fitgse, When my grandmother met my now wife, who is from Alabama, my grandmother told her “well, we all have to be from somewhere”
krazylink, As someone who’s family is from Alabama, I hard agree with your grandma. Where was she from? And can I steal her line?
fitgse, My grandma was from the Midwest, mostly South Dakota. My grandma was very sweet and so it really cracked us up when she said that.
typo, That to me sounds like a very northern state phrase. I can absolutely hear my grandma saying that (not saying you/they are, just made me smile thinking of that)
lowcarbbq, “Better an empty house, than a bad tenant” after every loud fart.
harlatan, i use a very similar one, in german we say: everything that doesn’t pay rent gets thrown out
Bishma, 
“You don’t have to shovel rain.” - My grandfather when asked why he moved the family from Wisconsin to Oregon.
Piecemakers3Dprints, 
Now, that’s wisdom I can get behind! 🤙🏼 (raised out yonder in the mitten, now happily left coast rooted)
MrPoopyButthole, “How are you ever gonna keep a job if you can’t keep juice in a cup?!”
I was 9 years old
Piecemakers3Dprints, Brutal 🤣🤌🏼
demonquark, My grandmother used to say: if you expect your good deed to be reciprocated, you’re not actually doing a good deed.
She said it in dutch, so I hope it’s an decent translation.
Hexarei, 
I’ve heard this one put similarly: “If you’re looking for something in return, even your good deeds are an extension of your selfishness.”
108beads, From my grandmother: “Essen! Essen!” (Eat! Eat!) Followed quickly by “You need to lose weight! You’re getting fat!”
Aryuproudomenowdaddy, 
Do we have the same grandma.
Aryuproudomenowdaddy, I don’t know about ‘iconic’ but I once heard my grandpa say “I’d eat 5 feet of her shit just to see where it came from.” and that mental scar will probably stay with me the rest of my life.
philycheezestake, Me too…
lolgcat, Is this a military thing? One of the characters in Generation Kill says this in the first episode.
Aryuproudomenowdaddy, Possibly? I think he might of been in the military but I’ve never heard him talk about it.
Venicon, 
‘Whits fur ye will no’ go past ye’ - what’s for you will not go past you
My wee Scottish granny had some real wisdom.
‘No point in worrying about somethin cos if it happens ye suffer twice!’
Vaginal_blood_fart, My parents used these hahhaa. And the classic for when you’ve had enough of someone “go get in the sea”
Piecemakers3Dprints, After reading this comment, I was going to ask what “get tae fook” meant, but then I clocked your username and now I’m not sure that’s so wise.
Vaginal_blood_fart, Hahaha. Yeah. That means basically fuck off, get fucked.
ragica, 
Friend’s grandfather used to say…
The hurrier I go the behinder I get.
quicksand, I love this, I’m gonna have to start using it when everyone is rushing and making silly mistakes at work
CrabAndBroom, When he was talking about turning 100: “I can’t see, and I can’t hear, but I can still eat so I’m not going to die.”
He did indeed make it to 100.
queermunist, 
In response to someone saying “oh my god” every single time, without fail:
“Well he’s my god too!”
radix, 
Our god.
(Cue L’Internationale.)
SinningStromgald, Comrade?
tokebakicitte, My dad would say “my name is dad” to people saying “oh my god” to anything he did
Chefdano3, 
When he wanted to remind us to turn off lights, he’d yell “save electrodes!”
When he was splitting wood with the “kabunger” (splitting maul) he’d yell “katabuungie!” When he swung.
When he’d drop wood on his toe he’d yell “GOTDAMMITSONOFABITCHGRAAH”
wesker, 
“Who just shit my pants?”
iviattendurefort, A blind man would be happy to see that. (About a task completed poorly on a jobsite)
pseudo, 
They is also “better hear that than being deaf” after hearing something ridiculous.
datendefekt, 
“Getting old’s not for pussies” - my Grandma
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