@ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone
@ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

ada

@[email protected]

Admin of lemmy.blahaj.zone

I can also be found on the microblog fediverse at @ada or on matrix at @ada:chat.blahaj.zone

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

ada,
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Old men are old for old people too…

ada,
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Are you thinking of crows?

ada,
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Don’t stress. Sometimes magpies throw you a warbly one

ada,
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We run a blåhaj matrix room if you’re interested in checking that out

ada,
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Welcome!

ada,
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Yes, you’re slower than cars; but so is a horse rider, and they’ve been allowed on city streets since long before cars existed

“Allowed” isn’t really the most important metric for me when I’m trying to work out where to ride. I’m mostly interested in being less likely to be hit by a car. It sucks for me and the pedestrian if I hit a pedestrian. It sucks if I come off my bike from hitting a piece of rubbish in the kerb and channel alongside the road. But I die if I get hit by a car who isn’t paying attention when I’m in a car lane, even if I’m doing everything right.

Like bicycles, electric scooters should never be ridden on city sidewalks adjacent to buildings.

In my city, it’s illegal to ride a scooter on the road (aside from dedicated bike lanes). If there is no dedicated bike lane, then the sidewalk is where you are legally required to use the scooter.

ada,
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Bike Riders of lemmy, you okay with me riding my eScooter in the bike lane?

As far as I’m concerned, you’re just another bike :)

ada,
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There isn’t one…

ada,
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I got a bug of some kind last Friday, and though I feel better, I’m not quite there, and exercise is still taking it out of me, so I’ve stuck to cycling this week. Will get back out there this weekend

ada,
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No thanks. I left Twitter by choice. I have no plans on joining up with mini Twitter

ada, (edited )
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It’s basically saying men’s issues are only a problem for Feminism when it can be framed as also impacting women.

Well yes. Feminism is focused on the specific forms of inequality that women and folk perceived as women face.

However, the root cause of that inequality often creates issues for everyone, not just women. So feminism isn’t “at odds” with mens rights, but rather, addressing the issues that women face will improve issues for men too, because of those shared root causes.

ada,
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The exact same thing happened on Reddit though.

Apples, Apple, TrueApples, HonestApples, AppleFruit. Things like that happened all the time

ada,
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If a trans woman tells you not to use masculine terms for her, don’t use masculine terms for her. There is zero tolerance for transphobia on this instance.

You’re gone.

ada,
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My main issue with it is that trans meds use it to differentiate themselves from other trans folk. I’ve got nothing against the term in and of itself, but I avoid using it because I don’t want people thinking that I’m trans med.

ada,
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Melted/Melting ice cream

ada,
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Nah, it’s a texture thing that grew in to more, though I don’t know why. Either way I can’t stand looking at it, and I have to eat ice cream quickly so it doesn’t melt because if it gets on my hand or in my mouth, I won’t be having a good time…

ada,
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Ratshit also means exhausted/sick/hungover to most Australians

ada,
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Wasp and hornet populations are bigger than ever

They’re not non honey bees!

Non honey bees are things like the blue banded bee, or the burrowing bee!

ada,
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Nobody asks for steak and chips expecting a packet of potato chips next to a plate with just a steak on it.

You’re in for a whole experience then if you ever visit Scotland!

ada,
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This isn’t poking fun at us, this is just facts :)

Why is cooking a food item method called different things by what the item is, or what is the criteria?

On the Food network they boil potatoes, but they poach carrots. They poach turkey, but they boil eggs. They sauté’ onions, but they fry eggs in the same pan. Likewise, they fry hash browns, but they sauté’ onions in the same pan before adding the potatoes....

ada,
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Well, until this post, I had never heard of poached carrots

ada,
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I’m still cut that the only male romance option for female V is a cop, and a creep on top of it

ada,
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Male voiced V is so boring though… The actor has such a limited range of emotion in his lines…

ada,
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I don’t know about crazy. Big beards make been look hot

ada,
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As far as I can tell, I’m still a novid

ada,
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The left wing party of Australian federal politics decided that treating refugees inhumanly was acceptable.

That moment changed how I view politics and how I view people. It made me realise just how irrelevant empathy for others was in most public and political discourse. It made me more cynical about “the system”, changed the way I voted, and transformed the face of my own advocacy to put empathy for others at the forefront.

ada,
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Your last paragraph, and realising that that is how most people think is part of why it was such a profound moment for me.

Ignoring human rights abuses does not make them closed and resolved. Nor do I care for any other issues they’re advocating for if the price is ongoing erasure of basic human rights.

ada,
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My aunt forcing me to eat tomatoes. I hated them, and refused to eat them, which upset my grandmother. I had a mean aunt, who forced my brother and I to sit down and eat them anyway, even though we hated them…

Imagine my surprise when I found out how good they taste!

I still love them to this day :)

ada,
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!canvas

There’s already been a big event and everything!

toast.ooo/post/288913

ada,
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Hey VV!

ada,
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In my case, my therapist has voiced a tentative opinion that, what at first felt to me to be a desire to be a woman, has been me conflating my own identity with my unrestrained sexual desires and fetishes

This is a huge red flag. That right there is straight from anti trans conversion therapy tactics.

A therapist should not be telling you who you are or who you aren’t, they should be helping you find yourself. And that there is not helping you find yourself, it’s taking someone struggling to find themselves and then pushing them in a certain direction.

If you are trans, all you will get from following that path is pain and anguish, because nothing will ever feel right about pretending you’re not.

If I were you, I would ask your therapist something like this. Now that you’ve explored the possibility that you’re not trans, and what that might mean, and how you arrived there, how about you explore the possibility that you might be trans, and see where that exploration leads you.

If they push back, and refuse to consider anything like that as an option, or if they allow it, but start loading the conversation with negative stereotypes about being trans and comparing it to a fetish, then you need to get away from that therapist for your own well being.

You might be trans, you might not be, but you need to find a therapist who is open to helping you find that answer, not a therapist that thinks they already have the answer and is trying to push you down that path. Make sure therapist is the former, not the latter.

ada,
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Often, people who ask this question already know the answer, deep down. In those cases, the issue isn’t so much that they don’t know the answer, but rather that they’re afraid of the consequences of accepting that answer.

And to me, it sounds like maybe you do know the answer…

ada,
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If there’s 9 Nazis at a table and one normal person joins, does that mean there’s 10 normal people?

That’s how the Nazis will spin it, yeah…

Considering Vocal Feminization Glottoplasty, curious what others have heard or experienced themselves about vocal fem surgery in general.

I’m starting to hit a bit of a wall with voice training lately. I can find my resonance, I can adjust the positioning of my vocal cords and where my voice is coming from. I occasionally pass on the phone, and I work all day over the phone so I do get pretty regular indirect feedback in terms of how my voice gets me gendered....

ada,
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I’ve had glottoplasty, and I know quite a few other folk that have too. And it can make a huge difference. But other people say that it changed their pitch, but that they aren’t happy with the results.

And from what I can tell, the difference was largely related to whether people had done voice training or not. Those who had done training seemed to find that VFS was a big help in getting them across the line, but those who hadn’t, tended to find that their results were more “meh”.

The way I put it is that VFS improved the instrument I was using to speak, and let me get more for less with my vocal training.

The downsides for me are that I can’t project my voice very well anymore. I am regularly told that I am softly spoken, and I have trouble being heard in clubs and busy restaurants. But I can shout and sing just fine. It’s only projecting a speaking voice that I struggle with.

ada,
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My surgeon was an Australian, Dr Broadhurst in Brisbane. Overall, I’m really happy with the results.

In my case, I had to have vocal cord surgery anyway to remove nodules on my cords, and given that there was a vfs surgeon in my city and he was willing to do both in the same surgery, that made my decision pretty easy.

I won’t say my voice is perfect. I’m never misgendered over the phone, but I think on some days, without context clues, some people don’t know how to gender me. Most of the time though, people gender me just fine. I think though that my voice is a bit less rich than many cis women’s, but that’s because I never really focused on the training that it sounds like you’ve got down pat.

ada,
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I have a phobia of partially melted ice cream…

This would be a special kind of hell for me…

ada,
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Dress go spinny!

https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/pictrs/image/b49cf294-e489-4296-949a-f9e541aa3f52.jpeg

ada,
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What are the type of communities you primarily use on Lemmy?

Leaving LGBTIQ out of this seems like a bit of an oversight.

How do you plan on collating people who put one of the many varied ways of describing those communities?

ada,
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Artificial scarcity (invites) and VC funding

Your friend loves your least favourite politician. What do you say?

This question’s on my mind because my coworker today mentioned they would vote for Trump if they could (mind you this is 2023, in Canada). I don’t generally have the talking points or the desire to fight about it, so I just deflected the conversation. But I often wish I was more strong-willed and could try to figure out why...

ada,
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That would be a deal breaker. Someone who would vote for folk who want me dead is not a friend, and it’s not something I would pretend not to hear.

ada,
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It’s never that simple. We also get more hungry and want to eat more, as a result of the increased energy burn

ada,
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My friend invites me to her party.

I have two options. I can tell her no, because as fun as the party will be, I can’t handle the fact that it’s going to end a few hours after I get there. Or, I can go and have fun, despite knowing that it’s going to end.

ada,
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My zFold would like a word

ada,
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I didn’t until I was an adult.

I made very sure not to raise my own child that way, as if some words are inherently bad. It’s the context that matters, not the word itself, and I made sure my kiddo learnt that instead of “swearing bad”

ada,
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So, I told my kiddo I don’t care if they swear at home, or swear with their friends, because words are only words. What matters when they’re speaking to me or around me is the meaning of their words, and whether they’re intended to hurt.

However, I told them that not everyone thinks that, and to some people, swearing is inherently upsetting, and they will need to be aware of that. If they swear at school or somewhere else and get in trouble, “I am allowed to swear at home” won’t be an excuse.

ada,
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By default, all Lemmy servers can talk to each other. An admin for a server can choose for their server to not communicate with any other server.

That means that people on those two servers can’t communicate, but makes no difference to people not on those two servers.

That’s it

ada,
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Because this isn’t without context. It’s a commonly recognised term in the trans community, used by a trans person speaking to other trans folk.

Of course, not all trans folk know the term even then, but still, the vast majority of people this question is intended for will understand the term

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