@JeremyMallin@actuallyautistic never had to, telling the best version of the truth and omitting the least-charitable details (without omitting anything actually being asked) is generally good enough.
@JeremyMallin@actuallyautistic I always had problems at being great at interviews by masking my way through it, then they hire me and I can’t keep up masking for more than 15 min, so after starting the job I’d revert back to my real self and get fired for being different than the person they thought they hired. I wasn’t lying about my experience I was just bubbly and extroverted seeming. Made me good at sales though.
@ashleyspencer@JeremyMallin@actuallyautistic I've ran into similar issues. It's hard to keep up the appearance for very long. Although it's affected me more when I have really long interviews or have to deal with a lot of people at once (panels and similar), then after I get actually hired.
@JeremyMallin@actuallyautistic No, I've never lied on a CV or during an interview. It's not that I couldn't, I just wouldn't betray my own integrity. I also have a weird notion that if you don't get a position for the crime of being yourself, that's probably a good thing in the long run.
However, I suspect many interviews are a test of how well you can conform to the prevailing BS, so this approach is probably not the best way to get rich 😉
@JeremyMallin@actuallyautistic I have a compulsion towards excessive honesty, which I've had to learn to keep in check, in part by recognizing that a lot of organizations that want to appear benign are actually malign. Employers, in particularly, are literally "out to get you". So I don't lie when I fill out forms, but I don't provide information I don't feel the organization ought to have.
@JeremyMallin@actuallyautistic One problem I've had with resumes, in particular, is with including the fact I was a university student, but didn't graduate.
Often, I've had people mistakenly assume I graduated, and I feel I have to correct them, which I always worried made me look worse than if I didn't even mention it.
These days, employers in IT are outright hostile to education in the humanities, so I just don't mention my university education at all. There's no benefit.
@JeremyMallin@actuallyautistic job applications and such have correct answers you are supposed to enter, it's not really asking for your personal answer, it's a test on whether you know the correct answer.
@JeremyMallin@actuallyautistic i never lie. Lying about anything never made sense to me. 1 of my 2 kids lie, it's like the one thing that drives me up the wall. The only things our kids get in trouble for is intentionally hurting someone or lying. We didn't even lie to them about the easter bunny, tooth fairy, or santa. I seriously thought about being a whistle blower, and took info with me when i quit my job (it's public info, anyway, but need to organize it to show the story)
@JeremyMallin@actuallyautistic and yes, i think it held me back in my job. The higher ups didn't like when i would tell them the truth or correct them when they were preparing to testify to the regulator in a semi judicial hearing.
@JeremyMallin@actuallyautistic I dont lie. What I have learned over the years are boundaries. And there’s a whole lot a potential employer doesn’t need to know. Maybe not “never” but they certainly don’t need to know anything beyond what I make public until they’re willing to pay me to be in their employ, when it might help to know to be a better part of the team.
I can tell from interviewing if I might be comfortable on the team and that’s all I can hope to know.
I don't remember ever being asked about my health during a job interview. I was asked about it on day 1 of my current job, but they only asked if there was anything they needed to know -- they didn't ask for any signatures or certificates. Of course, in other countries, the law will be different.
One advantage of not having an official autism diagnosis and not having my name tied to this Fedi alias is that it's hard for an employer to find out until and unless I chose to tell them.
(At some point soon, I'll finish the process of splitting my Fedi presence in two. At that point, I'll change both my profile pictures and alter my writing style slightly on this account so that it's less like the style I use with friends and at work. It'll still be me.)
@nddev@JeremyMallin@actuallyautistic One reason to seek a dx, or at least seek a doctor who's willing to vouch for a dx, is in Federal hiring -- there are A LOT of positions on usajobs.gov for citizens and if you qualify for Schedule A hiring (like, say, you have a doctor willing to write a Schedule A letter just saying you qualify for Schedule A hiring)... you can bypass a whole lof of processing because an Agency can hire you directly.
This cut down my interviewing/hiring time SIGNIFICANTLY
I don't lie on those or other official documents. An application for health insurance asked if I'd ever smoked. Yes. Maybe half a pack in my entire life, but yes. My insurance broker - my mother-in-law at the time - changed my answer to no.
For a while, nothing in the world made me angrier than Shankar Vedantam insisting "everyone lies," like 100% of humans, and those who say they don't are lying. Fuck you, "brain expert." SUBSET of brains expert, maybe.
@JeremyMallin@actuallyautistic I've definitely had interviews where people seem disappointed that I didn't lie, and have had bosses who seemed super shocked at how honest I was on intake skills assessments. I don't see the point in lying.
My resume makes it clear that I learn quickly. If I don't know something now, I can shortly figure it out. If a company culture expects lying or padding of any kind, I'm just not going to be a great fit. If they want someone who is going to be ethical and rule enforcing like whoa, I'm your gal.
I've never lied on a job application, a CV or a tax form. I absolutely hated it when I made a minor mistake on my tax return (which didn't change the amount of tax I had to pay) and was treated like a criminal for it, because the authorities assume everyone is dishonest.
I'm fortunate with job applications and interviews, because most software developers are like me: we tell the unvarnished truth. Simply making eye contact and speaking confidently, rationally and fluently go an awfully long way in my trade. I can't prove it, but I suspect that a lot of undiagnosed autists work as, or adjacent to, software developers.
@nddev@JeremyMallin@actuallyautistic Having worked in tech for 25 years, strong agree. My experience is that almost everybody on the coding side of things is either autistic or ADHD (or both).
@JeremyMallin@actuallyautistic I might sound a bit nihilistic, but I learned early on that lying is expected and indeed required to function in the normies. And that everybody lies, no exceptions. Even us, sometimes. So I learned to lie and yes, it has smoothed over some bumps of living in the normieworld. Not saying it hasn't been stressful too, as it definitely is not natural to me either.
I usually don't lie outright, with CVs I polish them a bit, maybe put where my job actually was as my employer instead of the sl.. staffing company. I mostly lie by omission. I was a department head. True. The omission? The department had one person in it, me.
Of course, I have never lied in any official documentation, even by omission :blobcatcoffee:
@JeremyMallin@actuallyautistic Yeah, never lied, can't lie. Once lost a job because I was a little over-the-top in the interview making sure I mentioned the one part of the job description I wasn't 100% confident about.
As to whether it's a disadvantage, I'm not sure it is. For skills that are relevant to the job role they should be testing claims anyway, and for other skills does it really matter?
I do know people are already using chatGPT on job applications though...
@JeremyMallin@actuallyautistic technically I can lie, what I'm massively uncomfortable with is deception. It's the difference between saying "Actually both my ears have been replaced with tomatoes", which no one will reasonably believe, and actually saying something plausible but untrue.
I absolutely had to return and clarify that too 😂
@JeremyMallin@actuallyautistic lying is extremely anxious making for me. I have also been extremely traumatized by systemic long term lying while growing up, so other people being caught out for lying has a large impact on my ability to trust them.
I struggle to promote myself in an employment context due, in part, to an extreme concern about other people judging that I’m lying..
@JeremyMallin@actuallyautistic I think it does work against us in scenarios where people don’t know us or our work, though, as they assume everyone is lying…
@JeremyMallin@actuallyautistic
Not only have I never lied on my resume, but I’ve been accused of lying on it by recruiters. My resume is very good, and apparently is what the fakers try to imitate?
I got rejected from an honor society in high school because they thought I had too many community service hours; so, they assumed I was lying. I was not.
@JeremyMallin
I've never looked on any of those. In my mind, the worst that can happen if I tell the truth can't be as bad as the worst consequence of lying.
The benefit might be good, but that's a risk for people who really want to win at money I guess. @actuallyautistic
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