@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

Gtmlosangeles

@[email protected]

Old queer cis white guy (Chinese by marriage), proud dad of 3 LGBTQ superstars - 2 are autistic, like me.
#ProtectTransKids
#LandBack
#BlackLivesMatter
#ActuallyAutistic
#ZeroCOVID

  • profile pic: fancy espresso cup and saucer

I block very large instances.
Toots denying or minimizing COVID and toots with undescribed images are ableist, as are boosts of those toots.
Do not come near me with “intention” this, or “not all” that, or Harry Pitter anything. This is not my first rodeo.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

JeremyMallin, to actuallyautistic
@JeremyMallin@autistics.life avatar

I wonder why there is a high comorbidity of issues and . 🤔

I myself have had strong acid reflux since my mid twenties.


@actuallyautistic

Gtmlosangeles,
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@anomalon @JeremyMallin @actuallyautistic

As another analogy, did you know that circulatory systems carrying blood can vary among humans. There is a "normal" type and there are also variants. Perfectly healthy, perfectly capable of carrying blood where needed, but different. I only know this because one of my kids has a variant.

https://www.visiblebody.com/blog/anatomical-variations-of-the-circulatory-system

Gtmlosangeles, to actuallyautistic
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

The term “self-diagnosed” developed wide acceptance and use prior to my realization that I am autistic. I honor and value the history of my communities of autistics by understanding the meaning being communicated by that term. I do not try to change anyone’s use of that term, but I do not use it myself. I share this here in case others have similar ideas or want to discuss.

I strongly believe that no one is entitled to know any diagnosis of another. That information can be shared freely by the person diagnosed but should never be required. This goes for autism, mental health conditions, pregnancy, HIV infection, and even COVID infection.

Diagnoses are tied to medical, psychiatric, and educational institutions that perpetuate racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, classism, eugenics, and more. The existence of well-meaning professionals and the benefits of sharing commonly understood categorizations do not eliminate the danger that can be associated with knowledge if diagnoses. Thus, every individual should have full control over who has access to that knowledge, in order to maintain agency over their own lives.

It is my best guess that I would meet the current diagnostic criteria for ASD. If I were to say that I am self-diagnosed, that would be what I mean. But I do not say that. Now that I understand what autism is, I do not care whether I meet the criteria for ASD. I simply communicate that I am autistic. How others interpret that communication is up to them.




@autistic[email protected]
@actuallyautistic
@allautistics

Gtmlosangeles,
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@autistic[email protected] @actuallyautistic @allautistics
I am empathetic to the curiosity and desire to know about a person's diagnostic status and possibly associated identity labels. I don't mind people asking and I don't mind sharing when people ask - in large part because I have social and physical security (employed married cishet white guy). But I don't ask this of others.

ScottSoCal, to actuallyautistic
@ScottSoCal@computerfairi.es avatar

@actuallyautistic

Conducted an experiment today, in asking for accommodation.
Hubs does his laundry Saturday, and I do mine on Sunday, but that means I'm cooking my lunches and doing laundry on Sunday - stressing me out. He's off on Friday, so I said dealing with both laundry and cooking each Sunday is stressful, and I'd like him to do his laundry on Friday. I'll do mine on Saturday.
He agreed. No argument, no hassle, he just agreed. Experiment successful.

Gtmlosangeles,
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic
The Accommodation Police will be there shortly to arrest your husband. /s

spika, to actuallyautistic
@spika@neurodifferent.me avatar

After taking a bite of corn picked from the backyard which had a flavor and texture which was both unexpected and offensive, to the point where I could not swallow and had to immediately spit it out.... I'm reminded of how food was such a point of anxiety for me as a child, vegetables especially.

I hated eating apart from my parents as a child. My parents had endured enough dinnertime related meltdowns to know not to press when it came to new foods if they wanted to have a peaceful dinnertime, but other relatives and other people's parents were a nightmare. I never knew what seemingly nice adult was going to turn into a bully on me at dinnertime and try to force a vegetable and refuse to take 'no' for an answer. Even worse if there were peers who didn't have food aversions and were accustomed to rules like "you must try a bite of everything on your plate" who would join in with their peer pressure. I don't know how many meltdowns I had as a kid due to being afraid to eat a food an an adult taking it to be a power struggle.

It took me until well into my 20s to be able to expand my palate to include more vegetables than just raw bell peppers and celery, and even still.... I have a hard time considering most vegetables food because of days like today, when I bit into something and it wasn't quite right.

@actuallyautistic

Gtmlosangeles,
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@spika @actuallyautistic
My relationship with food resembles serial monogamy. I am loyal for a long time. But eventually we decide it is best to taste and be tasted by others and then we part ways (although we do get together again on occasion).

Gtmlosangeles, to actuallyautistic
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

I like the idea of definitions. Exploring autism has, for me, involved diving deeply into several definitions of several terms. The meanings to me have changed a lot in this process and may change again in the future. I have drawn from lots of sources and also from internal reflection.

For now, I wanted to share a partial list (it started out as two words, but then autism). I would love to hear any thoughts about any of these, including community history and personal experience. TIA.

@autistic[email protected] @actuallyautistic @allautistics

  1. Allistic – not autistic.
  2. Autism Spectrum Disorder – a diagnosis.
  3. Autistic – a neurotype categorization referring to identification, not diagnosis, for people who rely far more heavily on building out from specific experience than adopting in from social contact than allistics.
  4. Certification – a communication from a socially dominant institution that an individual has demonstrated through their behavior the likelihood of providing specific services to others in a manner likely to benefit those with power and privilege.
  5. Cognition – Processing of external and internal stimuli into frameworks that may be associated with behavior and/or internal recognition.
  6. Communication – behavior by one sentient being intended to alter the cognition and/or behavior of another.
  7. Development – a prescribed timeline of behaviors that dominant social institutions determine to be a desirable optimal outcome.
  8. Diagnosis – the categorization made by one or more individuals, all certified to practice education and/or medicine, that another individual fits into a specific framework for interaction and access to resources.
  9. Education, or “Formal” Education – the institutional framework for sorting humans into categories based on the perceived likelihood that an individual will grow to benefit those with power and privilege.
  10. Functional label – an institutional (diagnostic) categorization of individuals for the sole purpose of allocating different sets of resources for different categories.
  11. Gifted – the subset within any neurotype of those certified as having high intelligence.
  12. Identification – an internal transition that a person experiences: from not knowing the category of something or someone to being able to place it or them into a category.
  13. Identity – the label a coherence of cognition chooses to describe themself or an aspect of themself, along with the meaning that individual intends to be associated with the label.
  14. Intelligence – a measure of the ability of an individual to display behavior leading to the perception that the person will contribute to power and privilege more through cognitive than through physical labor.
  15. Neurofabulous – the identity label intended to mean a person with distinctly individualized cognition who celebrates and warmly embraces that cognition.
  16. Property – a mutual social convention guiding cognition about how different individuals may use something.
  17. Resources – material items and/or behavior, whether or not categorized as property.
  18. Self-diagnosis – an identity label that borrows reputational social credit from the term “diagnosis”, in that it is intended to convey two ideas: 1) I made the decision about my category myself, and 2) my decision is equally as valid as a decision made by individuals certified to practice education and/or medicine.
  19. Support – natural and mutually beneficial interaction among people that would flow comfortably and in abundance but for the social definitions of property that direct interactions to benefit those with power and privilege.
  20. Timequeer – – a neurotype categorization referring to identity, not diagnosis, for people who experience the flow and perception of time in a manner distinct from a linear social chronology.
AutisticAdam, to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

Can someone who is autistic love ?!

Yes of course. Love is a feeling/emotion that, as human beings, we are more than capable of experiencing. Alot of us may show our love in "our unique way" (perhaps by giving you our time and knowledge instead of heartfelt declarations) but that doesn’t mean that we don’t feel it just like others.

@actuallyautistic

Gtmlosangeles,
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@actuallyautistic @AutisticAdam
There are so many different ways to question whether we are human, aren’t there? Can we speak? Do we feel? Can we experience empathy? Can we love?

All of those questions are ways of policing who will be treated as human.

Gtmlosangeles, (edited ) to actuallyautistic
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@actuallyautistic @autisticbookclub @autistic[email protected] I love learning about what fellow autistics experience when using hashtags or groups as a way to connect and share. I also love hearing about our valuable community history. More of that, always, please!

I hate reading fellow autistics criticizing the ways that other autistics are using hashtags or groups as a way to connect. Less of that, boo!

By the way, "I use this because I like this and not that" or "when I use that I am uncomfortable about what it implies to me" - those are not criticisms. Criticisms are "It will work best if autistics only use this" or "autistics should not use that".

Gtmlosangeles,
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@actuallyautistic @autisticbookclub @autistic[email protected]
I had so many errors in the post. Glitterbomb. Good thing I can edit.

CynAq, to actuallyautistic
@CynAq@neurodifferent.me avatar

https://mas.to/@carnage4life/111068731239872770

My friends, if you would be so kind to check out this post…

For the past decade and a half, I’ve already been treating most online content as “noise and not information.”

How has it been for you?

I’m saying this because not only this new AI hype was ridiculous to be since it’s beginning (because of course I was way ahead of the general population in following the advance of LLMs for the past five years), even way before that online content and discourse had already degraded into a never ending stream of buzzwords and marketing gobbledygook. To me at least.

So I’m imploring @actuallyautistic peeps, how long since you have been (if that is the case) disillusioned with whatever online content had to offer?

Gtmlosangeles,
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@CynAq @actuallyautistic Always. I have always been disillusioned with online content. And offline content, too.

yourautisticlife, to actuallyautistic
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

I've posted my opinion about the new hashtags, in the following article. I've prevented commenting directly on that article, because unfortunately the ActivityPub plugin makes a mess of it, when you have replies to replies.

(Actually... I'm not sure whether the plugin will prevent people from commenting in the fediverse... oh well.)

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2023/09/15/actuallyautistic-is-for-both-formally-diagnosed-people-and-self-diagnosed-people/

Gtmlosangeles,
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@yourautisticlife @actuallyautistic
Fortunately, hashtags are non-rival. The use of one hashtag imposes no barrier or additional cost on the use of another hashtag. There is no scarcity in hashtag space. And in the end, multiplicity is one of the features of our community I value most highly.

CynAq, to actuallyautistic
@CynAq@neurodifferent.me avatar

I'm finding that as I'm becoming more accepting of my own neurotype, I'm having an easier time differentiating what is more difficult for me vs what is easier. Similarly, I can now be increasingly confident in my coping strategies against burnout.

One thing I'm having more difficulty with is the sense of safety. Each day, I'm feeling more and more unsure of my safety within the world.

Accepting that I'm #ActuallyAutistic helps with my self acceptance, therefore with my self-care but it also drives home the fact that I'm fundamentally different, and certain problems I keep having with life are still insurmountable, even though they are not "my fault" anymore.

I don't know exactly where I'm going with this. I guess I'm trying to ask how do people of the autistic community handle the vulnerable position the acknowledgement of one's neurodivergence puts them in.

@actuallyautistic

Gtmlosangeles,
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@CynAq @actuallyautistic
My experience has been very similar. One of the most difficult things for me emotionally was the realization that my vulnerability always existed, even when I was not aware of it.

When I was in a jury pool, we each had to state our profession and any time we had been a victim of a crime. Many folks had no crimes and some had one or maybe two. I had several. I just thought maybe I was a statistical anomaly.

Gtmlosangeles,
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@actuallyautistic @CynAq
A study: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5980973/

bike, to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic Looking for a new stim? Consider humming! Apparently it's good for the vagus nerve.

per some random internet article:
https://uplift.love/how-to-control-inflammation-with-your-brain/

Gtmlosangeles,
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@bike @actuallyautistic humming with fingers in ears is the best. For me.

autisticbookclub, to actuallyautistic
@autisticbookclub@mastodonapp.uk avatar


If you could describe a 'perfect' family, how close would that family be?

How often would they meet / talk?

After a conversation with a counsellor I am confused.

I thought that closeness in families was a good thing, as long as you all get on reasonably well, but apparently it's 'bad' and any family that is close is 'enmeshed'.

I would like to know what you think?

(My family is entirely )

@actuallyautistic

Gtmlosangeles,
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@autisticbookclub @actuallyautistic There is no one right way for a family to be. According to Tolstoy, this would mean all families are unhappy, but Tolstoy had it wrong. I would describe a perfect family as my little half-autistic, bilingual, almost entirely queer, anarchist collective, but that would not be anyone else’s perfect family.

ratcatcher, to random
@ratcatcher@neurodifferent.me avatar

For anyone having issues with the hashtag, there is also and @allautistics (the latter being a recently created group that you can follow and post to).

They are intended for anyone who is (or thinks they might be) autistic (formally or self-diagnosed).

Gtmlosangeles,
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@ratcatcher @FrightenedRat @allautistics @actuallyautistic
Saying "I think the meaning is clear enough" implies, to me anyway, that you think the meaning is clear enough for everyone to understand without any confusion what you mean it to say. With that interpretation, correct or not, the statement would be a form of claiming to speak for others. This is one of the reasons I have not chosen to use the hashtag. However, I understand that not everyone will comprehend it the same way.

My best practice is to try always to be explicit, no matter what hashtag I am using, and state my understanding or experience with a clear limitation that my statement applies to me. It's more work to do that, but my experience online is better when I do.

Gtmlosangeles,
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@hauchvonstaub @FrightenedRat @ratcatcher @allautistics @actuallyautistic
I don't happen to be a person shooting for universal adoption of one hashtag, and I have no opinion about what others use (whether one or many). But, if there were enough others using it, I would go with .

Gtmlosangeles,
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@hauchvonstaub @FrightenedRat @ratcatcher @allautistics @actuallyautistic

Autistic me
Is very much the only me
There are others I pretend to be
To show what others want to see
I wish that I could always only be
Autistic me.

Gtmlosangeles,
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@FrightenedRat @hauchvonstaub @ratcatcher @allautistics @actuallyautistic
Thank you. That was mine, freshly sprouted. Poems are one of my things.

Gtmlosangeles, to actuallyautistic
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@actuallyautistic

I am having big feelings today. A story about my great-grandfather prompted me to reach out to branches of his descendants with which I have had little contact and ask about incidence of autism.

It turns out there is a lot of autism in my family. I had no idea. Also, the little contact that I had in the past that resulted in some very positive interactions were with others who have turned out to be autistic.

I feel happy/grief to have this understanding now and not to have had it when I was much, much younger. Family secrets are bad.

Claire, to actuallyautistic
@Claire@disabled.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Let's talk about autism and dissociation. For many of us with CPTSD, our masks can overlap w/ dissociative periods. Are any of you plural? Or have your masks overlap with dissociation?

This happens to me and I forget part/all of some experiences sometimes.

Gtmlosangeles,
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@actuallyautistic @Claire I haven’t identified as plural, but have always felt “more than one, less than two”. I recall stories of others that are actually about me and seem to have fluctuating gaps in my memory. Masking has been a means to maintain continuity of identity for me, at times. For better or for worse.

DivergentDumpsterPhoenix, to autisticadvocacy
@DivergentDumpsterPhoenix@disabled.social avatar

If there were no barriers, and you had unlimited resources. What one thing would you do?

I would start an academic institution dedicated to the study and advancement of the neurodiversity paradigm and movement.

#actuallyautistic #autism #autistic #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #askingautistics #askingadhders

@actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy

Gtmlosangeles,
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@autisticadvocacy @actuallyautistic @DivergentDumpsterPhoenix @DavidNielsen too much methane.

JeremyMallin, to actuallyautistic
@JeremyMallin@autistics.life avatar

Are all Autistics autodidacts? Is that just a thing we do?

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic
#ActuallyAutistics

Gtmlosangeles,
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@actuallyautistic @JeremyMallin Schools don’t actually help children learn - all children are autodidacts. Some of us, more among autistics, just happen to be better at it.

Gtmlosangeles,
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@JeremyMallin @Christo @actuallyautistic same thing happens to teachers.

KaCi, to actuallyautistic
@KaCi@autistics.life avatar

What other people might perceive as obsessed with a topic or a person concerning people is the result of our . We focus on one thing strongly and thoroughly to get the whole picture. It's also known as bottom up thinking and it takes time but I imo it is also a talent and gives us practice in analysing things. One reason why many therapists don't really understand what is going on in front of them.
@actuallyautistic

Gtmlosangeles,
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@KaCi @actuallyautistic
As I tell me work colleagues, I am really very good at juggling one ball.

Gtmlosangeles, to actuallyautistic
@Gtmlosangeles@neurodifferent.me avatar

@actuallyautistic

Are you ticklish? If not, did you used to be ticklish?

As a child, I was ticklish until, at age 11, I decided that I would no longer be ticklish. Since then, I have not been ticklish at all.

I have yet to meet any others who experienced this "turning off" of being ticklish.

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