There are a lot of people who say they don't want to be defined by being Autistic, but honestly, I wish I could go back to every adult who thought I was rude or lazy, and explain to them that, I was doing the best I could, with limited understanding I had of myself.
I see this as mostly their problem, because their upbringing is so based in conformity and obedience. My expression of individuality would trigger vague but horrifying fears that caused them to treat me in angry ways.
Which I hope they regret now, being older and wiser, but so many of them just grow older.
It’s really weird how many people truly believe that Autistic people are lying about not understanding things as if we like to purposely be confused and misread situations for fun.
It’d be so helpful for autistic people if social interactions were like The Sims and there were relationship bars that could confirm our relationship status with each person and how they feel about all of our interactions. We could pattern-spot and avoid various social landmines. Sounds like an autistic dream to me.
Part of autistic masking was feigning understanding. I did this in conversation and in my school years. I nodded in agreement or gave a filler response so people would not know I was confused & that I struggled. I wasn't aware but did this so others would like me.
This ultimately hurt me because it kept me from assessing what I needed to know and it made people more upset when they would inevitably find out that I did not know. I did this to protect myself.
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic we do a lot of things to protect ourselves. Often these things make sense at the time and place where they form, but years later they can become problamatic.
It's also a trauma thing.
The autistic urge to believe you don’t take things literally, because it is said that autistic people take everything literally, and you only take some things literally - not everything - with one of the things you take literally being the word “everything” (in this context).
I take what you say at face value, but that doesn’t mean I don’t notice dishonesty. I think you’re cool, but I will probably place my sense of morality ahead of our friendship.
I need a lot of time alone, but this isn’t because I dislike you. I just need time alone in order to recharge. I read all comments but find it too much to reply to all.
I like to receive all the details you can give. My brain won’t naturally intuit what most people’s brains intuit.
A strange part of being autistic is getting in trouble for your facial expressions, tone of voice, not inferring things you haven’t been told, & somehow implying things you haven’t implied. It can feel like people get offended by stuff that’s unavoidable & beyond our control.
You're basically getting in trouble for what others are reading in between the lines because they're making assumptions that are only valid for the people they're used to dealing with.
@GreenRoc@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic I got accused by my rental manager of wanting to control the parking lot because I was complaining about uninspected overly loud vehicles parking outside my bedroom window when they live in a different building, when our lease says all the vehicles have to be in proper working order and legal, and we have quiet hours between 9 PM and 7 AM.
The ruling class will do anything to get out of doing their job properly. Literally anything.
My first and instinctive reaction is to take what people say at face value, but that doesn’t mean I won’t process it further. Often, I take things at face value but then process them for a few more seconds/minutes and land upon what the person really meant. 1/2
I might initially interpret a sarcastic “thanks for all your help!” as a genuine expression of appreciation for my efforts, but my brain will likely reflect on it for a while and eventually realise the person was dissatisfied with my help and being sarcastic. 2/2
@roknrol@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic I have a load of plastic food pots I was repurposing as plant pots, but now I don't have the time/spoons for gardening... and also not the spoons to sort and clean them for recycling so they're just taking up space.
Autistic people are called robotic and said to treat others like objects, yet we tend not to follow social rules like manuals or expect people to perform on cue. We invite authenticity, individuality and depth. We’re far from robotic, and we treat people with care and compassion.
Autistic people are often attracted to one particular line in a song and will sing that one line aloud or in their brain for days, possibly in the singer’s accent. This may be considered a form of stimming, as well as a form of echolalia.
I know he feels it when I scratch the itches he can't reach, and when I snuggle him.
He comes up to me and paws at the part of his body he can't reach, so I know where to scratch.
I find it hard to put instructions and processes into the context other people assume I naturally infer. This tends to result in me thinking that instructions and processes are either: a one-time thing; or apply to every similar situation without exception.
I’ll often ask if this is not volunteered), because without this info I’ll either never follow them again or follow them every single time, and usually neither of these are the intended or optimal path.
I wish more non-autistic people knew and believed that autistic people who can seemingly do a lot of things. We may truly need to rest after doing them, may not be able to do them in quick succession, and may sometimes not be able to do them at all.
The lack of awareness and belief in this may stem from misbeliefs that: we find all of these things easy, and our executive function and energy levels are static. 1/2
Many of us find everyday life takes an inordinate amount of effort, due to all the additional processing our brains do, and our energy levels and executive function can be affected by many things: our stress levels, how overwhelmed we are, our mental and physical health and more. 2/2
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic No kidding, It's so sad to see a lot of non autistic people underestimate those on the spectrum, try to alienate them and treat them like garbage
The autistic urge to panic when someone says something might happen, as not knowing whether something scary will happen is usually worse than knowing for sure that it will, because if you don’t know, you can’t fully prepare yourself on an emotional or practical level.
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic
Sometimes your insights seem to me as self-insights more applicable to yourself; and, othertimes your insights give me food-for-thought and assist in enhancing my own understanding of my formative years. I suppose you are proving the "rule" that: "if you have met one autistic person then you have met ONE autistic person!" Anyway, sometimes I agree with you and othertimes I think more carefully because of your posts.