Expectation that my things will remain where I keep them.
Does anyone else have a tendency to get really frustrated and upset when something you keep in a certain location is moved randomly by someone else? And you look everywhere, and can't find it? And the more you look, and as you realize it's not turning up, and you just can't find it, a feeling of utter calamity and dismay, of catastrophic sense of "the universe is no longer the same" sets in.
I really can go into a highly upset state of mind. Some would no doubt call this a meltdown.
@neurotraveler@actuallyautistic This is such an issue with my partner and I. We both have AuDHD and as the primary caretaker of the home I tidy/clean according to the standards of my AuDHD. However, this means they can never find things because our logic systems are at odds. I've taken to dumping things in a million "doom boxes" because it seems to be the middle ground between our mental systems.
Yes, and actually that was another source of friction between me and my ex-wife. I don't know how ADHD might affect people in this area, but she was the type of person who did not worry about where things were. I guess as long as it made sense in her head, all was good.
It was very different for me. I liked to have specific things in specific places, so that I'd be able to easily find them again. Sometimes she'd move some of my stuff, and we'd have a small dispute about it.
I was mighty irritated, but I don't think I went into meltdowns.
@neurotraveler I absolutely and definitely have to make sure I put things where hubs expects to find them. Since we had to move, he has become badly discombobulated, because everything is not where it was...we moved from a 3 bedroom house with a large yard, to a 16ft van with annex, in a caravan park. His tool shed is at his sister's place. A lot of stuff is in a storage unit. It is a huge adjustment, and it drives his every-thing-in-its-own-place-mind crazy. (doesn't do much for me, either).😕 #Downsizing sucks for #autistics😬 @actuallyautistic
Downsizing does suck. I went from a semi-rural house on an almost 9 acre lot, to a small apartment close to a metropolis. I just had to make peace with the notion that I've lost a lot of my possessions.
@yourautisticlife Ugh. That would be noisy, too, I would imagine.
Property moguls have been pressuring the elderly to downsize - mainly so that they can grab their houses on 1/4 acre blocks - or their terrace houses in the inner city - and make mega bucks turning them over. Meanwhile the numbers of homeless keep growing😕 @neurotraveler@actuallyautistic
Noisy? My apartment? Not really. I've been lucky that my building was a built around or maybe even before WWII. The walls are thick and don't carry much sound. I use earplugs at night, but I also did when I was still living in the marital house.
The one thing here is the occasional annoyance of someone deciding to blast music in their car outside my office window. (The parking lot is not far.) It usually does not last, however.
I've been in much worse situations when I was studying. Some of my neighbors thought nothing about blasting music well into the night. :catangry:
@neurotraveler@actuallyautistic I keep my car keys & the spare house key in a particular spot. We use the house key when we go out & don’t use a car because it’s smaller/lighter. Sometimes my partner doesn’t put it back, or borrows my car keys & doesn’t put them back, & isn’t sure where he left them… Argh!
@neurotraveler@actuallyautistic Unless people have a pressing reason to need what they move, I get really upset with them personally for moving things out of place.
If there was an option of just leaving it in place, they should have.
And putting things back where you found them is definitely more appreciated than leaving it findable.
Making things hard to find is absolutely a reason to get very angry.
I so much hate searching for things I left in a specific spot.
and I get really frustrated and upset when I do that myself, which is what happens all the time (me living alone, it’s clear I can’t put the blame on anyone else 😂)
@neurotraveler@actuallyautistic this is why I told my colleagues to get their own tools and only when absolutly necessary could they use mine, under strict orders to put the tool back where it came from and if they could not remember, to just give the tool to me. My direct colleagues were cool with that, they had the same attitude towards their own tools. But occassionaly someone from another departement took my tools and I wound up putting them in a locked room.
@neurotraveler@actuallyautistic Whooo boy! I am Deafblind and I think I have everyone trained not to touch my crap or to put it back exactly where they do and then things disappear and it is so frustrating! The latest was when the person who cleans for me moved my dog's bowls to the top of my braille embossor. Like WTF! Really? I searched for 3 days because of course she couldn't remember where she put them.
@actuallyautistic@neurotraveler Yes, and it actually makes it hard for me to clean the house, because I don’t think I should move anything that my husband has set down. But he’s hoping that I can find places for things! It’s so hard for me to understand that someone else would want their things moved!
@neurotraveler@actuallyautistic Why yes, I do have a problem with that - thanks for noticing - OH MY GOD YOU PUT THAT IN THE WRONG PLACE DON'T PUT IT THERE EVER AGAIN
Seriously, some things more than others, and it is not logical, but some things, out of order, trigger beaucoup anxiety.
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