Honestly? Something my little brother shared with me from our childhood. Apparently, it was during a hard time in his high school years. He came to me for advice, and what did I say?
“Life is pain. Get a helmet, Princess.”
I have no recollection of this, but he swears by it and says that it’s gotten him through some seriously rough times ever since, so I’ve started saying it to myself as well. Seems to work decently enough, and I like knowing that younger me had a supportive effect on the little bro like that. 🤗🥰
I know a lot of you don’t like hearing from the bible, but one line always comes to me: “This is the day that the Lord has made”.
I don’t know exactly what this means, but it gives me a sort of FOMO that gets me moving. Like, this day is some seriously interesting and deep shit if I want to get into it.
Sort of like if a friend offers me some wine to taste and Im like “nah I don’t feel like tasting wine right now” and he’s like “This is one of three bottles made by the master vintner Jacque Le’Somnamelier and it’s $50k a bottle and won awards in fifteen countries in blind taste tests”.
It’s like “doesn’t matter if you aren’t in the mood; you don’t want to miss this”.
I used to be pretty negative and aggressive until I realised that if I talked to anyone else the way talked to myself I would get hit.
Now I’m simple and encouraging. Generally a nice little “come on” followed by a simple “you’ll get through it”, “not long now”, “you can do it”, “it’ll be alright”. That sort of thing. If I ever had a coach for anything that’s how I’d want to be pushed.
I say that a lot. Usually when I’m alone and frustrated, tired, in physical or emotional pain…
I don’t want to die. What I’m saying is “make whatever is causing the current situation to suck to stop”. It tends to be cathartic, and occasionally leads me to thinking about how to fix the situation myself.
What if we killed you and then saved the few cells that survived longest and cloned you from them and kept doing that until you had skin tougher than diamonds and super strength and an unquenchable thirst for blood?
Life is like a long running tv show. Some previous seasons were awesome. This one sucks but I have to stay around to find out what happens next.
Doesn’t matter how bad it currently is, the curiosity to see which twist it pulls next is stronger.
The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own. (Epictetus, Discourses 2.5.4–5).
I always go back to this task: is this “bad” situation something that I can control? If not, let it go - it is neither good nor bad. If yes, then how? Do the “how”. The “how” may be specific actions or they may be about controlling how I perceive the situation. If I perceive the situation negatively, work out how to perceive the situation positively. eg. Losing a job may be viewed as bad because of money issues or career issues but could be viewed positively as an opportunity to pursue passions. Perceptions are controllable so bend them to positive constructive ends.
Try to imagine the worst thing that could happen. Usually, it’s not catastrophic enough to warrant the anxiety you feel about it.
Figure out all the levers you can pull on to make things go your way. When there’s uncertainty, that means there are big factors you can’t control, but there are usually still some factors you can control.
For going through a hard time:
Think about another hard time you’ve gone through that seems like it’s now in the very distant past. Someday, this thing will feel that distant too.
Its really unhealthy but it’s an intrusive thought. I just imagine like supporting my full weight by hooks on my veins. Like, just somehow holding my full weight by the veins in my arms specifically. Then I’m like, fuck. It could be so much worse than it is now. Its been a reoccurring thought for years in the harder times. Now it kinda makes me feel better in a way.
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