klemptor

@[email protected]

don’t keep sweatin’ what I do 'cause I’m gonna be just fine

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klemptor,

Is there a known material* that lightsabers don’t cut? Serious question.

*Beyond that time Kylo Emo Ren had a hissy and attacked a console, that thing should’ve been way more damaged.

klemptor,

Helen is wearing socks with sandals. Helen don’t give a single phuck.

klemptor,

Nah, gotta go with soks - can’t have that redundant k in there!

klemptor,

Foot panties!! This is now canon, someone call Merriam-Webster!

klemptor,

Oh man I tried meditation with Headspace too and I couldn’t hack it. For some reason meditation made me so angry! Like this weird rage would come out of nowhere.

I did find it frustrating that the narrator would give a prompt for what to do, then just enough quiet time to begin, and then interrupt my effort with his talking. Aggravating! But the anger was a separate thing.

I always thought meditation was supposed to help you feel calm and grounded but all it did was frustrate me. :(

klemptor, (edited )

Ha, I’ve never heard hunt and peck called “chicken typing” before, I kinda like it!

I learned to type in junior high on a Wang (with the black and spinach-green screen), and our typing teacher would tape a piece of paper to the top of the keyboard. Our fingers went under the paper so that we couldn’t see what keys we were touching. It made you learn quickly to find your home row keys, and after that learning to type was pretty fun and painless.

Do kids not get a typing class anymore?

ETA: before my typing class I ‘taught’ myself on a Selectric at my mom’s office - man did I have to unlearn some bad habits!

klemptor,

Lol that’s really funny…I actually hate yoga too, but it doesn’t provoke rage, just annoyance because the last thing I wanna do is listen to some white lady done on about chakras! But for it to provoke anger in inmates is disturbing.

klemptor,

We’re pretty distant. I’m older but only by 17 months. I love my sister and wish her well but I don’t trust her enough to be close with her. Our mother really did a number on us and I have to be very careful what I tell her, because I don’t have any faith she won’t share it with our mom. And it’s a shame because if we could talk honestly I think we’d have a lot to commiserate on. As it stands we trade texts very occasionally, mostly focused on nostalgia for some TV show or game we played as kids. Never anything more personal than that. It’s usually months between texts.

Her dog died and I wanted to send a sympathy text, but my mother asked me not to because she wasn’t supposed to tell anyone the dog died… well then why on earth did you tell me!!!

We are two women in our forties still goosestepping around a difficult mom who I strongly suspect is borderline, and because of the way she treated us growing up, our sibling relationship basically became collateral damage.

klemptor,

Remodeling my bathroom, getting my hip fixed so I can go back to not skipping leg day, and possibly a trip to the Tetons.

klemptor,

Cool sub! I only know Outkast’s Hey Ya out of the songs you’ve analyzed but I thought the analysis was really interesting.

klemptor,

Then he hit me with a surprise left

klemptor,

I just knew this would be Husk Musk!

klemptor,

Yup this is why I got my tubes tied. Too much anxiety just relying on the pill!

klemptor,

Which medicine cabinet did you get?

klemptor,

Oh man it was a nightmare finding someone who would sterilize me. I was 24 when I started seriously looking, and I can’t tell you how many doctors told me I’d change my mind about not wanting kids (insert huuuge eyeroll here), and one doctor even said that he thought my boyfriend was forcing me into it and that I didn’t understand how permanent it was. Thankfully I did finally find someone to take me seriously but man, what a pain in the ass!

klemptor,

Yep - back in the day the LiveJournal childfree comm had a similar list which was really helpful!

klemptor,

Gowron

klemptor,

Goddammit this meme will not die

klemptor,

Blue jays are my faaavorite (next to my crowbros of course) 💙🖤

klemptor,

Two of my least favorite characters anyway.

THERE, I SAID IT.

klemptor,

All due respect but you can fuck right off homoludens

klemptor,

Why Philly, this city is really stupid the last few years

klemptor,

Awww Eleven 💙

klemptor,

Pushing Ice might be cool. His other stuff is so hit or miss for me.

klemptor,

It was the style at the time.

klemptor,

I think that’s a bit reductive. I know nothing about the gender identities of Justin Bieber or Miley Cyrus. What I do know is that I’m an Old and their ‘music’ sounds like overproduced pop crap to me. I don’t dislike them because it’s trendy or because of homophobia, I just dislike them because I find them obnoxious.

klemptor,

Fiestaware!

klemptor,

They put it in cigarette filters FFS!

klemptor,

Like jammies but fly

klemptor,

Obviously I don’t know them personally; obviously I’m talking about their public personas. I remember they each pulled a bunch of attention-seeking antics, and coupled with the shitty music it all just seemed very manufactured to gain fans, which yes, I found obnoxious. 🤷🏻‍♀️

klemptor,

My dude, you’re supposed to clean it. Get some liquid Dial and go to town. Make sure you dry it thoroughly afterward.

klemptor,

OK this is my favorite one so far

klemptor,

In undergrad we called that tornado because of how our Math Phys professor wrote it.

klemptor,

Alice Afterbirth is a great name for the placenta

klemptor,

Go tankless or go home baybee

klemptor,

What a beautiful lady or dude!

klemptor,

Not quite what you’re asking, but I still use my minidisc player.

klemptor,

Happy howl-oween you hipster ghost!

klemptor,

My forties have brought night sweats. If I don’t set the AC to 63° I wake up just absolutely drenched in sweat, it’s awful.

klemptor,

Thanks but I already know what it is - perimenopause!

At what age and how do you tell children about the truth of Christmas?

I’m writing this as someone who has mostly lived in the US and Canada. Personally, I find the whole “lying to children about Christmas” thing just a bit weird (no judgment on those who enjoy this aspect of the holiday). But because it’s completely normalized in our culture, this is something many people have to deal...

klemptor,

Ugh my sister believed until she was 10. When I pointed out that the labels were in mom & dad’s handwriting, she said Santa had a special pen that mimics other people’s handwriting (why? no idea). Like come on dawg you’re in the double digits now, you’ve gotta be smarter than this.

klemptor,

I smell everything. Dog’s noggin, the insides of books, my morning cup of tea. Everything gets a healthy whiff.

When I’m in the shower, I purse my lips and blow directly against the water coming down because it makes a nice sound.

When I’m reading, I rub the edges of the page I’m currently on super tightly between my thumb and index finger because I like the sound and the feeling. I also rub the tops of my nails when I’m wearing nail polish for the same reason.

klemptor,

I can totally see that

klemptor,

Oh I’m gonna hate myself for asking this but wtf is a swerf

klemptor,

Jesus christ. I’m learning that anything ending in “ERF” is probably something I’m not gonna like.

klemptor,

I love my better half dearly but I way prefer being the one to load the dishwasher, otherwise it’s just anarchy.

klemptor,

I got J&J the first time around and it made me sleep the rest of the day, just absolutely walloped me. But every booster I’ve had since then was super easy - no side-effects whatsoever except mild injection site soreness which went away in a day. I got the latest booster on Tuesday and by the end of the day I’d forgotten I even got it until I undressed for bed and saw the bandaid.

klemptor,

This is the literal definition of spoopy, haha:

Spoopy is an internet slang term used to describe something that is “spooky” but in a comical or cute way, such as a puppy in a ghost costume or a goofy Halloween video.

Bowie just being perfect as usual! 👻🐕🩶

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