When #autistic adults begin their journey of unmasking and honoring their autistic selves there will often by those pushing back and trying to keep us down.
@actuallyautistic
At work, we had a designated quiet space. Today I learned they reverted it back to a conference room though we have many, mostly unused. It was an emergency decompression space. When I spoke up about this loss, I was told, “If someone has a problem with bells & whistles they probably don’t belong in a hospital.” They didn’t realize it was me. “Of course you belong here—you’ve been here forever—we all have to suck it up. We’re all burned out.” #autistic#burnout#audhd
I remember getting this 5 star review from Dr. Nick Walker. Nick has been one of the leading minds of the neurodiversity movement for over two decades. Her conceptualisation of neuroqueer theory has been groundbreaking.
My book is available in most territories, but do let me know if you have difficulty finding it 😊
The phrase "burnt out former gifted kid" has always given me the ick, but there are unique challenges/issues/traumas related to that experience that tend to come up in #autistic discussions and I've never encountered a good description.
Proposal for a slightly less icky alternative:
✨ burnt out former high achiever ✨
@actuallyautistic Do other people with #autism have difficulty this time of year? For me this is one of the loneliest times of the year. I struggle with my mental health during the holiday season.
@housepanther@actuallyautistic I think there are numerous external societal pressures to be 'merry', which with a change in the amount of light you're getting (taking your vitamin D? it helps) combine to make it harder to be nominally cheerful. Poverty doesn't help, if that's your situation; neither does being alienated from family or not having much in the way of family to celebrate with. Common problem (me, too), and I don't think #autistic people are any less prone than allistic folks.
When minority groups are facing a decline in their well-being due to real problems that affect their group, no amount of positive thinking will make that go away.
It is completely unreasonable to ask people to think positively about their lack of privilege in a situation.
I've been thinking about gamifying the process of making new friends in my city. Kind of like a #LARP but your character is just yourself, and you earn points for showing up to small group events. Extra points for helping organize gatherings and coming up with creative ideas for people to get to know each other better.
...I've been thinking about this for over a year, maybe someday I'll have enough energy to actually start it.
I'm speaking here as an #autistic person, my score is 7 out of 10.
Also note:
I've heard a lot of good things about this.
This was released 10 years ago.
Those said and considered:
The show is not about the autistic person, or #autism for that matter. Autism was only used as a literary device to create a drama, like most other shows (be it Asian or Western) where there is an autistic character.
There was an excessive emphasis on "dumb", "stupid", and "idiot". Instead of it making people emphatize, it makes an audience hateful.
None of them actually showed that they finally understood autism and autistic people. To the very end, it was all about "do this" and "do that" so people will accept you and respect you. Sure, this is a common problem with society, however, should they have ended it that way? People will unconsciously think that's the proper way. It is not acceptance, it is forcing an autistic person to be "neurotypical".
And yet, 박시온 (Park Shi On) said in the last episode that it hurts him more when he's trying to remove his difference. But the people around him still acted the same way to end. There's a disconnect there.
The female lead is a prime example of a lover who doesn't understand a single thing about autism and autistic persons. She never showed any sign that she's doing her best to understand him, nope, instead she's doing her best to make him a "normal" person.
Yes, that's how it is in the real world. I've been in such a relationship. However, why leave it that way? She want to do things her way to the end. She will eventually get tired and quit. They will have a lot of fights. 시온 (Shi On) will just keep doing the same thing, keep quiet, say it is okay, say he is not mad, because he is always the one doing the "understanding".
What they did was to only validate that this relationship is doomed to fail instead of showing how a relationship with an autistic person can be if done properly.
The entire show, it was 박시온 who did the understanding and adjustments. Basically, the show taught us that autistic people should mask, mask, mask, and mask more. That no one will accept you unless you "get over" your autism (or in other words, mask your autism).
Conclusion:
While it did show the discrimination, stereotype, and prejudices against autistic people.
While it did capture the traits and quirks of an autistic person well.
I cannot recommend this show at all because it does more damage than in helping the autistic cause.
If I watched this when it was released in 2013, yes, I would say the same thing and rate it similarly. I'm sorry.
Just watch 이상한 변호사 우영우 (Extraordinary Attorney Woo).
I am still a little different from other people.
I speak and act a little differently.
So I tried very, very hard to eliminate the differences, but I couldn't do it.
The more I tried, the more it hurt.
So I thought I'd always be different until the day I die.
But many nice people filled in the gap for me.
And that is how I am standing before you today.
Thank you for filling in the gap.
Thank you for not avoiding me.
And thank you very, very much for your love.
I'm going to throw this out there and it may sound a bit controversial, but keep in mind I have nearly 20 years's experience as an entrepreneur. Is there ANYONE who works with #neurodivergent business owners or #ActuallyAutistic business owners who don't just regurgitate the same allistic/neurotypical "marketing advice" that's sold all over the groups and "free offers"? Because I'm not seeing anyone doing anything different from the NTs. @actuallyautistic@actuallyautistics
@KitMuse@actuallyautistic If I need something specifically geared towards me as an author, I may look to my mutuals within the newly created Neurodivergent Publishing Conference (NPC) for recommendations/referrals. The best and most actionable advice I have received has come from my #autistic and #ADHD friends/entrepreneurs, who discuss business with me ad nauseam.
It's so frustrating that I can just about function "normally" for a year max and then everything goes to shit, regardless of what I do, what's been happening, etc.
@willaful@alexisbushnell@actuallyautistic making a practice of building in buffer & recovery times has been challenging, but some of the better work that I’ve done to reduce the frequency shutdown and meltdowns. Sometimes I knowingly forgo this practice—and pay the cost, but I do so with informed consent. It is so wonderful to hear that you were teaching this to your kid. #autistic#autism#actuallyautistic#audhd
How do we get someone like Rebecca Watson to debunk #ABA and expose the billion dollar industry based on junk science psychology that abuses #autistic kids until they conform to neurotypical social norms at the cost of their own mental health and well-being?
ABA tldr: ABA is #AppliedBehaviorAnalysis and is gay conversion therapy for #autism. That's not just a metaphor - they are the very same thing used for different socially unacceptable "conditions". Both ABA and conversion therapy were created by the same person, Ivar Lovass, and use the same methods. Those training methods are so terrible they are literally not legal to use on dogs, and conversion therapy itself is illegal in many countries and US states. If any reasonable standards were applied, ABA would also be illegal.
I have tried to get journalists of all stripes interested in doing an ABA exposé, but even the ones who get interested never seem to be able to make it a priority. It's easy to deprioritize ABA reporting when there's no market for it, and even stories about routine physical abuse and electric shock torture of autistic kids at #JudgeRotenbergCenter don't break through, so I get why journalists don't bother. But we desperately need reporting on ABA that debunks the current mythology that it is helpful and justifies it being the only therapy for autistic kids that medical insurance will cover.
An ABA exposé segment by John Oliver could change everything, but he'll never do it because he's buddies with Jon Stewart who is a supporter of ABA and raises millions of dollars for ABA promoters like AutismSpeaks. (Surprise, Jon Stewart has an autistic son. It's often the autism parents who drink the ABA kool-aid because it lets them get their kids under control, and they don't know any better. Which is why we need reporting on it.)
We have four months until April, the dreaded Autism Awareness Month. Wouldn't it be nice if next year the month was about banning ABA instead of raising money for it? Anyone know anyone with a platform who is up for helping millions of autistic kids avoid a childhood of medically-approved abuse?
As a kid, I used to tell people, “I can’t do things too many times in a row.” I decided 2 days in a row was the most I could do any one pleasant or enjoyable extra thing—play a game? Get my favorite particular DQ treat? Somewhere past that threshold was routine & meltdowns if I could not have the same everyday or if I had too much fun. My current personal work is identifying maladaptive coping strategies for meltdown management or prevention. #actuallyautistic@actuallyautistic#AuDHD
@actuallyautistic@audhd
Writing does open up my ability to communicate in a unilateral direction. Unilateral isn't quite right; my writing is like a cell with a semipermeable membrane. All are welcome to try to enter to create conversation, but by design, only certain things get through and can be used to create. #AuDHD#actuallyautistic#autism#autistic