This isn’t necessary but you could get a gaff. I have some from leolines and they are very comfortable and they help alleviate some dysphoria for me. Also I will second the person suggesting exercise. I am doing it myself and it is a very good.
So for the past few months, usually near the beginning of the month, I will have a few days where I am super depressed and emotional. Today is one of those days. It started off with me waking up crying at 2 am for no reason and I was literally sobbing for 2 hours before I was able to fall back asleep. Then I waking up, I felt...
Recently I have been struggling a little trying to accept and prepare for the consequences of coming out and exposing this very sensitive part of myself to the world. With the increase in hate crimes and anti-trans sentiment it is a very scary idea....
Honestly it is scary, but it depends on where you are. I boymoded for a really long time and eventually I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to be myself and I said to myself “screw it, so what if I die” and so far people have been a lot nicer to me than expected. However, I am quite hypervigilant and I make sure to look out for and avoid people I think will give me trouble.
Sorry this ended up being longer than I expected, I might add a tldr in the morning lol.
For me, I had recently turned 16 years old and I was sitting in the library at school and then out of nowhere the thought that I am trans just appeared in the front of my mind. It was a very loud and persistent thought and it didn’t go away. I remember leaving the library that day and walking to class, and I finally noticed that I was envious of women. There were so many emotions going through my head, I felt scared, depressed, and confused for like the first 2 weeks. Everytime I saw a woman loads of thoughts and emotions flooded my head and it was very overwhelming.
After the first 2 weeks I started to accept myself, but I was still scared and depressed. One of first things I remember doing to expirement was shoddily photoshopping long hair and makeup on me, and being happy. I also shaved and made a few picrews as well. A few weeks later I bought some women’s clothes and I would wear them in my room at night, and that made me really happy as well. I was still super scared to come out and presenting masc most of the day made me very depressed. My mom noticed my smooth legs one day and critized them, but I don’t remember much else from that interaction.
I eventually decided to come out to one of my friends by sending them a meme and their first response scared me because they replied “No way, you can’t be serious” and then they followed it up with “I’m actually trans too” so that was a nice surprise even though she did not phrase that well. Shortly after that I decided to go to school with painted nails and my mom noticed and started asking me a million questions. Eventually she asked me if I was trans and I just looked at her and then she said “You are, aren’t you” and I gave a small nod. She then told me that she was proud of me and gave me a hug and I felt relieved. And then she proceeded to tell me a story that I don’t think is true about a trans woman she supposedly saw once, but she was essentially telling me with that story that if I transitioned I’d be ugly and never find love and that feeling of relief disappeared real quickly after that.
I still hadn’t come out to the rest of my family yet because of that weird reaction from my mom, and then covid happened and i started doing school online, which meant I could grow my hair out and not worry about the awkward phase. Shortly after my mom kind of pushed me to come out to my younger sister, which I felt kind of obligated to since she had recently came out herself as lesbian. So I texted her and I knew in the back of my mind that it’d probably be fine however I was still scared, but my sister was of course very accepting.
Nothing new happened for a while after that, but then my mom decided to tell my grandma and other family, but not my dad, I was upset she did that but fortunately they were accepting so it was actually relieving in a way since I was worried about doing it myself. A while later, I don’t remember how long, it could have been a few months to year my mom decided to tell my dad with me in the room and I was very upset and also scared. My dad’s reaction was “y’know some people don’t like that” and I was like “why do I care” and then he left the room. Fortunately, he never intentionally deadnamed me, but he still misgenders me pretty frequently, although I’ve noticed that he is gendering me correctly more frequently now that I have started hrt and voice training.
This time I decided I should probably conceal carry. I’ve done it before, so it’s not like I don’t know what I’m doing, or am generally unsafe with a firearm. I went to the bar I used to cook for, and after I got in, this hick just loudly proclaimed every minority by slur they didn’t like and wished them all dead. He...
Oof, that sucks that you have to carry for protection. I live in Minnesota and I don’t carry anything for protection here as I feel pretty safe, although I’d never visit a rural area alone. It’s always alarming to me whenever I see a gun as I was raised in a very anti-gun environment and my only pro-gun view I have is that the left shouldn’t disarm themselves while the right is currently heavily armed. Because of that, I see conceal carry as an extreme measure to take, but I understand why you would be doing that if you are in Florida. I hope you are able to get out of Florida to somewhere safer.
Yeah I figured it would be rough but to me it still sounds a lot better than my old voice. And that is good advice for how to talk to her, thank you for the feedback.
I don’t know if this is the best way to do it, but when I started my pitch range was terrible so I decided to talk all the time in highest pitch voice I could comfortably do and it really wasn’t that much higher. I’ve been doing it for about a week and I can now go a lot higher than I used to. I’ve also noticed that while doing this my resonance moved up even though I wasn’t trying to, I’m thinking maybe I did it subconsciously or something. My voice still sounds masc though, but it is a lot closer to a femme voice than it used to be.
So a lot of the changes that are introduced by taking estrogen sound pretty cool. Kinda goes without saying in this community, but I’ll say it anyway, and you can’t stop me....
Reduced testicular volume means that the actual testes are going to shrink. I’ve been on hrt for about four months and mine have about halved in size.
Also your muscles are going to reduce. After being on hrt for a few weeks, I went to help my dad move a heavy armoire and I could barely make it budge. After that I decided to start working out, but I don’t have access to weights or a gym, so I’ve been doing pushups and I’ve definitely gotten stronger from them but I don’t think I’m as strong as I used to be yet.
My changes have been happening really fast for some reason. I even had breast growth on week one and they are now a lot larger than what I’ve seen other people have at four months. When I did my first follow up, my doctor said my E levels were a lot higher than expected for the time I had been on it so idk what is up with me.
You are valid and it is not a phase. Stay strong! You can overcome your dysphoria and live a happy life. I know how hard it is. There were times were I had lost pretty much all hope and felt miserable, but somehow I endured and now I’m in a much better place and I’ve never been happier and you can do it too!
I had those doubts too for a short while but then one day I woke up and saw her. I’m tall, although not hairy, and it used to bother me, until I realized that there are plenty of cis women who are also tall. There was a woman who used to come into where I worked and she was like 7 feet tall.
I don’t know what it is like to not have anyone who is supportive but I can imagine that it is very difficult. In my opinion, you should focus on what is going to make you happy. I think that starting back up on HRT would make you happy, or else you wouldn’t feel the way you do for stopping, and clearly you care or else you wouldn’t have made a post here. I think you should have a serious talk with your partner about it though. If they are unsupportive like you think, then you should probably separate. Your life is yours and you should live it for yourself and not anyone else.
Something that has helped me is this quote I heard Eric Andre say, “The people who mind don’t matter, and the people who matter don’t mind.” That singular quote has given me so much confidence in my life since I first heard it and I think it could be very useful to you as well
Went to get a prescription today (not hrt, a different drug) and this guy tried to cut the line and the pharmacist said “sir, she is in line next” and it made me sooo happy. (And then I was sad that I had to use my legal name to get my script, but overall happy for getting gendered correctly)
Wow that sucks that you have to wait so long. Here in the US I only had to wait a little over a month and then I got gender dysphoria put on my medical record at the first appointment however it cost almost $800 but insurance brought it down to around $400. I still have to wait 8 more months and then see two therapists and prove my transness to them before I can get surgeries that will cost tens of thousands. I don’t know if I’d rather have to wait several years but not have to pay as much or have to forgo being able to afford to buy a house lol. At least we got this community to support each other. Feel free to voice your concerns here too!
250 minutes of screening over several months seems excessive to me. For me I only spent like a few minutes describing my gender dysphoria before I got a diagnosis. Thing is, we spend a lot of time ourselves thinking about it, I personally spent 4 years thinking about it before I made an appointment, so screening for more than like 15 minutes is pretty redundant. Many trans people see it as offensive to suggest that we are going through a phase because of the pain we’ve had to go through and also only about 1% detransition and the majority that do detransition do so because they don’t feel supported or safe and not because they realized it wasn’t for them. Also the puberty that is forced on us also causes permanent changes and that is traumatizing for a lot of people.
Even though I came out to myself at 16 it took me until I was 20 to start HRT. I experienced that as well, even with just going to buy women’s clothes in person. I went to the store walked around for a few minutes and left. I was so afraid at first but I also felt really dysphoric about wearing men’s clothes so I went back and eventually I wasn’t afraid anymore. I remember feeling that way about getting HRT too, but after I made the appointment I was so happy, although I had a few doubts on the day of if I should really be doing it but I went in anyway and after the appointment my mother told me she hadn’t seen me so happy since I was just a little kid.
Thanks for the positive words! I honestly don’t think the lower libido is as bad as it seems but it depends on the person. For me I’d say mine about halved but I’ve heard that progesterone can bring it back up. Other than that I haven’t had any sexual changes that I see as negative, except for that I will probably never have bio kids lol. Taking it slow with wearing femme clothes around the house is a good way to build up confidence. I did that for about two years before I finally went outside in femme clothes for the first time. Dysphoria tends to push you to do things you are afraid to do or not feeling ready to do yet because you get to a point where you can’t take it anymore. I know you want to wait to maybe have a second kid but if your dysphoria gets bad enough it might force you to make a decision earlier than you wanted to, if mine wasn’t so bad I would have waited longer to do sperm banking. I wish you well on your future transition endeavors!
I never had the issue with my hips somehow but before I started hrt my hips, waist, and bust measurements were all super close together and that made buying clothes difficult and I ended up having to go with looser fitting clothes because form fitting ones always ended up being too tight unless I bought them bigger but then they weren’t form fitting anymore.
With pants I wore my old ones for quite a while since I knew my hip measurements would change with hrt however I did get things that were stretchy such as leggings since I figured that they’d probably still fit me after my proportions changed.
Also when you are wearing a skirt I recommend that you wear biker shorts underneath because then you won’t have to try to hide your underwear.
I’ve been wondering if the reason I’ve only seen small results after nearly two years is that while my levels are fine by body can’t do what it’s supposed to. And if that’s the case should I just quit hrt
You have been asking us if you should quit hrt for months now and our answers are always going to boil down to no you shouldn’t. You honestly look fine imo and I think at this point you need to see a therapist because there’s only so much random Internet people can do for you.
I know how it feels. I recently quit my job because I didn’t feel safe being out as a trans woman there and now I can be myself full-time (although I don’t have a job anymore lol). I can say that you will probably always be depressed being someone you’re not and having two identities is really tiring.
It is more than clothes though. It is also pronouns and body shape and etc. I think the reason you might have hated shopping before is because you were shopping for men’s stuff and now you are looking at women’s stuff which you like.
If you live somewhere where it is safe to be out as a transwoman then I’d say do it (when you are ready), random people in public care a lot less than you think they would. I’m going to guess that you are French based on you referring to dresses as robes (unless you actually mean robes then idk) in which case you should be ok to be out in public but if you aren’t in a safe place, try looking for ways to get out, I know it’s not easy but it isn’t impossible either.
Lol I remember when I was at that point a few years ago. I was super worried about it but then COVID happened and I didn’t have to go outside for any of it…
Congratulations on coming out! I remember when I first came out to a friend and then she was like “What!!!” and I was really worried for a second until she said, “No way, I’m trans too!”.
Also I’m wondering if maybe the reason she froze is because she thought that you were going to ask her out, especially with the place and moment where you said “I have something to tell you”.
Who knows what she thought but since she’s taken and she knows you know that she probably didn’t think that. It’s probably just the substances then lol.
Hey everyone, first time posting. Hoping there are others with similar experiences who can share insight, but at minimum I want to put my thoughts down....
Are they really your family and friends if they aren’t going to love you for who you are? The other week I heard Eric Andre say “The people who mind don’t matter and the people who matter don’t mind.” Which I think is a fantastic saying that I am now holding on to for the rest of my life. I know how hard it is to keep pretending. Even though I am on HRT and present femme most of the time, I still boymode at work since I live in an area that leans conservative and most of my clients are older or elderly. I’m thinking of just up and quitting soon because it’s hard to take it but it would also leave me without income.
I guess what I have to say is that, it’s really hard to be someone you aren’t. Just live your life the way you want and the people who genuinely love you will stick around. I don’t want you to feel like you have to come out; you should do it when it feels right for you. I know I was forced into coming out cause my Mom found my femme stuff and it was pretty difficult at first but she eventually came around and we have a good relationship now.
I suggest that you consider coming out to your wife. Maybe take baby steps and ask her how she felt about cosplaying as a lesbian couple or something. I know it is very difficult to keep pretending and it just gets harder and harder unless you do things to make it easier.
spoilerIve kinda considered quiet quitting mg transition, I feel like few take it serrious, and my friends that do it feels like they are just being nice to me cause they feel bad that my dreams just are not possible. At this point ive kinds reached the idea that I’ll just boymode forever and hope they silently change my ID...
I was overweight when I started hrt too. Your fat can still redistribute. The fat you have isn’t going to move on its own and that’s the case for everyone. In order to get fat to move you need to lose it and then gain it again. I started dieting and exercising after I got on HRT and I lost a lot of weight from my waist and that’s already made me feel more feminine.
Yeah. My understanding as well is that weight fluctuates throughout the day which slowly causes weight redistribution. I neglected to mention it just because it is a very slow process and I find exercising to be a better way to get weight redistribution instead of just waiting.
Losing weight while on T is going to cause your body add/remove weight in masculine areas. It’s much better for you to stay on HRT while losing weight so that way you end up with a feminine figure.
Yeah I can definitely relate to that. I was extremely depressed in my teens and I did not really care about my body until I got HRT. Fortunately, I accepted myself a lot sooner, but I think it’s cause the thought that I am woman pushed through all the sludge in my brain and once it got to the front it wouldn’t stop screaming at me. I do wish I realized a lot earlier, when I was just a little kid. I had lots of signs and I also felt very lost until I realized why. Even though I like my life now, I feel like it would be a lot better if I had lived as my true self a lot sooner.
I’m looking for other transgender people to be friends with. I used to be antisocial but now that I have been on e for a few months I feel so much better and I want to find some friends to play games with like Minecraft, Terraria, and Spelunky. I don’t really know where to make friends but doing it locally isn’t an option...
Yeah I don’t have as much time as I used to either. I gotta write a paper today after I get home from work, but if you have a discord, I’ll join and we can talk sometime later if that’s fine.
Lemme prephrase this with one simple comment: I have absolutely no idea what I am doing and this entry into the Fediverse is about to be a total trainwreck....
I was shy for a long time, so I understand how it is. If you ever feel like playing Minecraft with someone just let me know but if you don’t that’s okay too.
I remember when I was a young tween I saw trans porn on a shock-site that my “friend” directed me to. It was apparently supposed to disgust me, but I actually liked it and that is when I started to realize that I am trans, but I repressed it until I was 16 because I lived in a conservative area and all I heard for years was negative stuff and it really did a number on my mental health.
I did also see other stuff like eel soup (I think that is what it was called) and I looked up a video of someone commiting suicide after my mental health went down the drain. I also saw uncensored decapitation on the front page of reddit a few months back, so far I am glad I haven’t seen stuff like that on lemmy yet.
18+ Tips for HRT prep?
How do you do, fellow ladies?...
Getting super emotional and depressed on a monthly cycle?
So for the past few months, usually near the beginning of the month, I will have a few days where I am super depressed and emotional. Today is one of those days. It started off with me waking up crying at 2 am for no reason and I was literally sobbing for 2 hours before I was able to fall back asleep. Then I waking up, I felt...
[TW: Hate] How have you dealt with real life experiences of hate and transphobia?
Recently I have been struggling a little trying to accept and prepare for the consequences of coming out and exposing this very sensitive part of myself to the world. With the increase in hate crimes and anti-trans sentiment it is a very scary idea....
Stay out of toxic communities rule (sh.itjust.works)
How it feels to come out
Greetings...
After the last male fail, went out boy mode again, also surprise visit from my mom and grandparents (i.pinimg.com)
This time I decided I should probably conceal carry. I’ve done it before, so it’s not like I don’t know what I’m doing, or am generally unsafe with a firearm. I went to the bar I used to cook for, and after I got in, this hick just loudly proclaimed every minority by slur they didn’t like and wished them all dead. He...
thrift storule
https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/pictrs/image/c53ee259-8021-4fad-bbf5-173c46709e64.jpeg
My mom keeps being weirdly partially supportive?
CW...
Vocal training - Technical vs Practice?
Hiya, I hope everyone is having a comfy weekend (:...
A few questions about HRT
So a lot of the changes that are introduced by taking estrogen sound pretty cool. Kinda goes without saying in this community, but I’ll say it anyway, and you can’t stop me....
[tw:dysphoria; self-harm] Coming out to my parents was probably not a good idea
So last week I came out to my Parents and my Grandma....
[TW: dysphoria][support] Need advice on my dysphoria struggles. (kbin.social)
Sorry in advance for the depressing thread, but I don't have anyone in my life with trans experiences and I need advice on what I'm feeling....
D, S, B and rule (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
Got gendered correctly by a stranger for the first time today!
Went to get a prescription today (not hrt, a different drug) and this guy tried to cut the line and the pharmacist said “sir, she is in line next” and it made me sooo happy. (And then I was sad that I had to use my legal name to get my script, but overall happy for getting gendered correctly)
My first Appointment went really well
So some other girls in this community mentioned that they had their first appointments regarding transgender questions and such, and so did I....
Wanting something desperately but not ready now?
I think I’m struggling a bit on my self acceptance....
Tall girls, how do you dress, and related questions
I just started to wear some fem-clothe at all. So I have some question fore more experienced girls....
coworker rule (sopuli.xyz)
Is it possible for E and T levels to be fine but get zero results due to issues in your endocrine sustem
I’ve been wondering if the reason I’ve only seen small results after nearly two years is that while my levels are fine by body can’t do what it’s supposed to. And if that’s the case should I just quit hrt
I feel so bad now that i started wearing, at home,
Hello there,...
Growing my hair, I seem to be now entering... The Awkward Stage™
Good thing winter is on its way, so I can cover it up when I have to go outside....
Smoothest Coming Out Experience Possible
This weekend I was camping at a faire with some friends, and resolved to tell the last person in my friend group about my transition....
Indefinitely forgoing transition
Hey everyone, first time posting. Hoping there are others with similar experiences who can share insight, but at minimum I want to put my thoughts down....
estrogen appreciation post rule
I love estrogen
deleted_by_author
Home after bottom surgery.
Had surgery at Rush in Chicago. Ask me any questions you have....
How do I cope with the idea I'm unattractive and that's unlikely to change CW NEGETIVE POST
spoilerIve kinda considered quiet quitting mg transition, I feel like few take it serrious, and my friends that do it feels like they are just being nice to me cause they feel bad that my dreams just are not possible. At this point ive kinds reached the idea that I’ll just boymode forever and hope they silently change my ID...
Trying to cope with finally having regrets
First off, I’m fine, I’m in a good place, safe, etc. This is just kinda stream of consciousness, so sorry in advance....
Where to find friends?
I’m looking for other transgender people to be friends with. I used to be antisocial but now that I have been on e for a few months I feel so much better and I want to find some friends to play games with like Minecraft, Terraria, and Spelunky. I don’t really know where to make friends but doing it locally isn’t an option...
Um. hi?
Lemme prephrase this with one simple comment: I have absolutely no idea what I am doing and this entry into the Fediverse is about to be a total trainwreck....
You had unrestricted access to the internet as a child, didn't you? (iusearchlinux.fyi)