LordAmplifier

@[email protected]

one singular braincell :3
they / he / she

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LordAmplifier,

Walk on stage with this. The crowd goes wild, expecting the crustaceanest of crabcore that ever touched a human ear. Not a single note has been played, but the crowd is already separating for a wall of death. Drum intro.

0-3-5

LordAmplifier,

At all times :3

LordAmplifier,

They call me Kirby because I can make everything fit and swallow every time.

LordAmplifier,

Man, I just want to drive far, far away, or ride my bicycle or a motorcycle, or walk. Whatever it takes, just get away from here to a place where everything is better. I know that this place doesn’t exist, but I yearn for it with every fibre of my being, and I spend my nights restless with wanderlust that can never be satisfied.

LordAmplifier,

here comes the FUEL~

LordAmplifier,

(…) the mavens believed strongly that since there’s potential confusion over which meaning of since is meant, one should avoid since as a causal conjunction.

I see what you did there, Merriam Webster.

LordAmplifier,

sad -> sad and horny -> sad and sticky :c

LordAmplifier,

I’d love to add it into the mix, but I don’t have a keyholder, and doing it alone isn’t fun to me, unfortunately.

LordAmplifier,

My first laptop had Vista installed on it. It crashed every once in a while, definitely more often than any Linux install I’ve ever had (though this might also be because younger me downloaded all kinds of fishy files), but I still have fond memories of it because it was my first laptop :3

LordAmplifier,

I eat a lot of fibre and it’s a great feeling to be in and out in a minute

LordAmplifier,

FACT-CHECKING THIS MEMEAssuming a radically offensive Heatran: Heatran @Life Orb
252 SpAtk / 252 Speed - Timid nature
Fire Blast / Hidden Power [Ice / Grass] / Earth Power / anything And using sets provided by the Pokemon Showdown Calculator, Heatran could perform as follows (no terrain / weather / stat boosts): Donphan @Leftovers (“UU Offensive Utility”)
252 HP / 24 Atk / 148 SpDef / 48 Speed - Adamant nature

  • Heatran outspeeds Donphan and deals 74.4-87.7% damage with Fire Blast -> guaranteed 2HKO if the switch-in is predicted correctly
  • Donphan OHKOs Heatran with Earthquake Hippowdown @Leftovers (“OU Specially Defensive”)
    252 HP / 252 SpDef - Careful nature
  • Heatran outspeeds Hippowdown and deals 49.5-58.5% damage with Fire Blast -> potential 2HKO if the switch-in is predicted correctly and both attacks roll high damage (due to Hippowdon’s Leftovers)
  • Hippowdon OHKOs Heatran with Earthquake Garchomp @Rocky Helmet (“OU TankChomp”)
    252 HP / 252 Speed - Jolly nature
  • Garchomp outspeeds Heatran and OHKOs with Earthquake
  • If the switch-in is predicted correctly, Heatran deals 92.8-110.2% with Hidden Power [Ice], which is almost a guaranteed OHKO with Stealth Rock
  • More offensive sets with no HP investment are a guaranteed OHKO if the switch-in is predicted correctly Torterra (doesn’t really matter which set)
  • Heatran outspeeds Torterra, and even with maxed HP and SpDef and a +SpDef nature, Fire Blast deals 94.9-112.9%. Without the +SpDef nature, it’s a guaranteed OHKO
  • However, if Torterra gets to attack, Earthquake will OHKO Heatran Quagsire @Leftovers (“1v1 Stall”)
    252 HP / 160 Def / 96 SpDef - Impish nature
  • Heatran outspeeds Quagsire and deals 66.8-79.2% with Earth Power, a guaranteed 2HKO if the switch-in is predicted correctly
  • This Quagsire set usually has Bulldoze, which only deals 66.8-79.2% damage, but an Earthquake would OHKO
  • With Hidden Power [Grass], Heatran OHKOs. Even max SpDef EVs would only lower the damage to 89.8-106.8%, which is still a potential OHKO Gastrodon @Leftovers (“OU Specially Defensive”)
    252 HP / 252 SpDef - Calm nature
  • Heatran outspeeds Gastrodon and deals 65.9-78.1% with Hidden Power [Grass], which would be a guaranteed 2HKO, but Earth Power (if HP [Ice] is chosen) only deals 24.4-28.8%
  • This Gastrodon set usually has Chilling Water as its only offensive move, which only deals 30.3-35.9% damage. Were it to run Earth Power (or Earthquake with a Careful nature), it could OHKO Heatran. Mamoswine @Focus Sash (“OU Stealth Rock”)
    252 Attack / 252 Speed - Jolly nature
  • Mamoswine outspeeds Heatran and OHKOs with Earthquake
  • If Heatran predicts the switch-in correctly, it can OHKO with Fire Blast Sandy Shocks @Heavy Boots (“OU Offensive Pivot”)
    252 SpAtk / 252 Speed - Modest nature
  • Sandy Shocks outspeeds Heatran and OHKOs with Earth Power
  • If Heatran predicts the switch-in correctly, Fire Blast will only deal 85.5-101.6%, which makes an OHKO unlikely Iron Treads @Leftovers (“Uber Specially Defensive”)
    252 HP / 252 SpDef - Careful nature
  • Heatran outspeeds Iron Treads and OHKOs with Fire Blast
  • If Iron Treads has maxed out speed (e.g. the “OU Offensive” set), it will outspeed Heatran and OHKO with Earthquake Ursaluna @Flame Orb (“OU Swords Dance”)
    116 HP / 252 Atack / 140 Speed - Adamant nature - ability: Guts
  • Heatran outspeeds Ursaluna and deals 65.5-77.4% with Fire Blast, a guaranteed 2HKO if the switch-in is predicted correctly
  • Ursaluna can OHKO Heatran with Headlong Rush, and if Guts is activated, even an unboosted Facade might OHKO with 87.6-103% damage Clodsire @Leftovers (“OU Defensive”)
    248 HP / 252 SpDef / probably 8 Def I forgot - Careful nature
  • Heatran outspeeds Clodsire but only deals 39.9-47% with Earth Power
  • Cladsire can OHKO Heatran with Earthquake

Conclusion: Heatran heavily relies on predicting switch-ins correctly to stand a chance against most of these Pokemon. In a one-on-one without switch-ins, Torterra is the only safe win (assuming Fire Blast hits), a win against Iron Treads depends on its set, and a win against Gastrodon is only possible if Heatran is run with HP [Grass]. The meme therefore checks out. Let me know if I missed anything because I haven’t done any competitive stuff since Gen 5 :3

LordAmplifier,

When you were partying, I studied Pokemon VGC recordings. When you were having premarital sex, I mastered the Gen 4 OU and Uber meta. While you wasted your days at the gym in pursuit of vanity, I cultivated Pokemon on an old Heartgold cartridge. And now that the world is on fire and Team Rocket is at the gate, you have the audacity to come to me for help.

LordAmplifier,

holds you

there, there, my little star-shaped possum fuck-up :3

LordAmplifier,

Oh noes, they awe wicensed to kill kiss O//w//O

LordAmplifier,

Yeehaw, pardner :3

LordAmplifier,

Blahåj :3

LordAmplifier,

Your suit looks awesome! :D

SNOWBALL FIGHT! ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ (pretend they’re snowballs, there is no snowball emoji :3)

LordAmplifier,

It’s just a link, I’m sure it’s safe, what’s so bad abou-- OH HELL YEAH, E6 REPRESENT, MOTHERYIFFER

LordAmplifier,

I really hope the car is parked somewhere because she isn’t wearing her seatbelt. She’s very pretty though, with lots of cute spots and beautiful hair :3

LordAmplifier,

He says :D

LordAmplifier,

Wrong.

It’s a pokésona uwu

LordAmplifier,

I love how it went, plural you -> you all -> y’all -> all y’all. Dialects are awesome. Whenever I hear someone speak an unusual dialect, I want to feel their tongue with my hands to understand all the sounds they make.

LordAmplifier,

Aww, those are some very nice beans :3

LordAmplifier,

Wow, I did not expect this cat!

LordAmplifier,

Did you know that cat urine is toxic? If you inject about five litres into your veins, you will probably die.

LordAmplifier,

Back when I was trying to survive my first maths class in university (passed the exam on the third attempt and dropped out afterwards), they showed us how to prove that a+b = b+a because, in science, you can’t assume something is true just because it makes sense. That’s why I’m out here, educating the public uwu

LordAmplifier,

:3

LordAmplifier,

Today I’m gonna do the thing! Today I’m… nah, maybe tomorrow.

LordAmplifier,

That’s the one thing that kept me from going vegan

LordAmplifier,

the glowy beans are so cute, and they look very polite with that bow tie :3

LordAmplifier,

I DO BOTH MFER, FIRST I WAKE UP TO PISS, THEN I WAKE UP DEHYDRATED AF AND DRINK WATER THAT I’M GONNA PISS OUT AGAIN IN AN HOUR, IT’S A NEVER ENDING SISYPHEAN CYCLE MFER AROOOOOO

LordAmplifier,

I think woodruff is wood rough, or rough wood, so it’s probably big penis something forest-related because you can get lots of wood in forests uwu

LordAmplifier,

Even messy rooms can have a system. My desk is full of stuff, but it’s actually just three piles on three sturdy things (so they don’t collapse when you pick them up) that I need to move over to my bed to use my desk. I also need to relocate my Blahaj because he sleeps on my chair, but that’s it. Sometimes I need to move a second chair that has a bunch of boxes on it because I need to move it out of the way when I want to access my weights, so I put it in front of my desk. But it’s simple, really. My sister’s birthday present is getting in the way a bit, but that’s just a temporary issue. So were the plant pots that I always had to move across the room, they were just there until I finally felt like taking them outside, that’s not even three weeks of inconvenience. See? It looks messy, but it’s a very simple system.

LordAmplifier,

tbh I didn’t notice most of it until you drew circles around it. Yeah, that’s kinda messy. And I respect that you went through the effort to draw all the red circles uwu

LordAmplifier,

That’s right, I will not be shamed for my piss bottles 😤

LordAmplifier,

To be honest, I was being sarcastic with my last comment, but I really appreciate that you have such a compassionate attitude. I struggle with keeping my place clean and can only convince myself to tidy up for maybe an hour every few weeks, so I have sympathy for whoever took the photo in the OP. It’s far from problematic in my case because I just don’t have that much stuff, but I still feel ashamed when I look at a pile of boxes that I could’ve thrown away weeks ago or the layers of dust on my shelves. Even installing a new SSD in my computer (something I was really excited about) took me two or three weeks because, idk, I just couldn’t get up and do it even though I use my computer almost every day. Joking about it has become a coping mechanism.

Anyway, I’m rambling. Thank you for being so kind :3

LordAmplifier,

What a sad world we live in, where less work is actually bad for the workers :c

Shkshkshk, to 196
@Shkshkshk@dice.camp avatar

Dick Stallman Rule

@196

It is I, the great and powerful Arch Wizard of Mastodon. I have used my arcane magicks to post this to Lemmy. You must like, boost, or reply to this post within one day, or else I will manifest within your abode to install a GNU/Linux distro on your computer.

LordAmplifier,

Based beyond belief

sent from my Linux computer

LordAmplifier,

IT’S COMING

https://rapidswholesale.com/pub/media/catalog/product/cache/6e74679a076031c8fcf9d54b06ef32fc/6/A/6A529_2.jpg

LordAmplifier,

“I am not getting kissed, Skyler. I am the kisser! A guy opens his door and gets kissed and you think that of me? No. I am the one who kisses!”

LordAmplifier,

owo7

LordAmplifier,

I’d be down, ratatouille fans have some serious rizz

LordAmplifier,

And verily, there will come a time when I am no longer among you, for lo, another company has offered me better hours and a higher salary. If you love Me, make my notice period uneventful. And I will pray my procrastinating self, and He will give you half-assed documentation of my code, that it may abide with you forever – the Spirit of documentation, whom the world cannot receive, because it makes no sense at all; but you know Him, for He dwells in your servers and will be in you.

LordAmplifier,

KEEP BREATHING IN I BELIEVE IN YOU

LordAmplifier,

D:

LordAmplifier,

Excuse me, do you have a minute to talk about our lord and saviour, Rapid Spin

LordAmplifier,

This looks so much like a traditional painting, it’s amazing. The lighting, the colours, the texture, it’s all beautiful. You can really feel the calm it radiates, but also a kind of sadness.

LordAmplifier,

Aww, such a cute boy. I’d definitely go on a walk around a lake with him :3

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