@Adventurer@sfba.social
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Adventurer

@[email protected]

I am somewhere today. Likely somewhere else tomorrow. Sometimes I sleep. #Ukraine #HumanRights #Life #Honor #Trees
#Travel #Explore #Photographs #Accept #Love #HumansArePeople #Everywhere #Nowhere She/Her

Profile header is a zoomed in mix of trees starting to become fall colors but mostly green.

Smaller profile image is a sailboat stuck against the Hawthorne Bridge in Portland. It is a white boat against a night sky and a dark river reflecting all kinds of different colored lights.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

housepanther, to actuallyautistic
@housepanther@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Do other people with #autism have difficulty this time of year? For me this is one of the loneliest times of the year. I struggle with my mental health during the holiday season.

Adventurer,
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@servelan @housepanther @actuallyautistic
Less daylight hours and more cloudy cover causes many people in all walks of life to experience seasonal affective disorder or (SAD). I never thought about the reduction of vitamin D because of this.

Susan60, to actuallyautistic
@Susan60@aus.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Has anyone heard from.., can’t remember her name & can’t find… Mikoada? Concerned.

Adventurer,
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@Susan60 @actuallyautistic
@hellomiakoda
Reaching out. I am going to be back in Portland around the 12th or 13th. I live in NW. I am a married woman in my 50s but I stay alone in pdx. If you need anything please feel free to reach out.

Adventurer, to actuallyautistic
@Adventurer@sfba.social avatar

@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic
People here on Mastodon have helped me so much. I wasn't good at masking and have been rejected so often.

I was a poker dealer for 25 years (Texas holdem) and that meant looking at the center of the table and watching everyone peripherally instead of making direct eye contact.

I got to old to continue and have a new job. I am on my second company in 2 years. I was going to quit from the first company but decided to try this one. I work in groups of teams on projects that can be resolved within a week. Or at least my portion of it. I have tried to check out books on making small talk and having conversations and there are not many out there. I have tried to ask people about themselves but I just fail. I talk to them when they are texting or I make too much eye contact. Blah blah.

My point is in following along I have learned to watch what other people do and copy them. If everyone is texting I pretend I am too. I am trying to limit my eye contact I was forced to learn.

magicalgrrrl, to random
@magicalgrrrl@neurodifferent.me avatar

community!

How do I make friends as an adult? I'm new to my area and don't have any local friends or community. Have been struggling with loneliness a lot lately.

Adventurer,
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@MickG59 @magicalgrrrl @actuallyautistic
I think they are saying that they are queer and find many people in the autistic community queer and therefore feel more at home in this community. Sort of like saying I am into ________ and I am autistic and I find a lot of people into ________in the autistic crowd so I am more comfortable here than just in the __________ crowd.

Susan60, to actuallyautistic
@Susan60@aus.social avatar

Question. Some dogs can tell if a person has cancer, presumably by their smell. Does anyone think that some autistic people might be more sensitive to such changes in body chemistry? Not as much as a dog, but more than most other people? @actuallyautistic

Adventurer,
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@Susan60 @actuallyautistic
I have a strong sense of smell and can notice odor changes but I don't always know what exactly is different.

aloopapu, to actuallyautistic
@aloopapu@toot.community avatar

@actuallyautistic what are the spoons I see referenced frequently.

Adventurer,
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@aloopapu @actuallyautistic
Spoons is a reference to energy levels. Google spoons and forks autism.

autism101, to actuallyautistic

Autistic masking behaviors vary from person to person. What are some of your masking characteristics?

image: @alittlepuddins.ie

#AskingAutistics #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

Adventurer,
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@nddev @cinnamon @autism101 @Bard @actuallyautistic
That's a really good point about the formal diagnosis.

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Good morning comrades.

For the next 24 hours, go ahead and ASK ME ANYTHING.

Autism, history, food, spirituality, coffee, gardening, home design, torah, mindfulness, or anything in between!

I'm at your disposal.

@actuallyautistic

Adventurer,
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@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
I have a question. I am possibly newly diagnosed. I rank very high on self-tests and get lots of feedback from some family members that I am likely (or very) autistic. Where I am having some confusion; and please forgive if I am stereotyping, is the possibility of being overly emotional or overly empathetic. I am a middle aged female and was an adult before I heard of autism, I am unaware of this diagnosis existing as a child for anyone. I was originally under the impression someone autistic didn't express emotions or communicate. I no longer believe this but am curious about the opposite expression of emotion. Such as overly emotional or overly empathetic. Do you have thoughts on this?

Adventurer,
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Adventurer,
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Adventurer,
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Adventurer,
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Adventurer,
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@brainpilgrim @stina_marie @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
I have a similar story about ADD

I had a diagnosis from my teen years that never felt right. I did not fit into the peer group with the same diagnosis. I constantly had my friends say I was at minimum ADD. So I decided to ask my shrink about checking me. He asked me if I did well in school. I said yes. He said I wasn't ADD then.

I fit in with my ADD friends but finally feel at home listening to my autistic and audhd peers.

It is truly amazing to go from feeling like a weird person who is better off alone to finding out I am just different from NTs, not the entire population.

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Please don’t forget that for every hypersensitive human there is also a hyposensitive one.

@actuallyautistic

Adventurer,
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@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
This really surprised me. I never considered this possibility. I have so many sensitivities that I knew others didn't have but it is a mind expanding thought that someone could have the exact opposite experience.

veroalgoz, to actuallyautistic
@veroalgoz@neurodifferent.me avatar

differentiating having sensory (over) load spoons, verbalization spoons or just having no spoons. a typical miserable dilema is when I feel I can't deal with talking or verbalising but still having energy and craving human contact (but most ppl get weirded out by "let's hang out and do something which doesnt involve verbalization").
I get frustrated when I try to explain this to others and I hear "oh I also need me time". it is not about being alone. it is the opposite. I want to see people, but talking is impossible. so I end up being alone and lonely.

Comments welcome.

@actuallyautistic

Adventurer,
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@veroalgoz @actuallyautistic

I really understand this, I think. If I am hearing you correctly would you find it acceptable to be in a group of strangers at a coffee shop or movie theater? I go to all kinds of places alone and believe all of us are having a shared experience at the same time but from different perspectives. They are part of my world for a moment in time as I am also part of their world. This is a satisfactory outcome for me. My old apartment had a large community room and I would often go sit in there and hang out on my phone. But if there was someone who saw me with a history of conversing I was able to make an excuse and leave.

BZBrainz, to actuallyautistic
@BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

Late-Identified A Starter Workbook—beginner's tool for adults—has been out for 6 months! Check it out, & if you already have, consider leaving a review. Thank you!

✅ Do you suspect you have spectrum disorder () & attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder ( )

✅ Are you still trying to identify your traits & describe your experiences to access support?

➡️ https://books2read.com/audhd

@audhd @Adhdinos @actuallyautistic

Adventurer,
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@BZBrainz @audhd @Adhdinos @actuallyautistic

I am going to buy it by Monday

PossiblyAutistic, to test
Adventurer,
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@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic
For me, things like loading the dishwasher, getting ready for bed, going to the grocery store I typically do the same way Everytime. I even park in the same general area Everytime. I fold towels the same way Everytime. Generally Everytime because obviously the dishes are not the same, parking spaces are not always open, grocery stores get rearranged. Today I hung a towel up different than usual. I did this on purpose because I had to wash it and I wanted to distinguish it from the other.

Adventurer,
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@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic
Here is something fascinating about dates. My ex-husband was born on the same day of the month (but a different month) as one of my daughters. My second husband was born on the same day of the month of my other daughter (again different month just the same day). Both of my husbands were born in the same month. Well, fascinating to me, lol. Helps me remember birthdays.

Adventurer,
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@PossiblyAutistic @axnxcamr @roryreckons @actuallyautistic

The midway point between your two conclusions is autistic. Did you do the tests about sensitivities such as sounds or clothing? They may have sounded more geared to females but still take it.

Do you have anything that causes you pain that doesn't bother other people? It's a pain I can't explain. Maybe high annoyance or agitation are better terms. I personally have a bunch of sounds that drive me straight up a wall. I have all kinds of clothes that bother me and wish wearing sweatpants wasn't considered tacky. Crowded places make me cringe.

I also have what my kids call peer review. They point out things I don't even know about and they tell me I am definitely autistic. This eliminates my doubt or imposter symptoms.

What would happen if you spent the next month trying to learn more ways to be autistic and learn ways of self-care and soothing?

Adventurer,
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@hlangeveld @PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic
Three kids total and two born on the same day of the month is fascinating. I wish I could remember how to check the probability of that happening.

Adventurer,
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@independentpen @PossiblyAutistic @axnxcamr @roryreckons @actuallyautistic
I do apologize. I meant to be kind. Sometimes I don't phrase things well.

Adventurer,
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autism101, to actuallyautistic

Autism and Sensory Issues:

Our microwave oven is a sensory nightmare for me. I always try to stop it before it reaches zero and begins beeping. I get extremely anxious over this.

What do you avoid?


@actuallyautistic

Adventurer,
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@autism101 @actuallyautistic
Bathroom fans. I am actively seeking one that works and is actually quiet. (Advice please).

And dentists. Drills. The sound my husband makes scraping his calloused feet with some kind of file.

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

More humans live in Autistic Burnout than previously thought.

But it isn't a foregone conclusion that your entire life will be spent in Burnout. Even if it's been decades.

Important to remember that Burnout is caused and sustained by lack of connection to your autistic self and a denial of your autistic needs.

@actuallyautistic

Adventurer,
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@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
This is the best explanation of me that other diagnoses did not really fit and medication never helped.

Susan60, to actuallyautistic
@Susan60@aus.social avatar

Okay late diagnosed & older autists. What do we do when we retire? I’m reasonably social, in a purpose driven way if that makes sense. My “special interests” have usually revolved around my current stage &/or work - parenting, studies, teaching etc. Retirement as a special interest? @actuallyautistic

Adventurer,
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@Susan60 @actuallyautistic

I am really good at traveling by myself and like to go to all kinds of places. I love taking photos with my phone and documenting my travels for myself. I add themes into my travels such as trying all the coffee shops in a town or trying a local coffee shop in each town if I move on quickly. Sometimes I am on my own salsa judging journey and look for the best salsa. Sometimes I want to visit every state park. Sometimes I look for cool street art or graffiti. I used to be into craft beers but I gained too much weight.

JeremyMallin, to actuallyautistic
@JeremyMallin@autistics.life avatar

How many fellow Autistics have never lied on a job application, never lied on a CV, never lied on tax forms? 🙋‍♂️

Is doing that expected? Is it required? Is not doing that handicapping us? Do you too feel almost unable to do that?

#AskingAutistics
#ActuallyAutistic
@actuallyautistic

Adventurer,
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Susan60, to actuallyautistic
@Susan60@aus.social avatar

I had a wonderful day with my oldest yesterday. We talked our heads,off, constantly distracted each other by going off on tangents, & compared notes on our experiences & observations of neurodiversity. (We’re both teachers.) They surprised by saying that they first noticed signs of my autism, without realising what it was, in their teens. Makes a lot of sense really, but wow! @actuallyautistic #ADHD

Adventurer,
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@Susan60 @actuallyautistic

Awesome. My adult kid keeps telling me she is providing me peer review and points out many behaviors I have.

samiam, to actuallyautistic
@samiam@lor.sh avatar

@actuallyautistic so many thanks to those who have made feel feel heard and welcome here in the past weeks. the story thus far: 41 years of "muddling thru" depression, anxiety, misc mysterious health problems, etc when one day a new friend (very rare!) shared with me that they are autistic, and respectfully asked me if i might be too.
this [re]kindled lots of thoughts and feels and sent me down a path of recognizing and uncovering some fairly autistic-seeming traits and behaviors that i had been ignoring or suppressing. i have lately been thinking of myself as "provisionally autistic" which is how i'm trying to walk this line between, one the one hand, not mentally framing Autism As One True The Explanation For Everything and stretching things to try to force them to fit; and, on the other hand, not giving in to Autistic Imposter Syndrome. i want "provisionally autistic" to be a comfortable in-between place where i can "let myself be as autistic as i am" without "trying to be autistic when i'm not" and just observe myself and see how it goes. if that makes any sense?

but (and this is a question mainly to all you late/recent adult [self/]dx folks out there, but of course also anyone else who wants to respond):
How do you KNOW?
i'm stuck in this place where lots of things seem relatable and plausible but there is no sense of AHA IT FITS. there's no THIS FINALLY EXPLAINS IT. i know it's early for me yet -- i've been taking this seriously for weeks not years -- and i probably have to be patient with myself . . . but ggghhhghg.
maybe i'm just venting? i don't know. i'm having a day.

Adventurer,
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@samiam @actuallyautistic
I am in the same exact boat. I feel like I am not being fair if I stake a claim to a narrative others have struggled to navigate because perhaps my struggles have not been as difficult.

But for the first time I feel ok about all my weird sensitivities. Especially sound and clothing. Or maybe things against my skin would be a better description than just clothing. If my sheets have a wrinkle or a crumb I am annoyed until I resolve it.

Adventurer,
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Sci_Fi_FanGirl, to actuallyautistic
@Sci_Fi_FanGirl@hessen.social avatar

Usually I am quite self-conscious, tend to people-please a lot and feel embarrassed after nearly every social interaction. I hide my true self mostly because I'm afraid people will reject me.

Yesterday though, I suddenly had this thought that I'm maybe not that pathetic after all, but actually a beautiful human being and that I want to be me.

I think that's a step into the right direction.

@actuallyautistic @allautistics
#actuallyautistic

Adventurer,
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GottaLaff, to random
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

1/...

is speaking. He's trying to sound humble, apologetic, respectful of cops, blah blah.

Amazing how they all "change" magically in front of a judge during sentencing.

Adventurer,
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@TCatInReality @GottaLaff

How many have recanted their bs remorse after leaving the courthouse?

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Most of the discourse on autism and in the community comes from a white Anglo perspective.

Most autistic people, however, are not white or Anglo.

Let's amplify the voices of the little heard majority of autistic people living outside of white Anglo norms.

@actuallyautistic

Adventurer,
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@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic

I have no objections to this. How? And where do women, white Anglo ones even fit into this request?

Autistrain, to actuallyautistic
@Autistrain@neurodifferent.me avatar

Today is one of these day with a small victory. Since, I'm diagnosed, I read a lot about autism. I like to tell part of it to my mom.

My mom is . She recognizes herself in what I'm telling, but don't like to speak about it. I understand. She had an awful life, and autism isn't an easy subject. I let her all the time she needs.

But, today, she said that it could be beneficial to her to ask for a formal diagnosis. The idea makes it way step by step.

@actuallyautistic

Adventurer,
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@Autistrain @actuallyautistic

Would you consider updating this post as events happen? I am a mother and have been having this same conversation with my adult daughter.

Adventurer,
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@Autistrain @actuallyautistic
Oh wow. Got it. No problem. I had no idea. Good luck to her. Tell her I am a woman in my 50s with high scores on online self-assessments and am chatting with people having the same life experiences I am. My adult kid is more versed in the traits, especially the more subtle ones and she can spot them in me easier than I can know. If she ever wants to chat I am open and non-judgemental.

hosford42, to actuallyautistic
@hosford42@techhub.social avatar

I'm . The sound of the train blowing its horn as it passes my house makes me cover my ears in pain. But the throbbing bass of the engine that causes a deep pressure in my chest from the vibration makes me feel happy.

When I was a kid, I used to crank up the bass of my parents' stereo and sit directly against the woofer to feel that pressure. They would always yell at me to turn it down. I've always loved that feeling.


@actuallyautistic
@neurodiversity

Adventurer,
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@Tooden @hosford42 @actuallyautistic @neurodiversity
How about bathroom fans? They drive me insane. I have some like the laundry room taped off so no one uses it. And the neighbors music. The music is not rap or anything terrible but the bass hurts me. I don't know how to ask them since they are not friendly but I can't get away from it.

Adventurer,
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@Tooden @hosford42 @actuallyautistic @neurodiversity
Thank you for this conversation. I have been confused on why some noises are actually painful but others are not.

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