saltnotsugar

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saltnotsugar,

I only use my programming for good. For instance Bat_Count.exe lets the user enter a number and then the Count from sesame street will count to this number and say “Ah ah ah!” at the end.

saltnotsugar,

(Shows up in latex body suit and a whip) “Uhhhh…no I didn’t make a mistake. I totally love…pot…s.

saltnotsugar,

Captains log, star date….uhhhh let me grab the calendar…ok that’s the old one…uhhh…7?

(The uncensored files)

saltnotsugar,

Honestly there are enough quality posts and comments here that keep me engaged. It feels like a lot of creative people made the move.

saltnotsugar,

“Shall I play the ocarina and return us to the forest temple?”

Nah. Nah man let’s just walk.

saltnotsugar,

Clown eggie nine plasma!

saltnotsugar,

“So you’re a REAL tree?”

Yesh. I make worrie aboot Christmas time. Family cut me and make ornament on my face.

“This dude is legit.”

saltnotsugar,

Sir, this contract will make or break the company.

(Frog rave in my head) “Of course they will.”

saltnotsugar,

Says here the vendor can charge us up to 1000% because of…froggie vibes? Who signed this!?

saltnotsugar,

I see a mate in 43 moves.

saltnotsugar,

Oh I sure do love my wireless iPhone. (WIRE ZAP) …dang it.

saltnotsugar,

Haben Sie ein…MEGA SLICE?

saltnotsugar,

I remember putting the kids to bed as a baby sitter, then chilling on the lazy boy until suddenly a kid is butt naked running right out the front door into a thunderstorm. Nothing like chasing a crazy naked kid through the neighborhood in friggin socks.

saltnotsugar,

(Hang up Tsar flag)

Bolshevik neighbors: We don’t like yer kind around these parts.

saltnotsugar,

I’ve used ChatGPT to explain a difficult concept in different terms, and it’s greatly helped me learn.

saltnotsugar,

Why is that chicken smoking in the maternity ward?

“Don’t. Just don’t man. AVOID that chicken.”

saltnotsugar,

You see a lobbyist’s love is very different from that of a square.

saltnotsugar,

Take my strong hand!

saltnotsugar,

CANCEL

saltnotsugar,

69% of 420 is equal to 420% of 69.

saltnotsugar,

Je…ja…Jesk

saltnotsugar,

Drone with grenade make tonk sad.

saltnotsugar,

Stormtrooper: It’s not that I’m lazy, I just don’t care.

saltnotsugar,

“Oh wow, are you gonna show me the world?”

Best I can do is a wild night in Glasgow.

saltnotsugar,

Souls-like difficulty setting.

saltnotsugar,

What the heck is the left engine light!?

saltnotsugar,

(Me coming back with the wrong onions)

FOOL OF A TOOK!

saltnotsugar,

The hacker mindset is to find the weakness in a system, and then exploit it to the maximum degree.

saltnotsugar,

This is what we in the industry refer to as a “big oof.”

saltnotsugar,

I love needlessly long manga titles.

My cat launched a nuke and to stop it I married my plumber!

saltnotsugar,

(Goes through a phone maze to get the option you need, then the robot voice comes on)

“OUR STAFF CAN HANDLE THAT REQUEST TUESDAY THROUGH THURSDAYS BETWEEN 10AM AND 4PM. GOODBYE.”

saltnotsugar,

Get a very sharp knife, then gently slice the atom in half and patiently wait for a sudden unscheduled disassembly.

saltnotsugar,

We do not perform Mama Mia FOR you. We will perform it AT you.

saltnotsugar,

This is really sad. People deserve to be who they are.

saltnotsugar,

Daaaaaang, are you a financial audit of my taxes? Cuz I want nothing to do with you.

saltnotsugar,

I need to return some video tapes.

saltnotsugar,

Hey best friend!

“Oh. Heyyyy level 4 out of 8 friend.”

McDonald's prices are out of control. (cdn.masto.host)

Gee, it’s almost like corporations are gouging consumers so badly that their market advantages are being lost due to greed. Inflation this quickly isnt real. It’s what happens when you come off a global pandemic with millions dead and corporations see they can freely abuse you by exploiting the public zeitgeist that prices...

saltnotsugar,

“Hate cheese do we?! The Netherlands send their regards!!!”

saltnotsugar,

Under total weight I tons, you put “Yes.”

saltnotsugar,

This was the original rollercoaster tycoon game.

saltnotsugar,

Do you feel lucky Voldemort?

saltnotsugar,

Big big Chungus!

saltnotsugar,

Let’s get some good camera shaking going, turn on the night vision, and run out of the room randomly.

saltnotsugar,

It gave unto TK-421 unnatural long life.

saltnotsugar,

#1: Raise the banner of the Vanilla Ice Cream League!

saltnotsugar,

Don’t forget to use the “eyebrows of command.”

saltnotsugar,

“Does anyone in your crew ever yell Khan really loud?”
No. Nah man. Shit no man. I believe you get your ass kicked for yellin something like that.

saltnotsugar,

This is called the “Bro’s mate” and was widely used in the early 1800’s.

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