center lower support needs voices and I want to make a point of using my position to elevate those who don’t get heard as much as I do 💜
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 48 Saturday 16/12/23
TL:DR Really , you think tonights entry is too long ! SMH 😜😂
First of all shoutout to all who offered support yesterday it is amazing that so many people reached out! Just Thank you ! 🤗🥰
Had a brilliant co-op with my Bestie this morning , we discovered the PS5s share screen facility, Remote Supports’ tool of choice ! 😆
An afternoon of tree building & decorating was accompanied by a trio of Christmas movies - Muppet’s Christmas Carol, Nightmare before Christmas & Arthur Christmas.
There may have been Blandys & Xmas treats followed by pizza !
Final Thoughts:
Nothing like good friends & a couple or 3 good movies to brighten the day 😊
Watched Arthur Christmas , see if you can spot a certain Squirrel near the end ! 😜 🐿️
Thanks to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you ! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
"I’m autistic," I say. A brief pause ensues, a furrowed brow from what I can see from the mirror, and then an unexpectedly humorous response: "Is that like a professional auto driver?"
All I want for #xmas is to be left alone from the expectations and the stress and the disappointment and the anxiety and platitudes and gatherings. #thankyou
The phrase "burnt out former gifted kid" has always given me the ick, but there are unique challenges/issues/traumas related to that experience that tend to come up in #autistic discussions and I've never encountered a good description.
Proposal for a slightly less icky alternative:
✨ burnt out former high achiever ✨