i dont know if it would be considered PTSD, but i saw one of the Child's Play movies ( i think it was 3) at way to young an age and the the scene where the nerdy kid sacrifices himself for the "cool kids" by diving on the grenade really messed me up for a long as time. still bums me out thinking about it as an adult.
You could try to recreate them yourself! Maybe you can get close enough to sate your cravings. I've never tried them, otherwise I'd try to help you with a recipe. You could try looking for copycat recipes online.
I did some really basic searching and it looks like something like Yunohost might have some ActivityPub modules, and it does have some blogging modules that might work. I have not used this, so I can't say how good or bad it is, but it seemed to have potential.
Another possibility would be to use a Mastodon instance that doesn't limit your character count to 500, such as Aethy (which IIRC has a limit of 1M characters per post).
If I were to start a blog again (and I have considered it), then I would probably use WriteFreely, or alternatively Aethy.
The closest to it was watching Dahmer and getting to the part about the teenage boy because it was a fictionalized depiction of a real event. Despite knowing about what happened for years, there's something different about seeing it depicted on screen. It wrecked me for a while afterwards, and I stopped watching the show because how much it bothered me. It would have still bothered me if it was fiction, but probably not anywhere to the same level.
You can host your blog on GitHub pages, some technical know-how required. But it’s free of charge, and you have complete control over what’s hosted, so you can host a plain HTML page if that’s what you want.
There are quite a few static site generators which you can use. Jekyll and Hugo are the most popular, and have quite a few themes to pick from.
It's possible another fediverse tool would match more what you are aiming for, kbin might not be too far off but it and lemmy definitely seem more about focusing on communities / discussions than people. Definitely check out mastodon / firefish / akkoma
Edit: I do want to say I think kbin could be good for that in the future; RheingoldRiver and others have put in a bunch of good issues about improving how microblogs are displayed / discovered, but I find it still a bit rough to notice microblog posters at the moment
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