@obrerx@actuallyautistic I've read many of those PTSD books in the past, and all of them were massively triggering. The Complex C-PTSD book caused a flashback and full on meltdown. I'd just be careful reading those books.
What's helped me the most was telling myself when I got reminded of someone who hurt me, "They're long gone from my life and can't hurt me anymore. I'm safe now. No sense in dwelling on it." Dwelling on the past was just continuing the abuse I endured because of them.
@housepanther@obrerx@actuallyautistic My flashbacks are bad when they happen. While my brain has erased most of my life, I remember some things, and what I do remember are things I don't need to think about. Addressing ptsd for me is a very bad idea. There's just SO much bad stuff that's happened to me. I wouldn't be able to function at all if I dwelled on what I do remember.
@ashleyspencer@obrerx@actuallyautistic I've found Clonodine to be very helpful for both flashbacks and for the night terrors. Maybe consider talking to your doc about it? Clonodine is actually a blood pressure med that is highly affective for PTSD-related symptoms.
@housepanther@obrerx@actuallyautistic I’m on some very good meds already that keep me perfectly fine. I worked through a lot of it on my own. Lots of positive self-talk and reminding myself I’m safe now.
@ashleyspencer@obrerx@actuallyautistic I am sorry so much bad stuff has happened to you. It's awful and one never completely recovers from PTSD. We just have to manage it as best as we can. 🤗
@housepanther@obrerx@actuallyautistic Luckily my brain erased most of it. There are/were people in my life who remember all of it, but as soon as they realized I have no memory of the events, they said it’s better that I don’t know so they stopped telling me things and talking about it. The stuff they told me I was horrified, but my brain was like nope going to erase this too. No idea what they said but I vaguely remember the shock and horror I felt.
I also would say The body keeps the score. It's more like a light academic book. It helps understanding how works PTSD and some therapies to help.
I also would say Wild by Cheryl Strayed. I don't know if it's totally about PTSD or traumatic grief. It's more about the recovery as a process. It was really interesting and beautiful.
@punkjackdow@obrerx@actuallyautistic my wife found What My Bones Know to me more relatable. bell hooks is also just generally a really good read for unpacking a lot of what's sick and needs healing.
Having someone trusted to talk to when reading either Body or Bones is a good idea, if you have PTSD each chapter is a trigger and you want regular and as-needed grounding.
@obrerx@actuallyautistic
I highly recommend Trauma Sensitive Mindfulness by David Treleaven -- more than any other PTSD / cPTSD book I've read, it recognizes that learning about the mechanisms and impacts of trauma can itself be activating to an already-prone-to-overwhelm nervous system. It gives the reader frameworks and tools to start better understanding and working with their nervous system right away, which for me really helped with retaining information and being able to go deeper. Like others I also found a lot of valuable info in Complex PTSD: From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker, but I think I got more out of it than I would have otherwise because I'd read Trauma Sensitive Mindfulness first. Complex PTSD also has some gender-related stuff in it (re: parental roles) that struck me as dated, but if you're able to take what serves and leave the rest there's a lot you may find eye-opening and helpful.
One more recommendation -- it's not a cPTSD book, but Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy has been like an instruction manual for me in learning how to re-parent myself. Before reading it, I couldn't actually imagine what having the support I needed as a kid in order to not develop cPTSD might have looked like. Now, when I'm having an emotional flashback or even just going through a challenging experience, Good Inside is a resource I turn to for guidance on how to be with myself in intense emotions as my own safe caretaker.
@dillyish@obrerx@actuallyautistic Thank you for the book recommendations! I've read the Pete Walker book you mention along with others on trauma but, never heard of "Trauma Sensitive Mindfulness". I shall definitely check it out, as well as "Good Inside", by Dr. Becky Kennedy.
@obrerx@actuallyautistic complex PTSD: from surviving to thriving. A bit long but you can also get it as an audiobook if that works better for you. Good luck :) I'm routing for you
@einbear@obrerx@actuallyautistic I loved that book (What My Bones Know). The author takes you through her explorations/attempts to heal from the acute emotional abuse and subsequent abandonment by her mother. I found it authentic, and her efforts commendable. She unearthed some gems and a framework on which to build a life. For me, I prefer the methodology of Janina Fisher explained in her book, "Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation"
Don't read it all at once. Read a chapter or less, then take some time to digest the info and see if it relates to you
The author's focus on traumatic events in youth and how those affect you later. My traumatic events happened in my 30' and 50's. I asked my psychologist if it was still germane and she said "Yes, trauma is trauma"
@obrerx@Nichtsdestotrotz@actuallyautistic For c-ptsd, I recommend Pete Walker's book on the subject. It's aimed at survivors of childhood trauma but adults might find some value in it as well.
@obrerx@actuallyautistic For me it had disturbing parts and parts of it are very scientific. I don't know what "tomb" means in this context, could you enlighten me? :blobcatthink: English is not my first language, sorry 😄
@Nichtsdestotrotz@obrerx@actuallyautistic Please be aware that this book can be traumatic to read and has vivid depictions of violence, war crimes, and other traumas. Many people are not recommending the book anymore due to those reasons. Be aware if you do read it that it is problematic at best due to those issues and others.
I know I have PTSD and cPTSD but with so many other things to explore I've ignored PTSD for far too long. This is ridiculous... how have I not explored this more??
I think I'm I have so much low self-esteem I don't think I deserve to understand myself. My god, this is an awful thing to see in myself.
Just a note: my trauma was childhood trauma, from a brother who terrorized me with strangely relentless continuous sustained attacks, pounding his fists into my skull while holding me down, as if trying to crush my head and kill me.
And my parents didn't know or chose to ignore it... so I lived in what felt like an unsafe environment. And I was also (undiagnosed) autistic... I didn't tell anyone of my brothers attacks, I was afraid to tell my parents, and my mother blamed me, the victim, in those instances she knew of when he hit me.
So any information that fits childhood trauma, sibling trauma, etc, as well as neglect from parents would be useful.
I can probably only afford to get just one of all these excellent recommendations. Walker's book seems the most applicable to me.
I suppose I could get some of them from the library. I'm so shut down from the world these days I don't want to deal with the social interaction of going to the library, and I like to take time absorbing books... but I suppose I could go there.
I feel the same. I knew there were traumatic events in my childhood (I have vivid reminiscences of things... The bark of a tree, the feeling of pain on my back... But everything else is blurry, a grey fog) but that's only when I saw the diagnostic criteria for cPTSD that it clicked. Some things I thought were conscious decisions and normal were actually trauma responses... That's rough. Good luck out there.
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