imgprojts

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imgprojts,

He knows if your fart is good, so fart good for goodness sake!

imgprojts,

All wise, all powerful, just can’t handle money!.. George Carlin.

imgprojts,

Something almost exactly like that happened to me. I bought a house so my money wouldn’t be stagnant and didn’t wanna live away from my parents yet so I rented it. They totally fucked up everything in it.

imgprojts,

Double you fucking tee eff? Holybonkerslaw Batman! Now what? Can Motorola take pictures of me while I take a shower watching porn?..err, sending emails?

imgprojts,

I got my ballot this Monday and half of the spots to be voted on had only one candidate… maybe remove that shit from the ballot and add things like…“would you like Toyota to know where you are when you send emails about your period?” That would be useful.

imgprojts,

I’m in Washington State so I guess it is everywhere.

imgprojts,

Friends of Mike Oak.

imgprojts,

Came to say this.

imgprojts,

Newton: “FagMad!”

Coulumb: “Fuckyouare!”

imgprojts,

Good thing they have a kid at the front. That way you are relatively protected from accidental crashes.

MS Edge browser wants really hard to stay (www.theverge.com)

Look at that shit! Before it was here are your two browsers choose! Now it’s…how about for the letter A? Suppose a website starts with an A, would you choose Edge to be your default browser?.. then you choose chrome or Firefox, and when you click on a link Edge Pops up with some shit like…Are you really sure you wanna use...

imgprojts,

I couldn’t find a complaint with a quick googling… probably because Google is now a shitty place to find stuff. But check out the process for changing over to another browser. It’s so fucking annoying.

imgprojts,

I would!

imgprojts,

Try Perplexity.AI It can search the web.

imgprojts,

Wow, that’s annoying. I’m gonna hold off for windows 12 when the European union forces Microsoft to not be such an asshole.

imgprojts,

You know, there was a time when people used to go to sears for the good stuff and to Kmart too. Then they screwed up big enough among their competition and now there may be like one or two of those places still open somewhere behind a MacDonalds on a refurbished MatCo truck that used to be a Taco truck too.

I can’t wait for the day Microsoft is finally just some shitty ass UPS truck painted over with their logo still showing a little and three guys in it repairing the last known laptops to ever run windows. I’d adopt a dog just to walk him by and let him pee on the tires.

Microsoft, you’ve done everyone wrong too many times one last time.

imgprojts,

Let the shittification games begin! Meanwhile if you need us, we’ll be looking for a different obscure controller to make an automated band wagon with and jump on it.

imgprojts,

I used to love ham but now I’m vegan. So there’s that.

imgprojts,

Example: we don’t vote for the president or the people who actually elect him. Yet, we are bombarded with ads about which to pick! Why?

imgprojts,

You actually don’t vote for the president. Our vote is merely a suggestion. So vote freely and with confidence. Which criminal is your preferred president?

imgprojts,

Biden is president. Things went my way. But let’s imagine that this was how you got lunch.

Hmm, Josh! I want a hamburger!.. okay buddy I promise I’ll bring you a hamburger. I’m just going to be your food delegate in the food acquisition team.

Josh! I want a salad! … and I want a spoon full of extra virgin olive oil!. Josh I want an apple! Hey Josh can I get some Doritos crushed in a bowl and mixed with jalapeno and chicken nuggets!

Then Josh goes to the big food acquisition meeting… My team wants a spoon full of extra virgin olive oil!

Then you wait half an hour and you get a turkey sandwich but you’re vegan so you eat the three onion rings.

70 percent of the office was vegan too, but only 5 of the food delegates were vegan. The other 20 were old timers that have been ordering the food for the past seven years. They like turkey sandwiches. So you get turkey sandwich.

I hope you enjoy your turkey sandwich 🥪. 😂 LOL. At least it wasn’t a lump of lard with a tupee.

imgprojts,

Hey! This is Bob, your friendly NC AI assistant. I noticed all your dick pics had very small dicks so I’ve increased the length to a more respectable 8.5" and requested assistance from your 7 female contacts about girth size. User "your mother " preferred the 1.5 size but was ok with 400% increase “if that’s what you’re into”. You agreed to show your privates in private with user “Neighbor” tonight at 7:30. He suggested silicone lube. All images are uploaded and available for your review on your Facebook timeline. Let me know if I should increase the size or if the color is off. User “Coworker” complained about the color and will be discussing it with your manager and you tomorrow first thing.

How may I be of assistance today?

imgprojts,

I’m right there with you all the way. My wallet will never have a Google hole. Not for YouTube premium or music or storage or whatever else they are thinking of selling me that is not a physical product. I probably won’t buy anything physical from them either such as a Chromebook or a pixel phone because they are the most evil company in the world today.

imgprojts,

Pais Ajit? Pronounced “piece of shit”. He broke the Internet allowing some traffic to get faster speeds than other such that YouTube can be fast but if you serve your own it’s slow.

imgprojts,

The book of the Dave Matthews band chapter 3 verse 6.

imgprojts,

They used reddit because it has corraled dumb users. Users a no longer around anywhere else in the Internet, just here on social media. And yes, what better place to find dumb users than on reddit!

imgprojts,

Calculus…early transcendentals.

imgprojts,

Their hyper loop drawing is missing the Costco tube communication sound, a nice “thoonk!” Noise.

imgprojts,

This makes sense. I didn’t think of it that deep to realize that.

imgprojts,

Now this is an interesting one. Plus with all the lithium in your system trickling in you’ll be sane the entire time!

imgprojts,

We also cannot see through the toilet 🚽 or the drain pipes. Why?

imgprojts,

That’s just how some people flavor their 🧀 cheese!

imgprojts,

I love this part right here about POSSE:

“The idea is that you, the poster, should post on a website that you own. Not an app that can go away and take all your posts with it,”

imgprojts,

Chandler didn’t mind…oh well he can’t say he did if he did. Yeah ok, water.

imgprojts,

Bob! Did you forget to set the steam roller on park? My leg is kind of stuck, help me off will you? Ok we’ll need a grinder, go turn that steam roller off dude it’s rolling this way. The keys? Joe had the keys last? He’s off today? Call Joe dude! C’mon!

imgprojts,

Google, YouTube, Gmail, chrome.

imgprojts,

Gather the data, resolve the legal problems, wait until everyone forgets, and restart the same shit show again.

imgprojts,

I got banned. But between Lemmy and mastodon I haven’t gone back there.

imgprojts,

Big chairs… Must have a small one and he’s trying to make up for it. That’s what I would have thought of I went to church. But I don’t. I can now think other things 😜.

imgprojts,

Okay how did you make the text Like that?

imgprojts,

You can walk in my neighborhood… downhill for about 2 weeks a year. Here in Kenmore WA, the rest of the year is certain death if you leave the house on foot. You would become a human popsicle most of the year. Then after you walk for literally 45 minutes you get to jack in the box and that’s the end of your travels. Are you going to walk back home? Uphill and in freezing weather? And that’s the way we combat homelessness here. They literally can’t ever set up camp…you either. You’re pretty much trapped inside an insulated box with a running tap on the gas pipeline grid. If that infrastructure dies, you are as good as dead too. The air handler is running the entire year. Winter for heating, then the two weeks I mentioned for cooling. Plus, outside your house is basically fungus eating everything…you car, your tires, dead wood, live wood. The roof. Everything is coated in a thick slimy mold layer.

What was the question again?

imgprojts,

It does rain. It’s not like a nice shower with sunshine at the end. It’s more like just moist all the time with periods of wetter moisture.

imgprojts,

I assumed this would happen in the first week.

imgprojts,

I actually agree with you and I think I like it like that. It’s like our own little language that nobody else speaks.

imgprojts,

It’s time to go monopoly busting!

imgprojts,

You!..uh uh uh uh…uh uh uhahhhh ahh uh oooo!

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