@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

CuriousMagpie

@[email protected]

🪶 Welcome 🪶

I'm unabashedly curious about everything. Wandering the hills of western Massachusetts with my canine companion Sadie.

❣️Lover of 🤔speculative fiction, 🏞️ biodiversity, 👩🏻‍🦯long rambling strolls, 🌾 flora & 🐙fauna, 🏔️mountains & 🌊ocean, ☸️ethics, 📝 words & 🎁 meaning-making, looking outward & 🔭inward🔬 ... 🌀 AuDHD Elder

Born when CO2 levels were at 315.34 ppm

Living on unceded land of the Muh-he-conneok ~ People of the Waters that are Never Still.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

How did my comrades self-regulate before they knew that they were or before they learned healthy ways to do so?

@actuallyautistic

CuriousMagpie,
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@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic Extensive reading has been my primary go to and still is.

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Do my comrades have a good relationship with their families of origin?

@actuallyautistic

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic 🤣😂🤣 No.
I have two younger sisters - one I have no contact with, she is a cruel and controlling person and has been since childhood - the other I have rare contact with, we don’t know each other at all and she is either unable or unwilling to develop a relationship. I have regular contact with my mom, but it’s an act of compassion for a lonely elderly person. None of them are people I would choose to spend time with. It took a while to come to peace with it.

JeremyMallin, to actuallyautistic
@JeremyMallin@autistics.life avatar

A thing I don't get about (one of many things)

Why does everyone talk about the weather shortly after greeting each other?

"Um? Yes, I too went outside. That's how we both got here."

Did they think you didn't notice on the way over? 🤔

@actuallyautistic

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@JeremyMallin @actuallyautistic tbqh - I talk about the weather all. the. time. because it’s fascinating to me. NT folks who know me avoid talking about the weather with me 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

VeeRat, to actuallyautistic
@VeeRat@zeroes.ca avatar

@actuallyautistic

I told my mother that I am Autistic. I am in my 50s, she is in her 70s. I had not wanted to talk about it with her for a very long time now, because she tends to believe that anything like that is caused by her being a "bad mother"; she bought into that hype from a long time ago, and never let it go.

I got the expected response. She said that she doesn't think I'm Autistic, because she bases her knowledge of Autism on the people who make the news due to NT people thinking they are gifted or strange, and on movie characters like Rain Man. She said it's ok that I investigate Autism "if it makes you feel better". Not that I was asking her permission.

Then when I was listing behaviors of mine that I attribute to Autism, she said, "I do those things too." I said, "yeah, it is hereditary...". But she would never investigate it about herself. She could never accept the label for herself, or for me.

I don't know why I try. I guess I do find some peace with myself having told her, because I felt bad talking about it so much with other family members, without her knowing. I still don't feel the need to talk with her about my cPTSD from childhood; I know I won't get a good response to that.

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@VeeRat @actuallyautistic We each need to make the decision about who to reveal ourselves to. We can trust ourselves to know what’s the best choice at the time.
I’m in my 60s and my mom in her 80s. Is she ND? Absolutely. But, like your mom, she has no context. It would only cause pain for her and me.
I absolutely will not reveal to my sisters - for them it would be more ammunition for cruelty.
I’ve told only a few friends who I trust.

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

For those of my comrades who understood that they're autistic later in life, did you find that the realization helped you get your life into a better spot? Or did it make things more complicated?

@actuallyautistic

CuriousMagpie,
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@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic It’s given me a necessary perspective to understand the many complications I’ve experienced - and I’m grateful.

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Good morning comrades!

How long does it typically take you to "boot-up" in the morning?

@actuallyautistic

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic 2 hours minimum - 3 hours is best for me

18+ CuriousMagpie, to actuallyautistic
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

I haven’t informed myself about trauma the way I have about AuDHD and I need suggestions for coping and resources.

I was blindsided into a 3 way phone convo with my abusive sister after 2yrs of no contact and I’ve spiraled into intense anxiety depression and anger. I had no idea my reaction would be like this.

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic

18+ CuriousMagpie, to actuallyautistic
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

C/W Trauma Tips @actuallyautistic #AskingAutistics

stevesilberman, to random
@stevesilberman@newsie.social avatar

Congratulations to @drrobertchapman.bsky.social , whose new book, "Empire of Normality," out today, is a radical critique of capitalism from a pro-neurodiversity perspective. It's brilliant. My endorsement is here. https://www.plutobooks.com/9780745348667/empire-of-normality/

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@stevesilberman
👆👆👆 @actuallyautistic

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

My teacher of blessed memory, Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi taught, "every Shabbat is a bit of the future condensed and brought into the present. It is not for living in the past. It calls for seeing differently. One dreams of the future in terms of the trends of today, though some of these have not yet come to discernment. On Shabbat we envision as yet unrealized futures"

I wish all of my comrades a Shabbat and weekend of possibility, of growth, and a taste of a better future for us and for all of humanity.

@actuallyautistic @mazeldon

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic @mazeldon A good Shabbos to you as well, Matthew 🕯️

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

What's your dream #ActuallyAutistic comrades?

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic

CuriousMagpie,
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@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic Personal to Global: A small, tidy home with a small pack of dogs, surrounded by trees and gardens, in a world of peace and kindness where all beings are flourishing.

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

How did my comrades come to know that they’re autistic?

@actuallyautistic

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic I was following Leah McElrath on twitter and when she was diagnosed she posted about her experiences that felt so familiar to me. I started looking into adult diagnoses and dipping into online communities. I got an “official” diagnosis 3 years ago at 62 mostly because I’m fascinated by how tests are used (they are mostly terrible).

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Good evening #ActuallyAutistic comrades!

Who are some of your favorite musicians that bring you a huge smile?

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic Te Vaka, Lawrence Laughing, Mariza are three who come to mind.

ScottSoCal, to actuallyautistic
@ScottSoCal@computerfairi.es avatar

@actuallyautistic

So my mother died. Not unexpected, because she was in her 80s, but not expected because we haven't spoken for about 10 years. I feel like I'm balancing on a point, ready to fall off, but I don't know which way I'm going to fall. How do I feel about this? Truly, deeply, have absolutely no idea.
Alexithymia is real, right now.

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic Be gentle with yourself as you move through this.

dyani, to actuallyautistic
@dyani@social.coop avatar

Neurokin, how do you feel about video meetings vs. in-person meetings?

I find them SO much easier and less draining!

This study says we get less neuro feedback from them and I think that's why I like them.

https://neurosciencenews.com/zoom-conversations-social-neuroscience-24996/

@actuallyautistic

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@dyani @actuallyautistic Video is much better than in person and email is better than video - asynchronous gives me time to process.

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

I've been working on a definition for Autistic Burnout for the past couple of years.

To date, there are a number of definitions and understandings of this most dangerous phenomenon.

To me, Autistic Burnout is a profound and enduring state of exhaustion paired with a partial to total loss of particular abilities resulting from the chronic and relentless denial of our fundamental autistic needs by society and those around us and an overabundance of demands and stimuli without sufficient recovery time.

It is characterized by several interconnected factors, including a continual sense of emotional and sensory overwhelm, a persistent dysregulation of our nervous system, and a profound alienation stemming from both camouflaging, not being heard or understood, and at times, encountering disbelief or even hostile responses to one's autistic experiences.

We can continue to break this down into a bunch of various nuances and we should. There are levels (some say 4, some 5, some 6) and I think all can agree that not all burnouts are the same. I think we can also agree that more #ActuallyAutistic humans are in burnout than we may suspect.

@actuallyautistic

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic Yes - this is definitely me. I can look back and see the six year slide into full on burnout that’s lasted about three years now. I’ve learned to be patient and kind to myself.

Susan60, to actuallyautistic
@Susan60@aus.social avatar

Okay late diagnosed & older autists. What do we do when we retire? I’m reasonably social, in a purpose driven way if that makes sense. My “special interests” have usually revolved around my current stage &/or work - parenting, studies, teaching etc. Retirement as a special interest? @actuallyautistic

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@Susan60 @actuallyautistic I love being retired! I love being able to move through the days at my own rhythm. I am so relieved that I no longer have to spend time with people I don’t enjoy.
I read whatever catches my fancy, go for long rambling walks with #SunshineSadie, spend time with friends, and wait for curiosity to lead me to new experiences.

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@Susan60 @actuallyautistic I have deliberately been exploring letting go of structure and direction as well as purpose. Prioritizing be-ing instead of do-ing. My entire adult life was all about taking care of others - at home, at work, in relationships - and striving to live up to my potential.
I am fully AuDHD and it is so much less stressful now.
I know it’s easier to do this since I don’t live with any other people and my primary daily obligation is my dog.

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Are you a carrot or a stick person when it comes to getting your day started? Or neither?

@actuallyautistic

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic Morning is - and always has been - a challenge for me. I don’t schedule anything before noon and take my time s l o w l y. When I was working (retired now) and a single mom, morning was pure hell.

djvanness, to academicsunite
@djvanness@mastodon.social avatar

I'm going out on a limb here, but maybe... just MAYBE...

...the reason why so many people in the USA don't believe in the value of a college education anymore is BECAUSE we are running our universities like businesses, and not because we aren't.

@academicchatter @academicsunite

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@djvanness @academicchatter @academicsunite “Here’s your degree, would you like fries with it?”
When I was teaching, students were encouraged by the admin to see themselves as customers and faculty as their employees who owed them good grades and an eventual degree. I left.

AutisticAdam, to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

Autistic people are often attracted to one particular line in a song and will sing that one line aloud or in their brain for days, possibly in the singer’s accent. This may be considered a form of stimming, as well as a form of echolalia.

@actuallyautistic

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@Jobob @CynAq @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic Jingle Bell Rock kept me calm and focused when a blizzard swept in as I was driving home with my infant daughter. I sang it for the entire drive.

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@f1337 @housepanther @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic All of my rewritten songs end up with lyrics about my dog and I sing to her while we’re driving. Mostly nursery rhymes 😃

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@ScottSoCal @f1337 @housepanther @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic I absolutely believe he can hear you in his heart 💜

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

How long does it take my comrades to do a full laundry cycle? From putting to hamper to washer to dryer/to drying rack to folding to cupboard.

@actuallyautistic

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic I share the washer/dryer with 2 other apartments so I am quick about getting laundry in and out of the public space. Over the past few months I've also become timely about putting laundry away - it's been quite nice and I hope it lasts 😉

housepanther, to actuallyautistic
@housepanther@masto.goblackcat.net avatar

@actuallyautistic The anger in me wants to start a fight when I go back to work in one week for one week at my old agency. I just want to tell my current manager the unvarnished truth about how much she sucks as a manager. The fact that I am going to have to put on an extra thick mask is going to lead me to exhaustion next week.

I just want to tell her to go fuck herself but that wouldn't be wise. As much as it chaps my ass, I am going to go in, be civil, and polite. She's going to pretend like she cares that I am doing better mentally and I am going to pretend to care about doing some work for her.

I am too old to do this childish game of pretend. I am entirely too old for it. Why must we have politics in the workplace? Why is it asking too much to be left alone? I just want my task(s) assigned to me and then to be left the fuck alone to get them done.

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@housepanther @actuallyautistic when I was in these situations, quite often, I would first write a flaming letter to the person. Laying out everything clearly, with great rage. Then I'd rip it up and write a "more constructive" letter in the hopes that they might learn something. I felt very strongly that people should understand the harm they do. Or at least be told about it. (I didn't know about my AuDHD during my working years.)

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@housepanther @actuallyautistic There is also a kind of freedom to knowing it's your last few days 🎉

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Someone who REGULARLY attends my free support group for adults cancelled their attendance citing that “I don’t take advice or consul from Jews who murder children, you’re probably not even autistic anyway”.

If you feel the same, feel free not to attend 🙏🏼

@actuallyautistic

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic WT actual F?! I'm so sorry you were the brunt of their ignorant hate. It's a shocking experience, I know.

AutisticAdam, to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

I'm autistic, so I guess it's natural that I will never, ever be able to understand exactly when is the correct time to add my point to a group conversation.

Watching the conversation move onto a totally different topic, while a really good point is left unsaid, is a very specific autistic sadness.

@actuallyautistic

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@tkk13909 @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic ✅ it's a long fascinating list 😉

reginasbread, to random
@reginasbread@homo.promo avatar

I'm so tired of teenagers being "the chosen ones" in fiction. please, let a middle-aged woman save the universe! she's seen some shit and dealt with it. she's tired of it all. she doesn't give a fuck. she's angry. she will get this shit done.

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@reginasbread Woman on the Edge of Time by Marge Piercy, The Fresco and Gate to Women's Country both by Sheri Tepper, The Kingston Cycle books by CL Polk, Remnant Population by Elizabeth Moon are a few ...
@bookstodon

CuriousMagpie, to actuallyautistic
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

As someone who's had lifelong digestive issues, I really appreciated this piece.
@actuallyautistic https://stone-soup.ghost.io/grains-of-truth/?ref=stone-soup-newsletter

CuriousMagpie, to actuallyautistic
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@vee @actuallyautistic These are great questions.
The way I see it, the importance given to identity and personality come from the culture we live in. As a rule, NT folks seem to require labels and hierarchy. Most ND folks are willing to be in the flow of the moment and are less attached to permanent concrete identity.
Self/Essence is more of a lifelong emerging understanding based on ever-changing experiences.
1/2

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@vee @actuallyautistic I think that #ActuallyAutistic folks often get caught in trying to fit their concept of self into NT definitions of acceptable roles and status and it messes with us.
As for why people attack those of us with identities that don't match their specs ... it's a nasty mystery 🤷‍♀️
2/2

ashleyspencer, to actuallyautistic
@ashleyspencer@autistics.life avatar

Do you have music that you listen to over and over again?

There’s this one playlist that’s practically the only thing I listen to. It’s motivating and positive things to ingrain in my mind. Haven’t gotten tired of it and the playlist has been growing for over 2 years now.

Occasionally I’ll let the app mix and play music it thinks I’ll like, but mainly the same like 25 to 30 songs. I feel like this is one of my many autistic traits.

What about you?
@actuallyautistic

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@ashleyspencer @actuallyautistic when I was writing my master's thesis, I listened to Bruce Cockburn and Greg Brown all day every day. I went through a phase of listening to Portuguese fado music and medieval chants.
Now, I'm appreciating silence.

CuriousMagpie, to actuallyautistic
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

Interesting though slightly fluffy piece. I 🙄when the writer said it was "virtually unknown" when they actually meant, science hadn't yet verified it because they are the arbiters of truth. 😒
: what’s behind the phenomenon that makes certain sounds unbearable?
@actuallyautistic https://www.theguardian.com/science/2023/sep/17/misophonia-phenomenon-sounds-unbearable-new-book-dr-jane-gregory

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

What does Autistic Masking/Camoflaging mean to YOU?

Not what the definition is. Not what people on social media say. We say that all humans are different. Masking fits into that too.

Some of us can’t mask btw.

What is it to YOU?

@actuallyautistic

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic Until I was self- and then professionally dx'd I was masking all the time - trying to be like NT folks - and failing miserably.
Over the past two years, I've been slowly unmasking to myself - recalling and engaging in different stimming and not judging sensitivities. I'm also stopping myself from unnecessary social NT behaviors that don't fit me. It's a slow and interesting process.

marthawells, to random
@marthawells@wandering.shop avatar

There's a starting today from Recorded Books: the audiobook of Emilie and the Sky World, narrated by Channie Waites, is half off https://www.audiobooks.com/promotions/promotedBook/546415/emilie-and-the-sky-world?refId=97548

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@bookstodon Check out this audiobook sale of Emilie and the Sky World from @marthawells

CindySue, to bookstodon
@CindySue@bookstodon.com avatar

I am determined to finish a book this weekend. I have a couple going from before we came back from the cabin at the beginning of last month.
What are you this weekend?

@bookstodon

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@CindySue @bookstodon I am listening to Murderbot Diaries and feeling frustrated because I have a bunch of new books that I purchased from ebooks . com and their reading app is so horrendous that it makes me want to weep.
If anyone has recommendations on how to get the books into a Kindle format or even a Libby format, please let me know!

CuriousMagpie, to bookstodon
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

New short story- Stones by Nnedi Okorafor

@bookstodon https://clarkesworldmagazine.com/okorafor_09_23/

tim, to bookstodon
@tim@worldkey.io avatar

"The Last Policeman" (book one of The Last Policeman trilogy) by Ben H. Winters @bookstodon

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@tim @bookstodon I really enjoyed the series - good characters, good pacing, lots of unexpected twists.

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

How do my comrades feel about haircuts?

@actuallyautistic

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic I found a good, unpretentious salon that has very reasonable prices ($22 US for a haircut). The hairdresser knows I'm autistic and doesn't seem to mind that I remind her each time about exactly what I want. I keep my hair short so it's easy to care for (wash and comb) and it's okay if I let it go a little too long between cuts.

jillrhudy, to bookstodon
@jillrhudy@mastodon.social avatar

I've never read if you can believe it! I plan to remedy that in October. Anyone want to join me for a celebration of ??? I'm starting with Parable of the Sower and Parable of the Talents. @bookstodon

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@jillrhudy @bookstodon The Parable books and the Xenogenesis series are the most powerful for me. I'd join you for a Parables reread.

brainpilgrim, to actuallyautistic
@brainpilgrim@mastodon.social avatar

@markusl @dipolecat @ator @actuallyautistic Went great with everyone close to me. In people less close, I just say I'm learning not to mask as an autistic person, and if I'm a little flamboyant, that's just me. And usually they enjoy it. Perhaps I'm lucky that way.

Worth noting, I had to move 1000 miles away to someplace more diverse and accepting. I would never have survived the state I came from. That's how stark the difference is.

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@brainpilgrim @markusl @dipolecat @ator @actuallyautistic I also moved almost 1000 miles away and stayed for 10 years until I got many things sorted out in my head. Then I moved back much closer to where I started from. I had much better boundaries in place.m and I don't give much of a hoot 🦉 about what others think of me.

CuriousMagpie, to bookstodon
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

Issue now live!
@bookstodon https://www.uncannymagazine.com/

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Is there such a thing as “autistic energy”?

@actuallyautistic

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic Yeah, I do think there is an autistic vibe that people - ND & NT in different ways - can pick up on.
I've seen studies that indicate people make judgments about others in the first moments they encounter one another - so it's not necessarily about what we do as much as who we are.
I'll have to think some more about this.

ScruffyDux, to actuallyautistic
@ScruffyDux@fosstodon.org avatar

@actuallyautistic I'm going to test deliberately leaning full into the beige diet.

Everywhere I see two things:

  1. Autistic people preferring simple carbohydrates, (potato, bread, pasta) and proteins that are ground, (e.g. nuggets), or soft, (e.g. beans).

  2. Non-autistic people insisting this dietary preference so many have, entirely independent of one another and of even knowing we're autistic, is inherently wrong and is an eating disorder.

I have an alternative theory outlined in next post

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@ScruffyDux @actuallyautistic Cool - I'll be curious to see the results.

lunalein, to bookstodon
@lunalein@federatedfandom.net avatar

@bookstodon folks, what’s a book you read once and then revisited many years later? did it hold up? or age like milk?

brought to you by my reread of The Sparrow, which made me feel bonkers.

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@lunalein @bookstodon I'm curious why it made you feel bonkers - is that a different response from your earlier read?

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@lunalein @bookstodon When I was a young teen I read a book by Ellen Kindt McKenzie called Taash and the Jesters. Many years later I searched for it (pre Amazon days mail order) and purchased it. The book was just as satisfying.

CuriousMagpie,
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

@lunalein @bookstodon Ah, that makes sense. I felt those two books broke me a little bit. I did reread them, but I am not sure I could again.

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