fishidwardrobe

SeattleSanchez, 6 months ago to actuallyautistic

My mind has been obsessed with this video all day! So well laid out how our two parties became one since the 80s and 90s.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRc1uouD/
#ActuallyAutistic #politics @actuallyautistic

alexisbushnell, 6 months ago to actuallyautistic

A while ago someone on here mentioned how often #ActuallyAutistic folks have difficulty sleeping and that centering your sensory needs can help. They suggested ear plugs and canopy beds, along with weighted blankets and such.

Today I was finally able to hang my new (to me) canopy and I am sat in my bed right now and cannot even begin to tell you the joy I feel.

I don't remember who the person was who shared but thank you!!

@actuallyautistic

lulu, 7 months ago to actuallyautistic

There's a fallacy that I keep making and I think it's because I'm #ActuallyAutistic: When I reach a conclusion in my mind based on logical deduction, I wrongly assume that everyone else must have reached the same conclusion, since they have access to the same data and logic is universal... Then when I tell other people my thoughts, I introduce them with "you probably already know it, but I realized that ..."

@actuallyautistic

marenf, 7 months ago to actuallyautistic German

@actuallyautistic
Have any of you tried L-Tyrosine and/or L-Theanine to improve anxiety and memory with AuDHD? If so, how much did you take and did it help?
Any other supplements you can recommend?

lexx3000, 7 months ago to actuallyautistic German

question to @actuallyautistic
depressed ones, is the narrative "what a useless dumb shit you are, freak that shouldn't have been born" ever go away? i recently discovered that apparently it's not a thing always in a background for other humans. it seems to be forgotten when i hyperfocus on some random bullshit that brings joy, but what about you?

obrerx, 7 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic
#actuallyautistic
#ActuallyADHD
#ActuallyAuDHD

I haven't posted in awhile. I'm feeling so sad these days. My brother died, my last original family member. My parents died when I was in my 20s. I feel a strange aloneness.

I look at my life... what have I accomplished? And why does that matter?

I have no friends offline. I'm so disillusioned.

Empty. I want to find peace. I've not felt consistently a feeling of peace ever in my life.

No one would ever guess how hard it has been.

I haven't even understood how hard it has been for me.

Always struggling for emotional regulation, but outwardly seeming calm and in control (usually). Inwardly I'm always struggling. Always. What a paradox.

I'm tired of trying to understand why my life has gone as it has... why I was so misunderstood by mt family, why it has been such a struggle.

I'm weary of it all. I want to rest.

Why does this song speak for me so much? I want to sail "into the west"... off to a distant shore. I want to find some comfort somewhere... just some peace.

Into the West - from Lord of the Rings

Lay down
Your sweet and weary head

The night is falling
You have come to journey's end

Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before

They are calling
From across the distant shore

Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?

Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away

Safe in my arms
You're only sleeping

What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?

Across the sea
A pale moon rises

The ships have come to carry you home

And all will turn
To silver glass

A light on the water
All Souls pass

Hope fades
Into the world of night

Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time

Don't say
We have come now to the end
White shores are calling

You and I will meet again
And you'll be here in my arms

Just sleeping
And all will turn

To silver glass
A light on the water

Grey ships pass
Into the West

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoVaK2NXmJA

AutisticAdam, 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

"You can’t be autistic - you can make eye contact!”

Being autistic doesn’t mean I can’t make eye contact, rather that eye contact can be painful and overstimulating for me. Yet, I make it because I have to. If I didn’t, many would be hurt/angry, and I’d face further ostracism. Thanks for your pointless comment anyway from someone that clearly doesn't know what your talking about.

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic

Autistic_Writer, 8 months ago to random

Part 148: De-Manacled.
In this week’s blog, a look at freedom for autistic people. You can read it here:
https://darrenscothern.com/2023/10/22/part-148-de-manacled/

#Autism
#ActuallyAutistic

Dr_Obvious, 8 months ago to actuallyautistic German

@actuallyautistic
I've read autists don't understand proverbs and take them to literally. I wonder if this is actually an accurate description.
Some days ago I read somebody here stating something like the one eyed under the blind would've been put in an asylum. Brilliant!
In germany we have the proverb, everybody is the smith of their own luck. I like to answer, but not everybody got an anvil.

AutisticAdam, 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

The autistic urge to believe you don’t take things literally, because it is said that autistic people take everything literally, and you only take some things literally - not everything - with one of the things you take literally being the word “everything” (in this context).

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic

CynAq, 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

I remember a weird polemic I got into at kindergarten. This is late eighties.

I was already reading at a... I don't know what level. I never understood what "reading levels" were anyway, I mean, if I can read, I can read, right?

Well... Turns out none of the other kids apparently were able to read, at least not openly, and reading was actively discouraged by the staff there. There was a storybook hour where everyone picked a story book with illustrations and PRETENDED to read.

I found out when the teacher lady noticed I was actually reading the thing and pulled it away from me, telling me I wasn't supposed to actually read the book with, you know, words printed on it. The justification was "if you read now and get good at it, you'll have a terrible time being bored in first grade when all the other kids are still trying to learn."

Lady, I don't think you understand how reading works. I can't UNLEARN how to read once I learned it.

This is still within my top five unfathomable school experiences.

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

goaty, 8 months ago to random

one of my big problems in life is that i'm not good at motivating myself to do things. left to my own devices, doing things—even things i enjoy—is sporadic at best.

music, drawing, learning programming—all these things i'm interested in, but struggle to follow through on, & it's very frustrating. i need externally-imposed structure to get anything done.

i always struggled with homework, but my grades were great otherwise (honors, AP, etc). eventually i started doing my homework in school, cause i just wouldn't get it done at home.

& i don't really know what to do about this, which is doubly frustrating.

ScriptFanix, 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

Today, the addictologist told me it's usual for @actuallyautistic people to have some addiction or another. So please tell me, do you have one?

servelan, 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

“Nobody realizes that some people make Herculean efforts just to be normal.” --** **Blanche Balain #actuallyautistic @actuallyautistic

CynAq, 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

Wait wait… wait. Fuck! Wait…

Someone tell me Spock and Data aren’t attempts to be inclusive of autistic people in the arguably the most progressive franchise of its time, please.

They are, aren’t they?

#ActuallyAutistic
@actuallyautistic

Vincarsi, 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic @allautistics
I keep seeing people complaining about how Mastodon is full of "splainy reply guys" and I think there's a misperception of #Autistic #infodumping going on. I think there's more of us on here and we're more comfortable being ourselves. What will it take to get the allistics to understand that our contributions are offered in a mature "yes, and" spirit as opposed to the juvenile "well, actually" they seem to always read it as.
We're genuinely smart, not stuck up.

raantuva, 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

How to make and keep neurotypical friends as an Autist? Any ideas? I feel the lack of neurotypicals in my life is doing me harm. @actuallyautistic

sahat, 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

so, we have two different groups now. @actuallyautistic and @allautistics. I understand that not all autistic people were there when the discussion took place, that resulted in the #ActuallyAutistic hashtag.
In short: A lot of NTparents took over the discussion and steered it in a direction that was toxic to autistic people themselves, talking over them, not with them in a massively ableist way. Promoting harmful stuff like ABA and the like. A lot of that took place on Twitter. Hence the tag to make sure we speak to each other, not to people that want to help us eradicate the autism from ourselves or any such nonsense.
To new people it sounds a bit exclusive though. Hence the #AllAutistics hashtag, that plopped up. ActuallyAutistic is meant to be inclusive of all autistics, regardless whether they have a diagnose or whether they know for sure. As long as they are in it for themselves. And is also fine for people that want info and learn directly from the horses mouth, cus they have autistic loved ones, kids etc. (many blood related people are some kind of neurodivergent too, anyways, whether they know it or not). it says "actually" too exclude people that would be disrespectful towards Autstic people. That's all. But it's understandable that it does sound exclusive to some, without explanation. The new people are in that vulnerable phase where they question themselves a lot. Am I really autistic or am I just an imposter. We all had this phase and it can take years and maybe it never ends. I still have these moments of" Ohh whow, I actually have this trait also. It just looks different in me". Well . It always looks different. Cus we aren't all white males with stereotype autism and its highly individualized.There's a ton of autistic people running around that aren't diagnosed and probably never will be. Your chance at being diagnosed as a woman is maybe one in four, depending on where you live, your status, your skin color, your traits. Some traits are more often leading to diagnose than others. Imposter syndrome is the norm not the exception. That's why we often hear" if you wonder whether you are autistic or not, you most probably are". NT rarely wonder about this. And we've all been through this stage. And BTW no one cares if you change your mind or if you're insecure. It's absolutely fine. You're invited.
So. I think we should have one. having two is inconvenient. And most people still hang out in the ActuallyAutistic- one. So either you all feel invited or we think of a name, that includes both, the history and the new people that have arrived. Just sayin'. I know it's probably gonna solve itself by one of them attracting more people and then being the remaining one, but I just wanted to repeat about the history and I don't want new people to get confused over this. Just so you know: There was no disagreement. It's just a question of history moving on and flow of information from old to new not always being perfect. If we need a change of defining terminology that's fine, but let's not get confused or feel divided ok?
Maybe it's ok. to have two, maybe the AllAutistics helps find people that are in the same state of finding out. Whatever helps is fine. I'm just writing this out so no one has to feel confused or not welcome. And BTW, there is a reason why people write hashtags in CamelBack., that's much more readable to screenreaders. Love to you all.

StrassenKatze, 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

Pretty much my experience so far, lol @actuallyautistic

sahat, 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic @allautistics
#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD
i want to try a little bit of a resume after a few years of unmasking.
I've changed considerably. My style of masking had a lot to do with suppressing my own needs and being, nice - typically female socialization. It's a huge relief to untangle that an let it go. Ongoing process.
I have been confronted with rejection sometimes. I have to learn to navigate the apprehensive reactions when I'm obviously different and autistic. It's a style of being that I used to only observe in male neurodivergents, that I was close to. Its a rather new experience and as I let go of the pressure that made me mask, I undo a lot of subconscious decisions that I've made before I could even think properly. Probably in early childhood. That process also brings up fear sometimes. Like feeling exposed or insecure of what or who I am.
So I have to navigate both, not matching peoples expectations of how a woman should behave and not matching them as to how "normal" should be performed.The two masks are too intertwined to always know them apart. As a consequence I risk clashing with men much faster. I am even more acutely aware of their habitual ways to assert power in all these minor social ways... bit unsettling. It's a whole new set of skills to navigate that and figure out how much irritation will I cause when I do x and is that o.k., or do I make it easier for myself if I don't..Like learning a new social skill.
The core thing is that I have so much more awareness of what is really going on in me and what my wants and needs are. It's a different thing to play social as long as I have the conscious choice to do it or not do it. If you grew up masking, you don't have that. I feel I have taken it back.
life does not get easier.But also not harder. But my private life is freer and happier. And maybe life did not get easier because I'm still in the adjustment phase.I feel like these past few years of autistic unmasking were a transition and I am about to find anew form, I can move forward with. I have an inkling that it has also a lot to do with everything not getting easier right now. For most people.
I don't think I had a choice. Once I had started on this path, it just felt so right. It is healing. It is full of revelations. It brings me closer to my personal truth. But not everyone around you will like that change. But that is to be expected. Lately I feel, like if I'm putting my feet on the ground for the first time ever, properly. Like if some fog has cleared up. I'm more"in the world". Those lingering subconscious illusions of "I will magically become normal one day" are gone. My energy is more focused on reality as a consequence.
Spirituality is important to me. It may also have been a safe space and a bit of an escape where I could be as sensitive as I am. A flag to sail under and be neurodivergent AF without naming it. (seeing, feeling, experiencing things, inner realities , other dimensions, whatever you want to call it) I don't need the escape so much anymore. That changed my ways of expressing my inner perceptions. Like if I'm more certain about what place this has in my life and in my person.
One more important term is shame. There used to be this need to hide parts of myself and I did not even know why. Social embarrassment. And that is changing. It's still tough to be in those situations where I used to feel embarrassed so much, that I would mask it all away, and not do it. Not do the masking. Let it come up and dissolve in me instead. And navigate the social contact in a new way. It's a bit wild. But I like it.
How did your unmasking-journey go?

samiam, 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic so many thanks to those who have made feel feel heard and welcome here in the past weeks. the story thus far: 41 years of "muddling thru" depression, anxiety, misc mysterious health problems, etc when one day a new friend (very rare!) shared with me that they are autistic, and respectfully asked me if i might be too.
this [re]kindled lots of thoughts and feels and sent me down a path of recognizing and uncovering some fairly autistic-seeming traits and behaviors that i had been ignoring or suppressing. i have lately been thinking of myself as "provisionally autistic" which is how i'm trying to walk this line between, one the one hand, not mentally framing Autism As One True The Explanation For Everything and stretching things to try to force them to fit; and, on the other hand, not giving in to Autistic Imposter Syndrome. i want "provisionally autistic" to be a comfortable in-between place where i can "let myself be as autistic as i am" without "trying to be autistic when i'm not" and just observe myself and see how it goes. if that makes any sense?

but (and this is a question mainly to all you late/recent adult [self/]dx folks out there, but of course also anyone else who wants to respond):
How do you KNOW?
i'm stuck in this place where lots of things seem relatable and plausible but there is no sense of AHA IT FITS. there's no THIS FINALLY EXPLAINS IT. i know it's early for me yet -- i've been taking this seriously for weeks not years -- and i probably have to be patient with myself . . . but ggghhhghg.
maybe i'm just venting? i don't know. i'm having a day.

alexisbushnell, 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

Starting to fill out my Autism triage assessment paperwork and I don't have anyone whose known me since childhood I can get to talk to them - am I already screwed?

@actuallyautistic

JeremyMallin, 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

I wonder why there is a high comorbidity of #gastrointestinal issues and #Austim. 🤔

I myself have had strong acid reflux since my mid twenties.

#ActuallyAutistc
@actuallyautistic

nomadave, 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

I feel like I'm "acting" and feeling more autistic since I discovered myself to be autistic, and it's doing wonders for my imposter syndrome. (sarcasm)

As an example: I've felt more acute episodes of sensory overload in the last couple of weeks than I can remember having in... ever. And my life hasn't been exceptionally or abnormally busy.

Is it because I'm more aware of it now? Is it because I started ADHD meds and that has made my autistic traits more visible and obvious? Is it just the meds in general?

Is it just me feeling like this?

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

neuralex, 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

Do people think you’re mad [at them] when you’re just elaborating?

https://reddit.com/r/AutismTranslated/s/QcSjYltO02

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

AutisticAdam, 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

If someone in person tells me something bad has happened to them, my first response is to share a similar experience I have had, as a way to show solidarity and remind them they're not alone.

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife, 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic I thought I was going on a date today, but I think we've run into a situation that I used to run into, but I haven't run into in a while.

See, the last time we talked was Sunday, and we were talking about a date "next Wednesday."

Now, for me, "next Wednesday" is the Wednesday that hasn't come yet. So on Sunday, when we were talking about next Wednesday, I thought it was today.

Now, I know a lot of folks will reply. "Are you crazy??? If, on Sunday, your date wanted to talk about today, they would have said this Wednesday."

Haha... for me "this Wednesday" and "next Wednesday" are the same day, unless we happen to be on a Wednesday.

I wonder if it is just me, or an autistic thing, or what...

I haven't been able to clarify with my date, as he's been incommunicado since Sunday, which is not unusual, but I think we miscommunicated.

Oops...

#AskingAutistics

DivergentDumpsterPhoenix, 9 months ago to autisticadvocacy

If there were no barriers, and you had unlimited resources. What one thing would you do?

I would start an academic institution dedicated to the study and advancement of the neurodiversity paradigm and movement.

#actuallyautistic #autism #autistic #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #askingautistics #askingadhders

@actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy

johnnyprofane1, 10 months ago to actuallyadhd

For the growing community of #Autistic folks & allies on #subStack...

"Calm Down!" Why is this the WORST Advice You Can Give an Autistic Person?

I now publish all my articles, podcasts & artwork on #subStack too. Hit subscribe... let's keep in touch.

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

#ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #AuDHD #AutisticAdults #AutisticAcceptance #Neurodivergent

https://open.substack.com/pub/johnnyprofaneknapp/p/calm-down-why-is-this-the-worst-advice?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

AutisticAdam, 10 months ago to actuallyautistic

If an autistic person is in meltdown, give them time and space.

Do not continue to pester, criticise, shout or even judge.

I can't express how vital this actually is.

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic

caocancio, 10 months ago to actuallyautistic

@zenforyen @fishidwardrobe @actuallyautistic They are mostly the same. 😂 Just kidding! From my perspective, it's not a label. Whilst it won't change who you are, and the spectrum is immensely broad, it does offer some insights into patterns you might display. Some of these patterns are common. It's not about slotting into a category, it's about gaining insight.

zenforyen, 10 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic I'm not #actuallyautistic but I got #adhd diagnosed at 29, realizing that all cliche symptoms and diagnostic surveys are very superficial crap, lacking many subtle aspects.

I wonder, are the "cliche symptoms" for autism any good? E.g. can someone be autistic even if they can "read" other people just fine, and have no noticeable "special interest" or "rigid routines"?

Am I correct thinking this "special interest" thing must be rather persistent, like years/life long?

Thanks!

JeremyMallin, 10 months ago to actuallyautistic

Are all Autistics autodidacts? Is that just a thing we do?

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic
#ActuallyAutistics

ScruffyDux, 10 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic As an #Autistic person who reflexively thinks literally, I don't think I'll ever stop being upset that the meaning of "literally" has been modified, but there's no alternative word to express the concept.

Multiple times daily, understanding people's meaning now has additional cognitive difficulty.

That's because, every single time, I will take the word "literally" literally and spend energy interpreting the literal meaning only to find it was not, in fact, literal at all.

Gargron, 10 months ago to random

I'm curious, do you recognize which events from #Mastodon's history this sticker pack references? ☺️

theautisticcoach, 11 months ago to actuallyautistic

Don’t be edgy.

Edgy is being passive-aggressive.

Being passive-aggressive is an NT communication style, not an autistic one.

Some autistic people internalize this as part of their masks.

If you want to be passive-aggressive, just be “aggressive” and say what you want. Be you. Don’t sugar coat.

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistics @actuallyautistic