Being autistic is like walking into a room where everyone is playing an elaborate form of chess. The players think you're one of them and whisk you into a game before you can explain, then get upset when you break the rules, then refuse to let you stop playing.
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic oh, but once you start trying to figure out the rules they pull out a ruler and smack you with it every time you try to ask a question about the rules. Then when you start loosing in a way that makes no sense to you they take away your chair and clothing as an "incentive" to get better at the game no one will explain to you. And if you try to point out this is unfair they lock you on the fire escape until you've learned not to say things that they don't like
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic "Honestly, I don't know much about autism. Is there anything specific you'd like me to know? Should I shift my expectations at all?"
A rather interesting thing to do is explain you are Autistic to someone but only don't use the word ‘Autistic’ and just say "neurological" and watch how seriously they take you until you tell them it's Autism.
Yes, it can be taken as flirty, for example. It's one of these stims that can be misunderstood.
I will add that you don't have to stop. Please keep your stims as they are. It's not healthy to change them (except if they are harmful, like self injuring).
@Susan60@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic The word 'accused' is really interesting in your toot — it points to the strong feelings that can emerge when we are trying to communicate and it's not going well.
I think it's useful to treat it as a dialogue that we are actively negotiating rather than a delivery of information at some level of detail or other.
@engagedpractx@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic I think you’re right about the strong feelings, but in this case coming from the other direction, when someone is offended that I’m stating the obvious, assuming that I think they’re stupid. I don’t often state the obvious, but occasionally do so when I’m not sure if it’s obvious to everyone, or just me.
I'm autistic, so I guess it's natural that I will never, ever be able to understand exactly when is the correct time to add my point to a group conversation.
Watching the conversation move onto a totally different topic, while a really good point is left unsaid, is a very specific autistic sadness.
Hi, my name is Adam and I'm Autistic. To have a following of now over 2400 of you, I feel quite humbled that you're interested in what I have to say.
I try to make it as open as possible so people can share what they want to say too as that's important.
I'm quite taken back by all the people that do comment on my posts. I love the feel of genuine sense of community here. Its wonderful to see a community here almost within my posts.
The WORST thing about this is that autistic people can be bad at communicating, sometimes for the same reasons as everyone else and sometimes for our own reasons. We simply don't deserve to be blamed for every misunderstanding or expected to fill 100% of the gap by ourselves.
I always feel like if there's a misunderstanding or other communication problem devoid of any deliberate manipulation by any one party, it's best explained as an issue of the whole system.
Yes, there is a mismatch somewhere but assuming it's the fault of any one party is a great injustice to them.
That Autistic moment, when, after you have finally managed to get out of the house, you get stuck being "out of the house" and struggle so hard to switch gears and go home.
If you’re an autistic person and you need to leave an event because of sensory overload/overwhelm: it is not a personal failure on your behalf, it’s an accessibility failure on their behalf.
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic Not every autistic person has the same triggers, and that goes for whatever else is fuelling a person. Folk need to look out for themselves as nothing could ever handle the needs of everyone.
sure, a very convenient stance to take. Why bother trying to be kind and inclusive. As autistic people, we’ve all encountered far more than enough of this, and I personally know what to do when I come across it.
Autistic people may be turned off a food item or product if the packaging changes, even if the item remains the same in substance. This may be because consistency is important to us, and packaging is the face and vibe of an item; a packaging change is a big change to many of us.
@AutisticAdam@ashleyspencer@actuallyautistic I've been living with someone I love (or, at least I think this is what we call love) for ten years. It's.... really hard, and, after ten years trying to act "normal", I think I'll have to live on my own again, for my own personal mental health.
Similar. Not aro, but demi. I can take it or leave it. I think I have the right to be a little selfish. Not that I consider having my needs met selfish, but a lot of people in my past have treated it that way.
As an autistic person, I would feel uncomfortable judging anyone for their facial expressions. There are many reasons why I dont. I know what it’s like to be truly unable to control your facial expressions, and receive criticism from others for looking smug, angry and/or looking miserable, when infact you’re not.
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic And of course some people make it their business to tell me that smiling is an easy way of being polite and it does not cost anything, so why not just make everyone happy and smile more 😺 .