stoy,

I would wish for the following.

I wish that everyone in my family slowly over two years gets into then stays in decent shape for the rest of their lives.

I wish that everyone in my family gets success, but keeps most of our anonymity.

I wish that pollution (including co2) was reversed to pre industrial revolution levels, this means that all material causing pollution is transformed back into raw material, so all excess co2 would be transformed back into what it was before, oil/coal/wood, suddenly we would have a clean planet, full of natural resources and modern technology, as well as an understanding of climate change, we would get a second chance, but with an enourmous jumpstart.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA,
@HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world avatar

I wish I had a turkey sandwich. On rye bread. With lettuce, and mustard.

ShitOnABrick,
@ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world avatar

Priorities

son_named_bort,

The turkey’s a little dry?

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA,
@HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world avatar

THE TURKEYS A LITTLE DRY!? OH FOUL THE CURSED THING. WHAT DEMON FROM THE DEPTHS OF HELL CREATED THEE?

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA,
@HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world avatar

Wait I thought of a second wish. That politician? The one You (yes you) don’t like? Every time they open their mouth to talk in public or when there’s something around to record they let out the grossest nastiest wettest fart like they gotta go check, but everything’s dry. But it’s so nasty they gotta go check every time. For the rest of their life.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA,
@HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world avatar

And going and checking is part of the wish I want cspan to get interesting

pdxfed,

More of an MLT guy myself, nothing like a good Mutton Lettuce and Tomato when the tomato’s are just 🤌

HexesofVexes,
  1. For learning to be easier for everyone, so humanity can grow wiser.
  2. For kind acts to extend people’s lives, so humanity will grow kinder.
  3. For the afterlife to be as perfect as promised, so we can see them again after a life of kind wisdom.
ChairmanMeow,
@ChairmanMeow@programming.dev avatar

Omnipotence. Then I’m pretty much done.

sntx,

After that, add Omniscience

Lemminary,

Yes! Give me all of the science!

ChairmanMeow,
@ChairmanMeow@programming.dev avatar

Not even necessary, with omnipotence you can do that youself. But a little mystery in life would still be fun, no?

intensely_human,

Screw it! Just change the laws of reality so you can be omniscient and have mystery at the same time. Make it so those two things don’t conflict.

intensely_human,

Congratulations! You now have the same relationship to the universe that a programmer has to his code.

Good luck, and happy debugging

sntx,

Everything will be LISP in the future

histic,

what’s the monkey paw mechanic I’m confused

intensely_human,

I wish you hadn’t asked that

LoamImprovement,

In a short story, the monkey’s paw is an artifact that grants three wishes of the person who holds it, albeit in the worst way possible.

The story goes that a pensioner and his wife receive the paw from some guy who warns them that the paw twists the wishes, but they pay the warning no mind and wish for a sum of money. A finger on the paw curls, and a factory foreman shows up with the money explaining that their son has died of a horrific mutilating accident in the factory. The insurance policy pays the money out to the surviving members of the family.

The wife wishes that their son were alive again, another finger curls, and a few hours later they hear another knock at the door. The wife rushes to welcome their son, however, recalling the stranger’s warning and imagining how terrifying the mutilated body of their son might look, the father uses the last finger to wish the son dead and buried again. Incidentally, there doesn’t appear to be a negative on that wish apart from the horror that’s already been visited on them.

Bye,

Two chicks at the same time

Not sure about the third wish

intensely_human,

That’s … that’s what you’d do with three wishes? Two chicks at the same time? Couldn’t you do that without three wishes?

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA,
@HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world avatar

You haven’t seen my horribly disfigured body. I’d probably need all three wishes for it.

angstylittlecatboy,
  1. A post scarcity society
  2. World peace
  3. The eradication of authoritarianism
Sensitivezombie,

and capitalism (which would be the case under #1 but don’t underestimate human greed)

agamemnonymous,

Capitalism is ultimately bourgeoisie authoritarianism

Mango,
  1. To never need
  2. I can say no to anything.
  3. I get to be in the top 10% of income for nothing.
Papergeist,

Infinite wishes

Alivrah,

Fool! I wish for infinite wishes plus one!

sntx,

inifinity + 1 = infinity

Try ℵ₁ wishes!

Alivrah,

ℵ₁ +1! Gotcha!

RIPandTERROR,
@RIPandTERROR@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Fix global environment/emissions to stable levels.

Fix ignorance/hate

Fix capitalism & greed

starman2112,

•1. I wish you would cry harder and not stop

•2. I wish no one can ever talk to you ever again

•3.

PlutoniumAcid,
@PlutoniumAcid@lemmy.world avatar

Satan?

starman2112,
JWBananas,
@JWBananas@startrek.website avatar

I wish your pain was gone

Ejh3k,

Max verstappen and Donald Trump both due in a head on car collision against each other.

Green Bay Packers never win another game.

To live a long and healthy life with my wife.

Squeak,

Why Verstappen?

Ejh3k,

Imagine how excellent this F1 season would have been without him?

Squeak,

But then we wouldn’t have had 2021 which was amazing.

Ejh3k,

Was it? Twisted rules for a final lap to decide the championship?

Was that really amazing?

Squeak,

Yes. The whole season isn’t written off because of 1 lap. The season was amazing. The final lap was bullshit, but the season was one of the best.

The final lap also wasn’t on Max, that was ok Masi

ChairmanMeow,
@ChairmanMeow@programming.dev avatar

How is it Max’s fault everyone else sucks?

Ejh3k,

Yeah… That’s it. 19 other drivers, including two other multi time world champions, all suck. You are right. I was wrong. Give me a second to open my mouth wide enough to accept Max’s thin, drink tube-like penis as you have

ChairmanMeow,
@ChairmanMeow@programming.dev avatar

Oh come off it, that was clearly a joke. But seriously, F1 is more than the race for P1. The current season wouldn’t be much more entertaining without him. Sure, he’s dominating at the front, but that’s only 1/20th of the race, everything that happens behind him is constantly in flux and plenty interesting to watch.

IOII19,

What did Max ever do to you 😭

Ejh3k,

He’s just a cunt.

PM_me_your_vagina_thanks,

I want my best friend alive again, and the cancer to be gone. He can have the third.

sanosuke001,

I’d give all three of mine to this guy.

Sorry for your loss ;(

Pilokyoma,
  1. All people knows the love of catholic God.
  2. All people knows the fallacys.
  3. All people see the life of others.
Kbobabob,

All people knows the love of catholic God.

Hard pass

I’ve seen “the love of Catholic God”

qyron,

Number 3 is a very hard pass as well.

NotSoCoolWhip,

The “love of Catholic God” is a reference to the priests that rape helpless children, right? Or just the institution that allows, covers up, and perpetuates it?

Archer,

Bold move having your second wish negate your first even if it was possible

HubertManne,
@HubertManne@kbin.social avatar

1 - safety plan from other poster "if i, as i am now or as i become subsequent to their fulfilment, am unsatisfied with the outcome of any of my wishes, i wish to return to the moment i first was granted them, retaining full knowledge of the timeline as i caused it to be but with the ability to make diffent choices"
2 - maine plan - everyone wakes up to find out we are in a simulation and the real world is a post scarcity start trek like society but with total peace and harmony and none of the fighting
3 - backup plan - my own personal universe/dimension where I control all aspects of it and can enter it and leave it whenever I want. It exists outside of our time/space so when I enter and leave I can go anywhere within either as a destination

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • random
  • uselessserver093
  • Food
  • [email protected]
  • aaaaaaacccccccce
  • test
  • CafeMeta
  • testmag
  • MUD
  • RhythmGameZone
  • RSS
  • dabs
  • oklahoma
  • Socialism
  • KbinCafe
  • TheResearchGuardian
  • SuperSentai
  • feritale
  • KamenRider
  • All magazines