@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

cvwillegen

@[email protected]

Nieuwsgierig en hulpvaardig. Vader. Hacker. Hij/hem He/Him

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ChrisMayLA6, to random
@ChrisMayLA6@zirk.us avatar

Hurrah... good sense breaks out in the #NorthWest as the 'Waitrose of the North', Booths begins to get rid of self-service check-outs.

Given the price premium at Booths, we (the customers) want the social interaction with staff at the checkouts, not be told to 'scan & bag'!

More importantly, not only do checkouts provide regular local employment, they are also for many semi-isolated shoppers a key bit of rare social interaction... so a welcome reverse!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-67373472

cvwillegen,
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

@dweebish
I scan all product bar codes whenever I put something in my cart/bag/crate, and I only need to pay at the self checkout. Saves me a lot of time!
@ChrisMayLA6 @Greenseer @actuallyautistic @RolloTreadway

ScottSoCal, to actuallyautistic
@ScottSoCal@computerfairi.es avatar

@actuallyautistic

Looking for recommendations: what do you do when you get stuck figuring out what emotion(s) you're feeling?

My mother died a few days ago. Our relationship was toxic, and we haven't spoken for years. I know I'm feeling something, from the tense crackling inside, but I don't know what it is.

cvwillegen,
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

@obrerx
My father's death gave me the first indication that something was "wrong", because I didn't grieve like "normal people".
@ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic

AutisticAdam, to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

Autistic me:

Loves books but does not have the mental stamina to sit and read a book from start to finish for hours on end. So instead consumes short-form content online for hours and hours.

Yeah because this makes sense...

@actuallyautistic

cvwillegen,
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

@daedalousilios

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

AutisticAdam, to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

"You can’t be autistic - you can make eye contact!”

Being autistic doesn’t mean I can’t make eye contact, rather that eye contact can be painful and overstimulating for me. Yet, I make it because I have to. If I didn’t, many would be hurt/angry, and I’d face further ostracism. Thanks for your pointless comment anyway from someone that clearly doesn't know what your talking about.

@actuallyautistic

cvwillegen,
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

@tdelmas @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic yup. Because of (progressive) lung problems, I now need a wheelchair (or scoot mobile (?)) when I need to go distances of over about 300m. You wouldn't believe people's reactions sometimes. Yes, I need it to get about, but not to stand up and walk small distances!

thequirkybraincoach, to actuallyautistic
@thequirkybraincoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

I've been writing about masking and the impact on your zest this morning.

When we are authentic, what we present to the world mostly matches what we think and feel on the inside.

The pain, effort, challenge and consequences of masking come from when the gulf between who we are inside and how we go about in the public sphere is too wide to cope with.

I would never advise that anyone just "rip off" their metaphorical mask and do it without consideration for a safe, gentle, do-able way to do it.

Many people have told me - and this was also my experience - that once the mask is off, it's off and it's kind of not going back on again!

Therefore, if you desire to unmask, then it's best done gentle and intensely.

It's also important to note that in some places in the world and in some social contexts, it is easier and safer for some people to unmask than others. I acknowledge my own privilege as a white, CIS-gender woman in this respect. That is why I am always sensitive to what is safe and possible within personal contexts when it comes to discussing masking with clients.

In any case, I often find that people who are later-discovered and have masked extensively for years even mask at home, on their own. Sometimes, they don't know who their authentic self is and have lost touch with who they are "at heart".

Therefore, it's usually safe enough to start your unmasking journey by getting to know yourself now you know more about your brain. That's where a lot of my work begins.

If you know your tendencies, preferences, cognitive style, communication needs, and sensory profile, for example, it's a lot easier to have that intentional discussion about if/when you can begin to unmask...perhaps in the privacy of your own home at first.

@actuallyautistic

cvwillegen,
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

@thequirkybraincoach @actuallyautistic this hits SO close to home! I recently told a psychiatrist (who leads the mental health Institute I visit a target/discussion/support group every 2 weeks) that "we" needed the group so much, and for an unspecified amount of time, "because you can't shovel off 40 years of shit in a couple of weeks". I'm also trying to find myself with a helper, I have no idea who I am and what/how to feel!

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

How did my comrades understand that they're autistic?

How old were you?

@actuallyautistic

cvwillegen,
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic my wife suspected me of such. I got a test, but 'failed' (probably because of 'not enough' problems in childhood. A few years later, I passed (probably because this time they also interviewed my wife).I was 48 years old. A lot has changed over the last 40 years if I compare current knowledge and support with what would have been possible 40 years ago...

ColinTheMathmo, to random
@ColinTheMathmo@mathstodon.xyz avatar

A: What's your greatest weakness?

B: Interpreting the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics.

A: Can you give an example?

B: Yes.

(Originally seen (lightly edited) on Twitter, the author is now on Mastodon here: @methode )

cvwillegen,
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

@ColinTheMathmo @methode should this go into @actuallyautistic ??

AlgoCompSynth, to composeroftheday
@AlgoCompSynth@ravenation.club avatar


@composeroftheday

August 24
Jean-Michel Jarre

Jean Michel Jarre https://youtube.com/@jeanmicheljarre?si=8GwOQ93NKlSYq3Ry via @YouTube

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean-Michel_Jarre

cvwillegen,
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

@AlgoCompSynth @composeroftheday love his work! I've seen him in concert, years ago. He played various instruments live, including a Theremin. He said: "I'm going to try to deal with it."...

Private
cvwillegen,
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic the death of my father, now 8 years back, was the first time that I sought help, because I thought that my grief process was totally different from what other people showed. The burn out at the end of that year didn't really help my mood. I got suicidal thoughts, but pure rationally decided not to take the plunge off the bridge. Luckily, I got help, a diagnosis, a support group, and psychological help. Oh sorry we were talking about death.

Private
cvwillegen,
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

@grammaticus @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic I want to remain in control of myself, so no alcohol and drugs. Also: I've seen crazy alcohol behavior. Big nope!

Private
cvwillegen,
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic it depends. I can be certain that I'm only going to be in for a couple of minutes, and it takes me 15. Or the reverse.

Bad mood can sometimes be lifted by going to the bathroom first. I almost posited a house rule: "No fights before you've gone to the bathroom!"

AutisticAdam, to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

The autistic urge to explain everything fully, so nobody has gaps in their knowledge and needs to ask questions.

@actuallyautistic

cvwillegen,
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

@exme @Claire @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic "Basically, I remember just about everything from my STEM education in secondary school 40 years back, plus I've kept my interest in biology, anatomy, maths and physics during those 40 years."

cvwillegen, to actuallyautistic Dutch
@cvwillegen@mastodon.nl avatar

Sometimes, NT behavior can be really dangerous for ND people! I was told to use an inhaler for my lungs. "Exhale, inhale deeply, hold your breath for 10 seconds, exhale, and rinse your throat." After falling to the floor twice from losing consciousness, I contacted my doctor. He told me that "we say 10s, because then people hold their breath for 7, which is enough. But, knowing you, you hold it for 10, which may lead to fainting. So, hold your breath for 7 s". Great... @actuallyautistic

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