stoy,

I would wish for the following.

I wish that everyone in my family slowly over two years gets into then stays in decent shape for the rest of their lives.

I wish that everyone in my family gets success, but keeps most of our anonymity.

I wish that pollution (including co2) was reversed to pre industrial revolution levels, this means that all material causing pollution is transformed back into raw material, so all excess co2 would be transformed back into what it was before, oil/coal/wood, suddenly we would have a clean planet, full of natural resources and modern technology, as well as an understanding of climate change, we would get a second chance, but with an enourmous jumpstart.

HexesofVexes,
  1. For learning to be easier for everyone, so humanity can grow wiser.
  2. For kind acts to extend people’s lives, so humanity will grow kinder.
  3. For the afterlife to be as perfect as promised, so we can see them again after a life of kind wisdom.
histic,

what’s the monkey paw mechanic I’m confused

intensely_human,

I wish you hadn’t asked that

LoamImprovement,

In a short story, the monkey’s paw is an artifact that grants three wishes of the person who holds it, albeit in the worst way possible.

The story goes that a pensioner and his wife receive the paw from some guy who warns them that the paw twists the wishes, but they pay the warning no mind and wish for a sum of money. A finger on the paw curls, and a factory foreman shows up with the money explaining that their son has died of a horrific mutilating accident in the factory. The insurance policy pays the money out to the surviving members of the family.

The wife wishes that their son were alive again, another finger curls, and a few hours later they hear another knock at the door. The wife rushes to welcome their son, however, recalling the stranger’s warning and imagining how terrifying the mutilated body of their son might look, the father uses the last finger to wish the son dead and buried again. Incidentally, there doesn’t appear to be a negative on that wish apart from the horror that’s already been visited on them.

Mango,
  1. To never need
  2. I can say no to anything.
  3. I get to be in the top 10% of income for nothing.
Bye,

Two chicks at the same time

Not sure about the third wish

intensely_human,

That’s … that’s what you’d do with three wishes? Two chicks at the same time? Couldn’t you do that without three wishes?

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA,
@HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world avatar

You haven’t seen my horribly disfigured body. I’d probably need all three wishes for it.

RIPandTERROR,
@RIPandTERROR@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Fix global environment/emissions to stable levels.

Fix ignorance/hate

Fix capitalism & greed

angstylittlecatboy,
  1. A post scarcity society
  2. World peace
  3. The eradication of authoritarianism
Sensitivezombie,

and capitalism (which would be the case under #1 but don’t underestimate human greed)

agamemnonymous,

Capitalism is ultimately bourgeoisie authoritarianism

starman2112,

•1. I wish you would cry harder and not stop

•2. I wish no one can ever talk to you ever again

•3.

PlutoniumAcid,
@PlutoniumAcid@lemmy.world avatar

Satan?

starman2112,
JWBananas,
@JWBananas@startrek.website avatar

I wish your pain was gone

HubertManne,
@HubertManne@kbin.social avatar

1 - safety plan from other poster "if i, as i am now or as i become subsequent to their fulfilment, am unsatisfied with the outcome of any of my wishes, i wish to return to the moment i first was granted them, retaining full knowledge of the timeline as i caused it to be but with the ability to make diffent choices"
2 - maine plan - everyone wakes up to find out we are in a simulation and the real world is a post scarcity start trek like society but with total peace and harmony and none of the fighting
3 - backup plan - my own personal universe/dimension where I control all aspects of it and can enter it and leave it whenever I want. It exists outside of our time/space so when I enter and leave I can go anywhere within either as a destination

turbowafflz,

Video game style save states so when I mess things up I can just go back and fix them as long as I remembered to save. Like that one rick and morty episode except without killing a version of myself every time I use it

ChairmanMeow,
@ChairmanMeow@programming.dev avatar

Omnipotence. Then I’m pretty much done.

sntx,

After that, add Omniscience

Lemminary,

Yes! Give me all of the science!

ChairmanMeow,
@ChairmanMeow@programming.dev avatar

Not even necessary, with omnipotence you can do that youself. But a little mystery in life would still be fun, no?

intensely_human,

Screw it! Just change the laws of reality so you can be omniscient and have mystery at the same time. Make it so those two things don’t conflict.

intensely_human,

Congratulations! You now have the same relationship to the universe that a programmer has to his code.

Good luck, and happy debugging

sntx,

Everything will be LISP in the future

ShitOnABrick, (edited )
@ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world avatar

End world hunger

As much money as I’ll virtually need for a comfortable daily life

Initiate world peace ✌️

Edit: Would happily change as much money as I’ll virtually need for the ability to reincarnate pm_me_your_vagina_pics_thanks friend whom died of cancer

Pilokyoma,
  1. All people knows the love of catholic God.
  2. All people knows the fallacys.
  3. All people see the life of others.
Kbobabob,

All people knows the love of catholic God.

Hard pass

I’ve seen “the love of Catholic God”

qyron,

Number 3 is a very hard pass as well.

NotSoCoolWhip,

The “love of Catholic God” is a reference to the priests that rape helpless children, right? Or just the institution that allows, covers up, and perpetuates it?

Archer,

Bold move having your second wish negate your first even if it was possible

Witchfire,
@Witchfire@lemmy.world avatar

Universal healthcare

Capitalism and authoritarianism eradicated

Everyone’s medical and student debt wiped

Bizarroland,
@Bizarroland@kbin.social avatar

I wish for a machine that can convert matter to its subatomic particles and then rearrange them back together according to any pattern that it has stored by previously disassembling, that is also able to be integrated into the human body.

I wish for an autonomous cloud computer system that can store both the patterns and a full copy of every bit of data currently on the internet and that the machine produced and that has a neural integration system so that the entire process can be controlled by the mind, and that this system also be able to be integrated into the human body.

I wish to have both of those and myself, 1 year from today to be brought, fully functional and with all knowledge and systems intact into the past, taking the place of my 18 year old self.

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