Anyone can be inquisitive, but many Autistic people are extra thirsty for knowledge and I love it. Unknown things that intrigue others for a few minutes become our hyper fixations, interests and areas of expertise. It’s like others want to know things, but we need to know things.
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic perhaps this explains those lost three months where I tested multiple ways to derive a tofu out of split peas. Ultimately, my conclusions were foiled by inconsistent variables in the age of dried peas from the local market. Results: not the same recipe as for soybeans. Presently, I am awaiting my next hyper fixation.
Loves books but does not have the mental stamina to sit and read a book from start to finish for hours on end. So instead consumes short-form content online for hours and hours.
Autistic people may appear ‘negative’, ‘pessimistic’ or ‘critical’ when sharing their thoughts or concerns about something, but usually we are just being realistic and helpful if we can.
Often, I have no clue what forms are asking or their instructions can be interpreted 5 different ways. I try to call for help if I can, but I have to hype myself up for it because I rarely do phone calls. If I can’t get help, I have to guess, and this rarely goes well.
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic
Filling out forms was easier in the pre-digitized days when I could put an asterisk or double-asterisk or triple-asterisk (and so forth) indicator for placing my interpretation of the numbered question with my full answer and background understanding onto pages of end-notes. I either numbered the pages or used one page for each footnoted/endnoted response. Digital now usually ends up with stock-answers gleaned from decades of learning, or more often ends with copious notes in hand and an hour of waiting on hold for a telephone call to get to a human because those chat text bots on those company websites cannot handle the wording of my reasons for calls. My stock-ending for such phone interactions with the human is for me to thank them for their time and patience in listening to and attempting to assist me with this call.
When people invite you to dinner/movie.. the chances are the activity is just an excuse to meet up and the real objective is to socialise. I find this endearing, for years I didn’t know this.
I used to automatically assume that the suggested activity was the main purpose of a meet-up. I thought an invitation to dinner meant that the predominant point of focus was the FOOD, or an invitation to watch a movie meant the MOVIE was the centrepiece of the night.
@ashleyspencer@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic That's a genuinely interesting interpretation difference (from allistic expectations). I must check in w my kids to see if they've picked this up.
My autistic brain’s aversion to surprises extends to gifts. I’m grateful when people think of me and want to buy me gifts, but 99% of the time I’d rather they didn’t. Surprise gifts or gifts in general
can carry great expectations and generally bring me so much stress that I derive little joy from them.
Even if its something I really like. Its the same when buying gifts for others too, I don't like it. I'm not being "tight with money" or lazy.
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic I personally love gifts from people I know. Usually I make lists around my birthday and xmas. I usually don’t like it as much when they go off script unless they know me really well
@twilwel@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic
It's been ages since anyone bought me a gift, except for my mother : a bottle of my favourite wine and a box of my favourite chocolates 😋
(And also money for Christmas "so you can but whatever pleases you", even if I'm in my late 40s and have a decent job)
All of those things, I struggle with also. I would like to not have unexpected gifts, because I struggle to meet expectations of typical expected responses/reactions.
Ive been accused of "treating [ex-friend] like [fecal matter]" according to one person's mother description of how i responded to a gift. I'd rather just ask for what I want, specifically, than add another unwanted item to my piles.
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic yes.
But any given plan is inherently meaningless since they never ever ever go as intended and the infinite necessary mitigations and adjustments are exhausting. Instead, just agree that Thing should happen. Then when it Stars Happening, I will manage all the required objectives to completion.
Also, I am not in charge of the Thing. Even if you’re all completely convinced I am.
"You can’t be autistic - you can make eye contact!”
Being autistic doesn’t mean I can’t make eye contact, rather that eye contact can be painful and overstimulating for me. Yet, I make it because I have to. If I didn’t, many would be hurt/angry, and I’d face further ostracism. Thanks for your pointless comment anyway from someone that clearly doesn't know what your talking about.
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic I like to make eye contact with people when in conversation, intermittent, looking them straight in the eye if they or I say someone particularly interesting, funny etc. If the conversation is an awkward one & I’m in a position of authority, eg teacher or parent (when my kids were younger), I look at them but don’t require them to look at me. (They often will if I express some empathy, compassion etc.) If I’m feeling vulnerable or ashamed, eye contact is difficult, but I imagine that might be common amongst NTs too?
Autistic people often feel tremendous guilt or fear even when they have done nothing wrong. This may be a trauma response to years of being made to feel like a bad person for being how they are or behaving what some people would say..differently.
Don't forget being blamed for things that aren’t their fault in the mix aswell.
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic there is also nothing like a sibling being attacked by someone blaming me for the attack, because i am not there to be attacked.
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic I feel this. Minor things like going out to places on my own for fun, or expressing myself are very hard due to inhibitions and overthinking and toxic shame. Really does diminish your QoL.
Many autistic people struggle with “multiple choice” and “select the right answer” exam questions. A key reason for this is that the options available can feel - to our brains - like such vague simplifications or awkwardly worded answers that they all feel somewhat incorrect. 1/2
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic funnily enough the AQ-test is a good example for this.
When I was diagnosed, they commented how I wrote little comments to most of the questions, pointing out the ambiguity or missing options. They later told me that commenting on the test is a very common behavior for autistic ppl.
Autistic people can be excluded from so many places and abandoned by so many people and then be criticised for spending so much time alone and doing things (by) themselves.
It’s giving “I don’t want to help you, and I don’t want you to help yourself either” energy.