Atheists of lemmy, what is your coping strategy when things goes downhill?

I am at an accepting stage that not everything that happens in your life is in your control. When things goes really bad and you dont have much control on it, I would assume a person who believes in god or religious figures has their belief system as a coping mechanism. For example praying to the god and so on.

I passed that stage where you believe a single entity has a complete control of each and everything happens in this entire universe. So falling back to god and thinking it is all according to the plan and he will find out some solution is not really an option for me. At the sametime I also acknowlede that there are some gray areas where science can’t provide a logical explanation so as to why this is happening to some of the life events.

So to atheists of lemmy, how do you cope up with shits that happens in your life that you can’t explain logically and you really don’t have much control?

shartworx,

I tend to hyperfocus on things I can control and/or try to learn a new skill. Both are distractions, but you can’t control what you can’t control. Obsessing over those things leads to dark places. Sometimes, mental judo helps. You can reframe a situation that seems terrible by looking at it from another context. Unfortunately, it’s hard to give examples for this.

leraje,
@leraje@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Be realistic - whatever it is, it will pass. It’s not necessary to understand why something has happened to accept that it has happened. If you can understand it, great, but quite a lot of things in life aren’t dependent on things you do or don’t do and trying to understand those things will drive you mad.

Bad things happen but so do good things. Kipling wrote:

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same.

Meaning, exceptionally good things and exceptionally bad things are comparatively rare and looking for reasons can sometimes be an exercise in futility. A bird didn’t decide to pose as an agent of evil and target you to take a shit on, all that happened was a bird dropped a load when you happened to be walking there.

In the meantime, do things you enjoy. Go to the pub with your mates, re-read a comforting book, listen to music - whatever. And once it’s passed - because it will - exert control over the things you can control that will make you happy.

wantd2B1ofthestrokes,

I have it pretty fucking good in the grand scheme of things so just remember that

GentlemanLoser,

I live like a king compared to probably 90% of this world and 99.99999% of every human that ever lived. I am getting to see awesome and awful things even my recent ancestors couldn’t grasp. And with any luck I’ll kick the bucket right when the air conditioning goes out for the last time.

Sometimes I think about “legacy” but in the end the eventual heat death of the universe is gonna make that irrelevant too.

sub_ubi,

I rely on the bonds I’ve built with other people

hperrin,

When things go poorly for me, I just remember that everything is temporary. At some point in the future, it’ll be better.

GregoryTheGreat,

I talk about it to friends and family. Most things have happened to people you already know.

Dick_Justice,
@Dick_Justice@lemmy.world avatar

I accept the fact that I don’t understand everything, and I get high.

lvxferre,
@lvxferre@lemmy.ml avatar

I’m not a control freak, I know that most things in life are outside my control, and I’m generally fine with it. And when those things outside my control are bad for me, I just… accept them while doing whatever I can to make them less bad?

Two people here mentioned media and booze. For me they’re refreshment; they distract me from the problem that I can’t solve, but they won’t help directly. (Sometimes you do need a refreshment.) Same deal with cooking or talking with my pets.

Im_old,

What do you mean by “cope”? How do I explain it? Either shit happens because of bad luck (e.g. A bird shits on me) or because someone did something wrong (e.g. Somebody got distracted while driving and broke my side mirror). It’s not supernatural entity, it’s just statistical probability.

How do I cope mentally? Tv, videogames, a beer o two and a nice meal. Talk to my wife. Remember to play with my kids.

kibiz0r,

Music, games, booze.

willya,
@willya@lemmyf.uk avatar

Music, poetry, booze.

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