My partner is super shy about it. She said she fantasizes about being taken advantage of, but obviously she would hate it irl. It’s a role play thing; there’s lots of, “you okay? Do you need me to stop? Etc…”, and then right back into the dirty talk. It doesn’t have to be an asphyxiation/ lightheaded thing either. It’s a lot like getting whipped, having your hair pulled, getting bit/ scratched, etc…
I think a lot of it has to do with how women and sex are depicted in the media, and that creates fetishes growing up. Some people also like certain parts of the body. I noticed most people who like to get choked, like hands.