“You may have descended from monkeys but not me” from my grandma. She was a stubborn woman who had a hard time adjusting to the idea of evolution. I’m mostly atheist but I still get a kick out of this one
My youngest brother upon hearing that for the umpteenth time from our Grampa, decided to get clever and half-bent to threw over his shoulder with a smirk “Then, use the keyhole.”
I never saw the old man leap out of his recliner so fast, and to this day I think that little smartass is still looking over his shoulder for that righteous comeuppance. 😱
That to me sounds like a very northern state phrase. I can absolutely hear my grandma saying that (not saying you/they are, just made me smile thinking of that)
My grandfather gave me three options when I was young and slightly hurt. “I can hurt the other one, amputate the one that hurts, or you can go to bed.”
From my mom, not my grandparents, but we’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of this one
“If I find it, can I hit you with it?”
Used when we were bugging her about not being able to find something. Don’t believe she ever made good on that threat, but it usually did it’s intended purpose of getting us to quit bugging her and find it ourselves. And if it was something we really needed help finding it would have been an acceptable trade-off.
My sister got a lot of use out of it with her college roommates and my wife and I use it with each other pretty regularly.
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