Today we learnt...
platysalty, Alright how many of you in here trying to make your dick fart right now?
ipkpjersi, Technically if you get a fistula you can shit out of your dick.
I wish I didn’t know that, and yet I do.
kamenlady, 
And now, we all know too
Fistula would be a great name for a porn character though.
Dream_state, The old witches kiss
cyber_kalashnikov, 
In Portuguese Brazilian this has this exact name! Wow!
telllos, Same in French, le baiser de la sorcière.
greyscale, 
Its neptunes kiss when you let a turd go and water shoots back up your asshole from the splash.
metallic_z3r0, illustration: youtu.be/_eTsrtZdAJc
ThrowawayPermanente, I don’t know what I was expecting
Darkassassin07, 
theangryseal, Ok. Alright.
Damn.
Let me eat it in peace boys.
Brrrrrnnnnt!
Mercival, My friend told me of the horror of your menstrual cup falling into a public toilet. I’d take licking the bowl over that shit any day of the week.
dream_weasel, Just leave it.
Madbrad200, Please don’t
Someone will either have to clean it up for you anyway or it goes down the drain and contributes to your local drainage problems
thawed_caveman, This is why you keep spare pads or tampons or we.
The one day you don’t have them, that’s when the worse will happen
TheLowestStone, 
Relax guys. We all know girls don’t fart.
TheWoozy, I can tell you haven’t met my GF.
WhyIDie, I’m now equal parts envious, fearful, and in awe at women’s capability to weaponize much more destructive dutch ovens than men.
bingbong, The dreaded double dutch
aaron_griffin, 
Don’t put fish in a dutch oven
Old_Fat_White_Guy, Instructions unclear… just shit in Koi pond while attempting to Dutch oven a fish.
ininewcrow, 
God: this is why I made everything a sin.
ZombieZookeeper, As a man, I fold.
Son_of_dad, I’m a guy and I’ve had those farts that escape up between your leg and balls and pop out the top
gonzo0815, Is it ok to like those?
maiskanzler, Whatever tickles your pickle.
Pyroglyph, 
Fuck you, well done.
Son_of_dad, I’m 39 and they make me giggle like an idiot
4am, Slouching at the PC gets me every time :(
Dick_Justice, 
Why did I learn how to read?
VanillaGorilla, Society forced you. Time to burn it all down.
ElBarto, I knew I was right to blame society for everything!
Donttaintmebro, It’s a terrible day for rain.
Fuck_u_spez_, Because you had better parents than Jared, 19.
balderdash9, You can un-learn easily enough: here’s a ball-peen hammer
ininewcrow, Alcohol … Lots and lots of alcohol over many years does the same thing
Darkassassin07, Only two cures to a hangover: Don’t start, or don’t stop.
dodgy_bagel, Had both.
Don’t recommend either.
crazyminner, 
As a trans woman, both suck yes.
cyber_kalashnikov, You are qualified to tell which is worse
1847953620, If you’re not gonna tell us which is worse, what’s the point of life?
crazyminner, Definitely the fart one. Feels so weird and gross. The other one was just kinda gross and cold/wet feeling, but you could ignore it.
TheLobotomist, 
Can some woman confirm this is legit? Seems very hard to believe
RaptorMother, It is… And honestly, I can’t tell which one is worse. I will say, the first time it happened, I was terrified, thought something was wrong with me
TheLobotomist, Probably the fact that you gave birth to a raptor had something to do with it…
Drusas, (edited ) I'm a woman and also find it hard to believe. Definitely has never happened to me. I can't imagine it's common.
Dantpool, 
My roommate’s a woman, and has confirmed that this happens
FollyDolly, 
Am women is legit. It happens.
kevinbacon, 
W-what?
BonesOfTheMoon, It’s true.
moonsnotreal, 
Ok I guess we both have it bad
GrammatonCleric, 
A fart is nowhere near as bad as the inside of a dirty toilet 😅
captainlezbian, I’ve had both happen, yeah both suck
SexualPolytope, 
How?
TaleOfSam, 
Life's wild, my friend
TheHottub, 
Sack fold
HerbalGamer, Sack Fold new bandname called it!
TheHottub, First album titled: Pinch & Roll
kamenlady, First single: Hanging around the corner
Walk_blesseD, 
Some of us go from having one set of bits to having a different set of bits.
DeusHircus, Someone’s never had their balls shaved as smooth as a Christmas ham. You can definitely get bubbles floating up past your balls, but it takes a decent amount of sweat and a complete lack of hair
ininewcrow, I think I’d rather have my junk hanging outside my body than to have a fart do a 180 on me
Scrof, At least we can all relate to water splashes.
Mongostein, Oh man I had diarrhea in a porta-potty a couple weeks ago and got some splash back. I was not a happy camper.
Dick_Justice, Was it almost full or something? Usually the… stuff… is pretty far below the seat
persolb, That diahrea might have been extra energetic; falling at faster than terminal velocity
4am, Yeah you know those slow motion videos of the water droplet that bounces up from the surface tension?
Well, that. At scale.
Mongostein, Oh yeah it was super energetic
papajohn, I call bullshit. No one survives the blue touch.
Boddhisatva, Neptune’s Kiss…
OutlierBlue, Cold water splashing on our buttholes is the great gender equalizer.
xpinchx, Poseidon’s Kiss™️
HulkSmashBurgers, Lol (not porn, but on redgifs because nsfw I guess?) www.redgifs.com/watch/unhealthylivelybarbet
CannedTuna, A perfect example of something that should be tagged NSFW, but isn’t porn.
drem, If you live in europe or asia (i think) then probably not
khannie, 
Continental Europe maybe. On the islands ye be gettin’ Poseidon’s kiss.
JimmyDean,
dzervas, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
Sharkwellington, Big ball problems 😩
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