Please, can someone be so kind and explain me why choking has become such a fetish/kink?
I’m already aware of the mechanics behind it but I want to understand what motivates someone to turn a life threatning situation into sexually pleasing.
Are you expecting some kind of rational answer? A fetish or kink is basically defined by the sexual desire for something irrational. You can ask how that desire feels to possess or how one goes about playing out that desire in a safe consentual way… but you can’t really ask why, why doesn’t really come into it. It is sex, all of it is weird.
I guess for any fetish, this many people have always had it. Since it’s easier now to find others that enjoy it, they’re more comfortable talking about it openly?
It doesn’t and shouldn’t be life threatening. It’s the feeling of light-headedness that enhances everything else that also surrounds that kink. You’re actually not supposed to choke your windpipe but instead squeeze the sides of the neck to slow down but not stop blood flow. If done right and for short amounts of time it shouldn’t be life threatening at all. Of course with like everything else there’s a lot of people who don’t know/don’t care about the proper way to do it and end up just chocking their windpipe and stopping their breathing, which is extremely dangerous.
In the interest of disclosure, I don’t have a choking kink - but I’ve also been on the internet for nearly three decades at this point so who even knows anymore.
My understanding is that a large part of it is trust. The chokee is quite literally putting their life in someone else’s hands and saying, “I trust you enough to do this without killing me.” Of course, throw it into casual relationships and it kind of muddies that a little bit - after all, how can you trust someone you just met at a bar/on Tinder/etc. enough to know that they won’t kill you? But I think that’s where it starts, anyway.
Rape play is the most common kink. You are, after all, an animal with a specific genetic history. Wind back the clock a few centuries and it makes a bit more sense. Thankfully, these days we can do it consentingly. To answer your question, it’s complicated and involves trusting your partner.
I dont see how basic bdsm is a trend. Seems like every generation has a bdsm awakening at some point, everyone gets used to it, forgets about it or continues to play. Then after another 10-15 years it comes back.
My partner is super shy about it. She said she fantasizes about being taken advantage of, but obviously she would hate it irl. It’s a role play thing; there’s lots of, “you okay? Do you need me to stop? Etc…”, and then right back into the dirty talk. It doesn’t have to be an asphyxiation/ lightheaded thing either. It’s a lot like getting whipped, having your hair pulled, getting bit/ scratched, etc…
I think a lot of it has to do with how women and sex are depicted in the media, and that creates fetishes growing up. Some people also like certain parts of the body. I noticed most people who like to get choked, like hands.
So here’s my theory on masochistic kinks in general.
Sexual pleasure can be an escape from pain or negative emotions
Using sexual pleasure to escape from some pain, via the mechanism known as “classical conditioning” makes that pain a trigger for the sexual response. It creates an (at least one-way) association from the pain to the sexual release.
Anticipation of sexual release triggers preparation for it, ie arousal
So I’m gonna talk about some dark shit here. Let’s say a woman is about to be killed by a mugger in an alley. He’s beating the shit out of her because he’s a sadist and the mugging is just an excuse to himself, to get violent with people. She, or that monster part of her that comes out when her life is threatened, to protect her, decides to try and reframe the situation as sexual in order to maybe survive. So she seduces him. It works. He stops being violent with her. It’s like, it’s an act but she knows it has to be convincing enough to save her life so she gets into it, to be convincing.
It’s just fire together, wire together stuff. Painful, ugly, shameful, or disturbing experiences get associated with later sexual “reward” (in the technical, operant conditioning sense of the word), and that gets reinforced through repeated activation if the person indulges in it.
TL;DR:
Some pain or a negative emotion experience precedes sexual release in time
Preceding in time creates classically-conditioned association. Pain now activates sexual pathways
One thing that creates consistent preceding-in-time relationship is using sex as escape from negative emotions
One example (given above) is woman who escapes being killed by having sex with attacker
Another would be a guy who is humiliated and it’s unbearable so he jerks off just to feel something positive
Dungeon ni Hisomu Yandere na Kanojo ni Ore wa Nando mo Korosareru Raw - Chapter 6.1 - 16 shiet and here i was reading manga with this type of story (mc rewind time when dies) and in this pic he just rejected girl’s advances (sauce is: Dungeon ni Hisomu Yandere na Kanojo ni Ore wa Nando mo Korosareru) also as wn reader i gotta warn those who’ll start it, it’s some “Inception” type of shit
Try web novel zetrotranslation.com/…/my-yandere-girlfriend-hidi… >!dungeon is just the prologue, after he finish dungeon that girl gonna snap and destroy the world and then he’ll meet god and god be like: bruh u fucked up now go 100 years prior to save the world, and lemme remind you, story started with story how mc have extremely rare white hair and was hated because some person with white hair 100 years ago betrayed humanity, also picture i commented before is from after the moment you commented, she was kinda mad when he rewinded time, look up raws!<
I had a chick offer me her number so I could give her directions but I just looked up the place and showed he the route on google maps, I didn’t catch on till someone who over heard asked if I was just being rude
She even said “I’m trying to give you my number!” and inside I’m like duh we already went over this
I once had a girl stop me in the street and ask me for directions back to her hotel. She said she was new in town and wanted to meet some locals. I showed her on the map that it was on the same street as we were standing, just four blocks down. She laughed and said something like, “Im not sure, can you walk there with me?”
And I pointed and was like “its literally that building down there!”
And she goes "Oh… " and wandered off, then crossed the street and went into a cafe
To this day Im not sure if I missed out on getting laid or losing my kidneys.
When I was young I missed so many signals (though I dare anyone to understand the signals sent by a teen tomboy) I married the woman whose first move was a hug
After being married, then after being divorced and too broken to date then I saw every signal, but they all quietened down (or I was missing them) when I was ready to date again
Some non-signals are pretty bold though - at a recent music festival a woman wanted to kiss every man present. I’m not up for cheating so I dodged her
I had a girl start choking me when we made out in the back of my van for the first time. I have never been choked nor choked, so I didn’t really know what to do in the moment, just rolled with it. Later asked her about it and asked “is that what you like” to which she obviously said yes. People are horrible at communication, no wonder that relationship failed.
I remember one girlfriend back in the day told me to talk dirty to her so I said “do you like that bitch?” While fucking one day and she broke down crying and I spent the next 30 minutes holding her balling her eyes out…
Was it everyone’s preferred container? I vaguely remember someone’s parents having bagged milk when I was a kid on the east coast but cartons were far more common. Sorry you got deported.
Some do. One of the biggest wonders of my life has been growing up and learning how many women out there are actually into being choked, tied up, degraded and all other variety of sexual kinks.
My now wife dropped her single status 7 times in the first conversation we ever had. So I asked her to go hiking with me. She agreed for some reason. Strange person she just met asking her to go alone in the woods with no one around?
One girlfriend. First date included getting in my car, and ended with me taking her to my house. We played Sonic 🥰
But yeah, someone trusting you enough to get into your vehicle the first time you meet them is on one hand awesome ❤️ but on the other hand, like, dude be grateful I’m not a serial killer 😂
I’m the outdoors type, and I have fucked this up on dates SO many times.
Last gf: SECOND date I take her out to my camp in the swamp. Yes, private land in the fucking boondocks. She was so outgoing, adventurous and into me I didn’t think about it! Few weeks later told me she was scared shitless.
My new wife is a total city girl from Manilla. SECOND date I met her at a local hiking park at sundown (she was late, OK?!). It’s in the city, but still kinda wild.
“But what if there are bears?”
“I mean, it’s possible there are black bears, but they’re not coming near a human talking and making noise, and I have a pistol if it comes to scaring one off.” (Yes, I said that. Figured she knew I had a pistol, her ex was a gun nut, she kept hugging and feeling me all over on our first date, couldn’t hide it.)
She stood there in the last pool of streetlight, violently shaking her head side-to-side.
“Hey! It’s OK! Let’s go find something to do downtown!”
Later told me she was afraid I’d drag her off in the woods and murder rape her. Gods I’m dumb. She took my hand in marriage, still scared of bears. Worked out!
Ha! My now wife realised on our first date that she was in a strange town, with no one she knew, and no one knew we were on a date. Cue her drunkenly asking me if I was an axe murderer and if I was going to chop her into little bits…about 40 times…
I decided not to mention I collect knives until the 3rd date.
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