Being autistic means that I’m always either: incredibly suspicious and able to spot any potential danger or problem, or so naive that I practically run into red flags with open arms, as my brain hasn’t registered them. There’s really no in between for me.
Autistic people have a reputation for fearing change, yet non-autistic people typically fear any changes we suggest, even when those changes would actually help them. I think autists’ fear is simply expressed more, as we have extra variables to consider and change is rarely in our favour.
The Autistic urge to share your entire thought process when offering advice, so you can prove you’ve considered every variable and inspire people to have faith in what you say and not write off your opinion due to you being how you are.
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic I have the opposite of this. I will have the answer but can't explain how I got there. The answer often just seems obvious to me and needs no explanation. This is frustrating for all concerned.
@syllusg@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic I go both ways depending on the thing. Sometimes I have a whole thought process I will explain, other times I just know something like it comes from the depths of my brain somewhere.
The autistic urge to pack everything you own and bring it with you whenever you leave your home. You might only be going to the shop/mall down the road, but you’ll be prepared for an apocalypse.
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic actually, come to think about it, I might have taken this aspect if autism to the extreme. I have a caravan/camper trailer that I in all seriousness bring for when we are going for visits that require a sleepover.
I literally bring my own little house, and I love it. It’s homey and comfy, it’s solar powered and has a shower and a toilet, kitchen, seating area and double bed and tons of cupboards for all my stuff.
Does anybody else feel like your simply being "chucked under the bus" or "left to get on with it" because your an adult and not a child anymore with autism?!
I do feel like It does.
I understand this might well create abit of a backlash, but it's not necessarily something I have seen talked about on here.
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic On the topic of being "left to get on with it" my luck was a mixture of good, mediocre, and a good bit of self-made luck. I grew up knowing I thought about things and had the same learning style as my father. He took after his mother. She took after her father. I took family advice to form habits of doing things. The most difficult advice was when I started school as eldest child Dad said, "go out and find how they do things." I found out many are only guessing!
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic I can't speak to the autism part of this (though some in the community say I am so there's that) BUT!
I got very ill when I was a kid and as soon as I aged out of my (very bad) healthcare system of my country there was basically nothing. No one could/would help so basically yeah. You are but this means you have the ultimate freedom to do whatever it is you need to do to take care of you.
They already don't care about you so you might as well go for broke.
So, your house becomes a crammed and cluttered full of stuff. All for the sake of basic survival. It's not that you're a messy person by nature, in my case it's hidden away and under my bed. Lots of stuff.
It's that you don't have the privilege of buying EXACTLY what you need when you need it.
@servelan@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic after fleeing war, changing countries and temporary housings I realized that mine fades away when I’m actually running. The more settled I am, the stronger it gets
If someone in person tells me something bad has happened to them, my first response is to share a similar experience I have had, as a way to show solidarity and remind them they're not alone.
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic I also feel that response but with NT folks they treat it like a competition for who's had the worst experience. Mostly I just nod now and make commiserating noises.
@AutisticAdam
Is this a trait commonly associated with autism? I always assumed this style of communication was more a sign of the person being more empathetic than average. That, and or how communally minded vs individualistic the person is maybe plays a role? 🤔
Give her space, give her a pillow/sofa cushion to hit, instead. Talk to her about it when she's not having a meltdown, because she may not be hearing you when she is.
It helped us to all have a plan for what to do. Even the 8yo, if possible. They probably have no volition at that point? But if they are in on the plan it might help them. Maybe start the plan with, "Honey, you're having a meltdown."?
What helped us most was asking our daughter what we should do when she was in meltdown – but that was later.
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic them: I see you’re so shy, but you’re so clever at work, I would like to hear your thoughts on this casual topic. Me: no, you don’t. Them: it’s ok, I like you and want to be your friend, you can share with me! Me: starts honestly sharing just a tiiiiiny bit. Them: NOT LIKE THAT!!!
When asking an Autistic person to do something, attaching a time frame and defining who needs to do the task lets them know it’s a request & not a statement. This makes such a difference.
And most of the time, I’m already aware of the thing that needs to be done like a week before everyone else became aware and had been struggling to get it done ever since.
And god forbid I am the one to ask someone else to do something for me, even for our mutual benefit. Then suddenly I’m demanding something I’m very capable of doing myself. It’s as if society collectively decided I am capable of any known and yet unknown human endeavor, except for needing help.
@CynAq@actuallyautistic@anomalon@AutisticAdam
normalizing asking for help. That would make us all so much safer and more connected. It would enable everyone to unmask. so much healthier than competition.
He is wonderful and I love him. And he doesn't want to hurt me of course.
However, he also has this tendency to micro agressions. He avoids open fights at all costs (drives me crazy sometimes), but then he does this eye rolling etc and sometimes even uses manipulation. Was really shocked when I understood how he manipulates me.
This needs to stop. It's difficult to talk about this though.
It's not a good look when someone comes on here to tell the world they have a new autism diagnosis, only for autistic people to attack them for using the 'wrong words'.
Or when someone doesn't agree with words that you say about being Autistic because they don’t experience that themselves.
I don't like this. It feels really unpleasant to me.
There's no "right words" for how autism works The only commonality I have found with 50 years of living and 20 years of working with it is that the outside world sees you as different, and it is up to them to find and learn their comfort level.
Everyone has their own superpower as well as their own kryptonite That is how a spectrum works.
Unfortunately those with a strict definition, neurotypical and autistic, are those that make lives most difficult
subscription services that I forget I have and need to get around to cancelling, but at this point it's clearly by design, so it hardly counts.
instantly forgetting what I need to buy, and the specifications of those things, when I walk into a store and accidentally getting too few, too many, the wrong type, or additional things I already had