Today we learnt...
yukichigai, 
What a horrible day to have genitals.
Dick_Justice, 
Why did I learn how to read?
VanillaGorilla, Society forced you. Time to burn it all down.
ElBarto, I knew I was right to blame society for everything!
Donttaintmebro, It’s a terrible day for rain.
Fuck_u_spez_, Because you had better parents than Jared, 19.
balderdash9, You can un-learn easily enough: here’s a ball-peen hammer
ininewcrow, 
Alcohol … Lots and lots of alcohol over many years does the same thing
Darkassassin07, 
Only two cures to a hangover: Don’t start, or don’t stop.
moonsnotreal, 
Ok I guess we both have it bad
GrammatonCleric, 
A fart is nowhere near as bad as the inside of a dirty toilet 😅
captainlezbian, I’ve had both happen, yeah both suck
SexualPolytope, 
How?
TaleOfSam, 
Life's wild, my friend
TheHottub, 
Sack fold
HerbalGamer, Sack Fold new bandname called it!
TheHottub, First album titled: Pinch & Roll
kamenlady, 
First single: Hanging around the corner
Walk_blesseD, 
Some of us go from having one set of bits to having a different set of bits.
DeusHircus, Someone’s never had their balls shaved as smooth as a Christmas ham. You can definitely get bubbles floating up past your balls, but it takes a decent amount of sweat and a complete lack of hair
ininewcrow, I think I’d rather have my junk hanging outside my body than to have a fart do a 180 on me
wil, 
As a pussy haver. What the fuck
motor_spirit, Today we encounter the “pussy havers” and the “pussy have nots” learning side by side! Spectacular!
Blimp7990, As a pussy haver. What the fuck
I think having a permanently moist cavity* is a tougher draw on average, but it really is truly horrifying when you self-adjust on a public toilet and Make Contact. “gklvjsdlfgjljgklwashrnblkiujsrthfkwhfernvjkshnjhkl” is the reaction, even in the hypothetical.
*except ben shapiro’s wife
WhyIDie, I’m now equal parts envious, fearful, and in awe at women’s capability to weaponize much more destructive dutch ovens than men.
bingbong, The dreaded double dutch
aaron_griffin, 
Don’t put fish in a dutch oven
Old_Fat_White_Guy, Instructions unclear… just shit in Koi pond while attempting to Dutch oven a fish.
ininewcrow, God: this is why I made everything a sin.
grayman, I was helping my daughter (3) pee. Pee came out of 3 places at once at one point, then 2.
I’ll keep my ding dong, thanks.
razieltakato,
kevinbacon, 
W-what?
BonesOfTheMoon, It’s true.
Scrof, At least we can all relate to water splashes.
Mongostein, Oh man I had diarrhea in a porta-potty a couple weeks ago and got some splash back. I was not a happy camper.
Dick_Justice, Was it almost full or something? Usually the… stuff… is pretty far below the seat
persolb, That diahrea might have been extra energetic; falling at faster than terminal velocity
4am, Yeah you know those slow motion videos of the water droplet that bounces up from the surface tension?
Well, that. At scale.
Mongostein, Oh yeah it was super energetic
papajohn, I call bullshit. No one survives the blue touch.
Boddhisatva, Neptune’s Kiss…
OutlierBlue, Cold water splashing on our buttholes is the great gender equalizer.
xpinchx, Poseidon’s Kiss™️
HulkSmashBurgers, Lol (not porn, but on redgifs because nsfw I guess?) www.redgifs.com/watch/unhealthylivelybarbet
CannedTuna, A perfect example of something that should be tagged NSFW, but isn’t porn.
drem, If you live in europe or asia (i think) then probably not
khannie, 
Continental Europe maybe. On the islands ye be gettin’ Poseidon’s kiss.
Nfntordr, If only my dick was big enough to touch the inside of the bowl
DaBabyAteMaDingo, Tell me about it. My short stack can only rest comfortably on my nuts perched on the seat - it’s that or having my head get shredded by the razor edge of the seat lol
Lil dick click rise-up! We need to fight for our RIGHTS. We can’t take this shit no more!
Nfntordr, Is that when your dick is buried into your nut suck so when you pee, you piss all over your balls?
DaBabyAteMaDingo, Don’t use me to feel better about your shit, little dick.
littlecolt, Hilarious, but Buried Penis is a real condition. Small dick + overweight can be a horrible combo. If you have huge balls it’s probably the ultimate triple threat. Best be carrying wet wipes to freshen up heh
spader312, You don’t want it to be, the cold touch of a toilet bowl specially a dirty public restroom gives me chills
radioactiveradio, Only if there was some protective skin to protect the pp head.
TheLowestStone, 
Relax guys. We all know girls don’t fart.
TheWoozy, I can tell you haven’t met my GF.
koyo, im with everyone here. what the fuck
Dream_state, The old witches kiss
cyber_kalashnikov, 
In Portuguese Brazilian this has this exact name! Wow!
telllos, Same in French, le baiser de la sorcière.
greyscale, 
Its neptunes kiss when you let a turd go and water shoots back up your asshole from the splash.
metallic_z3r0, illustration: youtu.be/_eTsrtZdAJc
ThrowawayPermanente, I don’t know what I was expecting
Darkassassin07,
OtakuAltair, What the fuck
Son_of_dad, I’m a guy and I’ve had those farts that escape up between your leg and balls and pop out the top
gonzo0815, Is it ok to like those?
maiskanzler, Whatever tickles your pickle.
Pyroglyph, 
Fuck you, well done.
Son_of_dad, I’m 39 and they make me giggle like an idiot
4am, Slouching at the PC gets me every time :(
dylanTheDeveloper, 
When I shit my dick touch the water
victron, 
You’re not supposed to shit in the urinals, my dude.
phorq, Then why are they butt-level???
_g_be,
GratefullyGodless, 
Why are you shitting your dick?
CheeseToastie,
Stumblinbear, 
Ahhh, good ol’ Poseidon’s Kiss
Darkassassin07, Na, that’s when the water splashes up to your bunghole. Poseidons Kiss.
You’re thinking of the Witches Kiss.
Stumblinbear, No that’s when it touches the toilet itself, not the water
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