As another analogy, did you know that circulatory systems carrying blood can vary among humans. There is a "normal" type and there are also variants. Perfectly healthy, perfectly capable of carrying blood where needed, but different. I only know this because one of my kids has a variant.
The term “self-diagnosed” developed wide acceptance and use prior to my realization that I am autistic. I honor and value the history of my communities of autistics by understanding the meaning being communicated by that term. I do not try to change anyone’s use of that term, but I do not use it myself. I share this here in case others have similar ideas or want to discuss.
I strongly believe that no one is entitled to know any diagnosis of another. That information can be shared freely by the person diagnosed but should never be required. This goes for autism, mental health conditions, pregnancy, HIV infection, and even COVID infection.
Diagnoses are tied to medical, psychiatric, and educational institutions that perpetuate racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, classism, eugenics, and more. The existence of well-meaning professionals and the benefits of sharing commonly understood categorizations do not eliminate the danger that can be associated with knowledge if diagnoses. Thus, every individual should have full control over who has access to that knowledge, in order to maintain agency over their own lives.
It is my best guess that I would meet the current diagnostic criteria for ASD. If I were to say that I am self-diagnosed, that would be what I mean. But I do not say that. Now that I understand what autism is, I do not care whether I meet the criteria for ASD. I simply communicate that I am autistic. How others interpret that communication is up to them.
@autistic[email protected]@actuallyautistic@allautistics
I am empathetic to the curiosity and desire to know about a person's diagnostic status and possibly associated identity labels. I don't mind people asking and I don't mind sharing when people ask - in large part because I have social and physical security (employed married cishet white guy). But I don't ask this of others.
Yes of course. Love is a feeling/emotion that, as human beings, we are more than capable of experiencing. Alot of us may show our love in "our unique way" (perhaps by giving you our time and knowledge instead of heartfelt declarations) but that doesn’t mean that we don’t feel it just like others.
@actuallyautistic@AutisticAdam
There are so many different ways to question whether we are human, aren’t there? Can we speak? Do we feel? Can we experience empathy? Can we love?
All of those questions are ways of policing who will be treated as human.
After taking a bite of corn picked from the backyard which had a flavor and texture which was both unexpected and offensive, to the point where I could not swallow and had to immediately spit it out.... I'm reminded of how food was such a point of anxiety for me as a child, vegetables especially.
I hated eating apart from my parents as a child. My parents had endured enough dinnertime related meltdowns to know not to press when it came to new foods if they wanted to have a peaceful dinnertime, but other relatives and other people's parents were a nightmare. I never knew what seemingly nice adult was going to turn into a bully on me at dinnertime and try to force a vegetable and refuse to take 'no' for an answer. Even worse if there were peers who didn't have food aversions and were accustomed to rules like "you must try a bite of everything on your plate" who would join in with their peer pressure. I don't know how many meltdowns I had as a kid due to being afraid to eat a food an an adult taking it to be a power struggle.
It took me until well into my 20s to be able to expand my palate to include more vegetables than just raw bell peppers and celery, and even still.... I have a hard time considering most vegetables food because of days like today, when I bit into something and it wasn't quite right.
@spika@actuallyautistic
My relationship with food resembles serial monogamy. I am loyal for a long time. But eventually we decide it is best to taste and be tasted by others and then we part ways (although we do get together again on occasion).
Conducted an experiment today, in asking for accommodation.
Hubs does his laundry Saturday, and I do mine on Sunday, but that means I'm cooking my lunches and doing laundry on Sunday - stressing me out. He's off on Friday, so I said dealing with both laundry and cooking each Sunday is stressful, and I'd like him to do his laundry on Friday. I'll do mine on Saturday.
He agreed. No argument, no hassle, he just agreed. Experiment successful.
I've posted my opinion about the new hashtags, in the following article. I've prevented commenting directly on that article, because unfortunately the ActivityPub plugin makes a mess of it, when you have replies to replies.
(Actually... I'm not sure whether the plugin will prevent people from commenting in the fediverse... oh well.)
@yourautisticlife@actuallyautistic
Fortunately, hashtags are non-rival. The use of one hashtag imposes no barrier or additional cost on the use of another hashtag. There is no scarcity in hashtag space. And in the end, multiplicity is one of the features of our community I value most highly.
@actuallyautistic@autisticbookclub@autistic[email protected] I love learning about what fellow autistics experience when using hashtags or groups as a way to connect and share. I also love hearing about our valuable community history. More of that, always, please!
I hate reading fellow autistics criticizing the ways that other autistics are using hashtags or groups as a way to connect. Less of that, boo!
By the way, "I use this because I like this and not that" or "when I use that I am uncomfortable about what it implies to me" - those are not criticisms. Criticisms are "It will work best if autistics only use this" or "autistics should not use that".
My #ActuallyAutistic friends, if you would be so kind to check out this post…
For the past decade and a half, I’ve already been treating most online content as “noise and not information.”
How has it been for you?
I’m saying this because not only this new AI hype was ridiculous to be since it’s beginning (because of course I was way ahead of the general population in following the advance of LLMs for the past five years), even way before that online content and discourse had already degraded into a never ending stream of buzzwords and marketing gobbledygook. To me at least.
So I’m imploring @actuallyautistic peeps, how long since you have been (if that is the case) disillusioned with whatever online content had to offer?
For anyone having issues with the #ActuallyAutistic hashtag, there is also #AllAutistics and @allautistics (the latter being a recently created group that you can follow and post to).
They are intended for anyone who is (or thinks they might be) autistic (formally or self-diagnosed).
@ratcatcher@FrightenedRat@allautistics@actuallyautistic
Saying "I think the meaning is clear enough" implies, to me anyway, that you think the meaning is clear enough for everyone to understand without any confusion what you mean it to say. With that interpretation, correct or not, the statement would be a form of claiming to speak for others. This is one of the reasons I have not chosen to use the hashtag. However, I understand that not everyone will comprehend it the same way.
My best practice is to try always to be explicit, no matter what hashtag I am using, and state my understanding or experience with a clear limitation that my statement applies to me. It's more work to do that, but my experience online is better when I do.
I'm finding that as I'm becoming more accepting of my own neurotype, I'm having an easier time differentiating what is more difficult for me vs what is easier. Similarly, I can now be increasingly confident in my coping strategies against burnout.
One thing I'm having more difficulty with is the sense of safety. Each day, I'm feeling more and more unsure of my safety within the world.
Accepting that I'm #ActuallyAutistic helps with my self acceptance, therefore with my self-care but it also drives home the fact that I'm fundamentally different, and certain problems I keep having with life are still insurmountable, even though they are not "my fault" anymore.
I don't know exactly where I'm going with this. I guess I'm trying to ask how do people of the autistic community handle the vulnerable position the acknowledgement of one's neurodivergence puts them in.
@CynAq@actuallyautistic
My experience has been very similar. One of the most difficult things for me emotionally was the realization that my vulnerability always existed, even when I was not aware of it.
When I was in a jury pool, we each had to state our profession and any time we had been a victim of a crime. Many folks had no crimes and some had one or maybe two. I had several. I just thought maybe I was a statistical anomaly.