The thing therapy has helped me with in regards to that is feeling okay despite it all. Being content despite not having all of our wants and needs fulfilled is a valuable skill.
There’s only so much that can be done to meet one’s needs. There will always be wants and needs that go unfulfilled, it’s just the nature of being human. Being able to exist with that, without it causing you extreme distress, is a very valuable coping skill that’s lost in a lot of people.
This doesn’t mean eschew meeting your needs completely, but simply acknowledging that some may be actually impossible to fulfill right now, at least safely, and working on an actual viable plan, instead of panicking and doing whatever short-term fix seems handy.
Sounds like a therapist that just didn’t mesh with you. If they’re just doing routine maintenance and not suggesting ways to improve either they’re not suited to your situation, or there’s something else confounding the situation.
You don’t have to completely put on blinders to be content despite being without. You can see all of the things you’re missing, or actively working towards but not at yet, and not be thrust into the middle of an emotional response. This is simply the point of my statement.
I never said they didn’t. And I never said you have to be happy in the face of it. There’s a distinct difference between “content”, the word i used, and “happy”, the word you seem to hear.
Society fuckin sucks for the majority of people, I think we can all agree on that bit. And yet, a lot of people manage contentedness despite these absolute facts.
There exist things outside of our ability to control, directly or otherwise. Often, these things get in the way of our needs. You have 3 options in this case. Give up, ram into it with everything you have and fuckin hope it works, or accept it and find a way to be content despite the roadblocks.
Feelings of extreme loneliness. Accepting that, despite having a very real need (community, belonging, connection) not being met at the moment doesn’t mean that it ever will be, and I can actually be okay being uncomfortable, but still content.
Those items are a bit trickier for sure. There’s a biological need for them and so they can be pressing. There’s a certain bare minimum that yeah, you can’t just not have. Anything past that, though, past the absolute critical for life level, is something you can learn to be content with, learn to not desire more than, and instead just be thankful for the excess above starvation that you enjoy in this moment.
Hey, man, thanks for the kind words! I enjoy these kinds of conversations, I like to think I’m working towards making the world a better place, no matter how small. If one person resonates with what I’ve said, I feel accomplished.
“Content” simply means you feel as if you could live life with what you have. It doesn’t mean you can’t WANT more. It doesn’t mean you can’t hate how badly the system is bending you and others over. It’s simply a state of being that is, “at the end of the day, none of this is unbearable. I will continue living, and as such, there’s no need for an extreme emotional response.”
Drive, desire, fight… all of it can exist, and you can still maintain contentedness.
Man, I get it. I’m at that point, too. In a lot of ways society has failed all of us.
Society is also a large vessel that takes lifetimes to change. Essentially, the kind of thing one man can do barely anything about. Not that we shouldn’t try, but… Well, to quote Stephen King, “pray for water, but dig a well while you wait.”
I think the best way to describe it is, if I feel content, it’s a sense of stability within myself - a sense that I’m grounded, and going to get through. Some of my needs right now are going under-fulfilled, but that won’t be eternal. I’m uncomfortable now, but discomfort doesn’t mean I’m in a situation where I should panic and start grasping at the first possible way to fulfill my needs. Instead, I can be comfortable in my discomfort, think about what my needs actually are, and create a plan to fulfill those needs in a more healthy and sustainable manner.
I think you pretty well nailed my view of contentedness with your paragraph starting “if you’re lonely…”. That’s pretty much how I see it. It’s a state of being okay, despite some needs not being met in the moment. Tend to urgent needs, be ok with some less urgent ones sitting for a bit, accept things you have no control over, and work towards bettering your position overall, instead of sitting and wallowing in the self-pity mire.
Anecdotally, I played cyberpunk starting day 1 and didn’t experience a single bug, you’re just parroting what you read about and framing it as the average experience.
Isn’t that like… Literally the point of waiting for a review? Anyone can have a game work flawlessly when others are having massive issues. Some people may want to test that for themselves, but an increasing number just don’t want to deal, and will… Well, use the reviews to make a more informed decision.
The tolerance paradox is bullshit. Source: Daryl Davis, the black dude who converted a ton (like over 80) KKK members by just being a tolerant human to them.
You have to tolerate the person, not the message. You can say “you’re a valid human being” and “the stuff that comes out of your mouth is actually terrible” at the same time. Doing anything else pushes all of those valid humans with bad ideas together and makes a big echo chamber.
Benefit of the doubt is a huge deal. It’s entirely possible to enjoy music and have NO idea of the message, themes, content, etc. source: Pumped Up Kicks.
Edit to add: Iced Earth. Really fun power metal band. Loved a ton of their stuff, and then found out the bands lead was arrested at the jan. 6 riot. That stuff doesn’t really bleed into their music, and I was avoiding them for a while because of it, but at the end of the day, the music is good, and that’s why we listen to music.
The first sentence you posted is exactly the thread that line of thought leads down. Disenfranchised people need to be talked to, met with empathy from the people they’ve been told are The Other. That’s the only way to destigmatize the two from each other.
“they’d do that to us in a heartbeat” is both wrong (not every person who entertains these ideas actually wants to kill anyone) and also not even a good point. If you want to improve the world noticeably, you have to be BETTER THAN not the same as. Go talk to a nazi, actually understand what they think and feel, and figure out where that disconnect is.
With all due respect, with just how many people are literally calling for violence in this thread, no, I didn’t connect those dots either. If you’re actually truthful about not meaning they shouldn’t have human rights, I’d strongly consider editing your previous statement. If you leave it, you’re feeding into the hate echo chamber that you actually seem pretty opposed to. Words have got to be specific, if you’re going to speak in absolutes, or people WILL misunderstand or mischaracterize you.
This whole thing is disgusting. Nazis suck. So do people calling for violence or removal of rights from literally any human. Buncha Nazis in here, just against a kind of person it’s ok to be horrible to.
It’s the paradox of tolerance and it’s bullshit. Daryl Davis has converted more KKK members talking to them than anyone has with a fist.
Edit to add: killing Nazis doesn’t defeat fascism. You can kill people with weapons, but words are the armaments of ideas. You want to kill an idea, it’s through words.
My? Careful, don’t make such bold assumptions. Nazis suck, I’m with you on that. But do you actually not see the issues with what you said? Why are we assuming the individual has done something to hurt anyone, rather than just have some less-than-savory beliefs? It’s all very convenient, using the sins of a few in a group you hate to blame the whole group, right? I’d hate it if anyone else decided they hated a group enough to wish every member dead because of some small populations shitty actions. It’s a bit thought policey, and a lot fucking insane.
Oh snap, Nazis all died in ww2? Fuck why didn’t these guys get the memo?
People died in the war. Some of them were Nazis. But NAZIS themselves did not die. You can’t kill an IDEA by killing people. You kill an idea with better ideas, with kinder words, and with more compassion.
It’s a shit argument and it’s ABSOLUTELY thought policing. You can’t say someone will do something until there’s been something done. It’s just not how things work. Yes, that includes if they strongly believe that any specific group of people should be killed, for any reason, unless they’ve ACTUALLY KILLED A PERSON OR MADE AN ATTEMPT. Anything short of that? That’s called thought policing bud.
Unless you’re not talking modern-day Nazis. If you’re just talking about the WW2 Nazis that actively rounded up Jews and didn’t see any problems with it, well… Yeah, we went to war over that. It was one of the few good reasons for a conflict. That’s dead and done.
This thread IS full of a bunch of psychopaths, but it’s not the ones advocating for not-violence.
By all means, if someone’s already getting, or in imminent danger of becoming, violent, do what you have to to stop that. Anything else and you’re a murderous psycho.
Who said anything about not criticizing them? Jesus you are unhinged. The fuck you think I’m doing everywhere else? Making actual fucking arguments about why Nazis are bad, not just spouting “kill people kill people!”
Do you want to END Nazis or do you just want to be able to KILL Nazis?
That’s actually disgusting. Does he want it like this for some reason? Is there something in the past? Or is it just “penises will rape, that’s what they do”?
Sure. They didn’t completely rework multiple core systems, improve performance, or anything for people who didn’t buy the dlc. Same exact thing it was when it released. /s
Police spawning. The entire akill tree. Wardrobe, divorcing the armor stats from appearance. It’s a pretty drastically different game without the DLC from the product it was at launch.
Yeah, I was echoing the police spawning as a point of emphasis. Go look at the old and new skill tree before you say that. That’s as close to gameplay-effecting as you can get. And the wardrobe, yeah, it’s not directly gameplay but it’s definitely more in line with the lore of the world. Oh yeah, vehicle combat was added.
I just have a hard time committing so much time for the chance for something to get good. Same for anything else. People keep telling me to watch one piece, sorry not going to invest time in something I am actively not enjoying until it gets good X hours in. That’s not getting good, it’s Stockholm syndrome.
I disagree. A lot of epic tales grab you in the opening. In fact that’s a bit of a cornerstone of writing, grab them early. If there’s nothing for me to like in the first two hours of something, why should I assume it’s going to get better?
I haven’t read those books, but is there really nothing interesting in them in the first few chapters? No breaks from the norm, nothing to grab you and keep you invested? Tbf epic fantasy, yeah, not my genre but it seems so foreign to me, having it be THAT slow of a burn.
Nah, the moon is a straight shot, you can brute force your way there eventually. Baking is more akin to trying to get to your Uncle Tito’s, who lives in the wilderness. You have to follow a very specific set of esoteric instructions, and if you turn 43 degrees left, instead of 45, you’ll end up at the Tito’s vodka distillery instead of Uncle Tito’s. Which could be a fun experience, but it’s not what you were going for.
Dunno what that is, but legit answer: no, like sabbath. In Judaism, or at least certain branches, you’re not allowed to operate technology on Sunday. This can include not turning on your stove but (I’m assuming here) not putting food into it. I’ve heard of a similar cosmic loophole for laundry.
In Firefox, never. In some applications, they have the “lines per tick” for your scroll wheel WAY too low, like 1 per. In those applications I try to, but they inevitably have visual-only scroll bars.
This tracks with every other graphic option if the person doesn’t know exactly what they’re looking for, in my experience. Most options don’t have such a huge impact, and are more just “yeah, that feels a bit better, I guess” once you get past the basic, obvious stuff like resolution.
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