LemmyKnowsBest

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LemmyKnowsBest,

Jail? You seriously hope to go to jail for this? I don’t think you understand what crime is.

LemmyKnowsBest,

would be even better if those toasters were the actual shape of missiles.

LemmyKnowsBest,

wise words spoken can never be wrong.

LemmyKnowsBest,

But only fancy kitchens have power outlets on the ceiling

LemmyKnowsBest,

raise your hand if you’ve ever had 15 minutes of fame. And tell us about those 15 minutes of fame you had.

LemmyKnowsBest,

sure, accept that fame!

LemmyKnowsBest,

Over the past few years I’ve chosen to ignore it entirely. Peace of mind restored.

LemmyKnowsBest,

i hate capitalizing

LemmyKnowsBest,

I’m sorry to burst everyone’s bubble but this doesn’t make sense. The average person is not pregnant. Therefore the average person does not have more than one skeleton in their body.

LemmyKnowsBest,

by the way, I’ve always been subconsciously curious but never asked anybody, what happens when we click “ok yes I accept cookies?” And What happens if we click " not ok, I don’t accept cookies?"

How often to you bail on a half-written post or response?

I have had a tendency since my earliest days on social media where I will get halfway or more through a response, and end up just cancelling it. Sometimes I feel like I’m just being to over the top with snark or otherwise don’t want to be that kind of person, but a lot of the time I’ll decide I just really don’t care...

LemmyKnowsBest,

i do this increasingly often lately.

LemmyKnowsBest,

Yeah it’s always a sting scam 😔

LemmyKnowsBest,

Playlist? I have no more mental energy for a playlist.

screaming in my head

LemmyKnowsBest,

Is this a contest for best comment? 🏆

LemmyKnowsBest,

Imagine having to finger your instrument every time you wanted it to play music.

~ The woodwinds group

oh… wait …

LemmyKnowsBest,

Morocco

LemmyKnowsBest,

Texans are so full of themselves they think Texas is a country.

LemmyKnowsBest,

Anything more you are interested in?

Yes. How do you use touchscreens when your flippers are so cold?

LemmyKnowsBest,

Pretty sure I’ve already earned that distinguished epitaph, last box to check is the death part, PLS COME SOON

LemmyKnowsBest,

Not a fair comparison to us non-drugged people because apparently crack cocaine is quite energizing & makes people highly -driven to get shit done.

Just a buncha normies here wallowing in existential dread & unshakeable procrastination.

LemmyKnowsBest,

“We’ll take care of you - this was the stuff that Michael Jackson was on.”

“…wait what?”

Reminds me of that time in 1989 when I was a little girl, going under general anesthesia, the last thing the doctor asked me was “Do you like Bill Cosby?”

Yes read into it all you want. I do. This really happened.

LemmyKnowsBest,

Well yeah but here’s the thing. In 1989 The Cosby show was at its peak popularity and in 1989 very few people if anyone knew that Bill Cosby had been sedating & raping women in his free time. I was a little girl & watched the cosby show every week on TV, it was a great show portraying a great family, bill seemed like a model father and model citizen, he portrayed a doctor on the show.

My surgical procedure at the time took place in Long Beach California which isn’t far from Hollywood, and in retrospect, based on that weird question my anesthesiologist asked me just as I was going under,

I have a feeling that he may have known what Bill Cosby had going on behind the scenes. Because WHY ELSE WOULD HE HAVE ASKED ME SUCH A CREEPY QUESTION AT SUCH A SPOOKY VULNERABLE MOMENT

And the only reason I vividly remember him asking me that was because I only had a brief moment to contemplate his question and formulate my thoughts and response, and my first thought was “that’s a weird question but yeah I guess Bill Cosby is a great guy, good TV show” MY DAD EVEN HAD A BILL COSBY BOOK ON HIS BOOKSHELF 🤦‍♀️But all those thoughts took a fraction of a second and I had no time to reply to his question before I went unconscious.

LemmyKnowsBest,

I’d be worried if Panda Express had to close down and change their name quarterly every time they had a health inspection.

LemmyKnowsBest,

I dunno but when I’m walking around in public And I feel like people are looking at me and judging me, I pretend to be fascinated by something up and to the left so if anyone looks at me, it redirects their attention to something else. ⭐ Social Anxiety Life Pro Tip ⭐

LemmyKnowsBest,

LSD is illegal because the government doesn’t want their working class plebeians to be happy and enlightened. we’d stop being obedient little work slaves if we were happy and enlightened.

LSD is reserved for the enjoyment of the people who make the laws. They are above the law so they can do whatever they want & enjoy life.

LemmyKnowsBest,

I love melatonin. It’s gentle and natural. I guess I stopped buying it years ago because my husband took it all.

LemmyKnowsBest,

The crowd roaring in the stands excited about the fog mishap. Understandable how the goalie might misinterpret the sounds of a partying crowd.

LemmyKnowsBest,

that might be the novelty value of it but I doubt it cost much when it was new.

LemmyKnowsBest,

bed bath & beyond has risen from the dead, but they’re only online now.

i used to spend hours browsing through those magnificent real-life stores.

LemmyKnowsBest,

ooh I didn’t know that! someone without insurance rear-ended my vehicle but I chose not to pursue it because then my own insurance rates would’ve gone up. But heck I didn’t know I could have gotten a house out of it 😄 okay but judging by the state of that guy, I doubt he had a very glamorous living situation.

LemmyKnowsBest,

Honestly I doubt he had even THAT much going for him ☹️

LemmyKnowsBest,

Huh ok that’s good to know

If you had a one-way ticket to Jan 1, 1999 that departs on Jan 1, 2024, and you are allowed to bring whatever fits into a backpack with you, what would you bring to use to take over the world, and how would you use it? (kbin.social)

Assume that the future can change based on your actions, so any historical information that you bring along with you from the intervening 25 years may quickly drift out of the new realities history....

LemmyKnowsBest,

I would have no inclination to take over the world. But if I could go back to that date, I would make a million different decisions over the next few years to steer my life in a much wiser direction.

LemmyKnowsBest,

maybe you should unsubscribe to anything that keeps filling up your front page with such things.

That’s what I do. I don’t see anything that I don’t want to see.

LemmyKnowsBest,

This morning I read some statistic that approx 73% of all internet traffic is bots & shills.

So that might have something to do with this phenomenon you’re experiencing.

You must pick a point in human history before the 1950s to be spend the rest of your life in. What era and place would you choose?

You would still have the same age, gender, personality, skin color, etc. and you would be able to speak at least one local language and would know basic information of the era and place. Your family, social standing, and such would be randomly picked.

LemmyKnowsBest,

If I could speak the local language and know basic information about the era and place, I would join the Navajo people from whence 12.5% of my DNA originated because I identify with that the most, it’s strong in me. I feel like a fish out of water currently. I would be so happy with them. In fact I was recently in Arizona and I wanted so much to join the Navajos but I know it doesn’t work that way. You have to be born in there in order to assimilate.

And I’d choose a point in history long before they were conquered by Europeans. I don’t want to deal with any of that traumatic massacre bullshit.

LemmyKnowsBest,

I experimented with those food delivery services in 2019 and 2020 when I was wealthy and it was a new novelty, then I stopped being a lazy rich bitch and I go out and get my own food now.

LemmyKnowsBest,

This is one tier above having no more fucks to give.

LemmyKnowsBest,

My childlike mind visuaized two things about that:

  1. something about a literal peach
  2. that impeached meant he was in so much trouble that he’s being removed from presidential offfice, and VP Al Gore would step in as president.

🍑

LemmyKnowsBest,

She has composed herself with such dignity and grace All these years and she articulates the whole debacle so well including all the political and social implications involved, and so relatably and so intelligently. How can we not respect her

How did Lemmy World become the default instance?

World was already the biggest by far when I first started lurking back in July, and it’s just getting more dominant. Before, there was quite some diversity in the distribution of generic communities, but nowadays the vast majority of posts that reach the top are from over there....

LemmyKnowsBest, (edited )

I tried for 2 months to join all kinds of instances and they were all silent & unresponsive. .world is the only one that responded and finally worked.

LemmyKnowsBest,

And this is my favorite comment for it

record scratch You’re probably wondering how I got here.

LemmyKnowsBest,

I find this amusingly humorous.

and not so much a superpower. More like a disability. Wouldn’t be able to walk anywhere and would have to resort to living in a wheelchair.

LemmyKnowsBest,

All I need is $1,000 a month to completely survive.

Can anyone else feel sensations in their brain?

Last time I checked there aren’t nerve endings in our brain, so it should be impossible to feel sensations in my brain. However, at random times during my life, like seeing the plot twist in Fight Club for example, I’ve felt feelings in my brain. I just felt it again now while doing some intense introspection, and I just...

LemmyKnowsBest,

I have a feeling the motorcycle helmet helped more than you realize. Because you’re still alive.

LemmyKnowsBest,

Yikes So the impact tore the helmet off your head, and your head got run over by a car? yeah I think you’re a cat with nine lives. Glad you’re still with us.

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