A few weeks ago, someone asked me what makes me happy or what I enjoy doing. I said, among others, that I liked playing the guitar very much, but hadn't done it in a while. Couldn't say why I hadn't.
This bothered me. I thought about it and finally found out why I had stopped: I had played something for a friend and felt very ashamed afterwards. Why did I do it in the first place? Why this song? How could I even think it was worth showing?
Part of the SF Masterworks Collection. Despite being nearly 60 years old the narrative around the manipulation of the truth feels incredibly prescient. Wondering whether David Whitaker had read it before he came up with #DoctorWho story The Enemy of the World. #Books#Bookstodon#SciFi#PhilipKDick
The McCartney Legacy Volume 1: 1969-73 by Allan Kozinn & Adrian Sinclair
Absolutely loved this. I’m a huge McCartney fan and not only did I enjoy reading about his early post-Beatles career in minute detail, but it was also great to revisit those early solo and Wings records with the added context the book offers. Heartily recommend to any other fans and I look forward to future volumes.
A novel combining war, cricket and a battle for love. Enjoyed this. It’s jolly in places and then hits you with a bleaker reality. Helps to love cricket as much as I do I would imagine given its importance in the story.
Elon's "extremely hardcore" toxic work culture means people are forced to take Adderall without a prescription to meet their workload. Just ask SpaceX employees.
"Some SpaceX workers resorted to taking Adderall to keep up with the pace of work at the company's launch facility, and others found themselves falling asleep in the bathroom during long workweeks, a recent Reuters investigation found.
"Travis Carson, a former SpaceX worker at the company's facility in Brownsville, Texas, told Reuters some workers took Adderall — a stimulant designed to help people with ADHD improve their focus and concentration levels — without a prescription to keep up with the pace of work."
Methamphetamine is serotonergic. Adderall is not. Methamphetamine tends to induce psychosis that makes the user hostile and dangerous. Adderall certainly can, but the chances of that happening are hardly comparable. There are numerous valid reasons why meth has an extreme stigma and Adderall does not. Attempting to infect Adderall with that stigma makes life so much harder for people like me who can’t function without taking it. People ought to be precise with their language when they talk about things they understand, and they ought to be silent about things they don’t understand. Other than to ask questions to attempt to understand of course, but how often does that happen?
Ok. I am tired of Infosec.exchange being sluggish. I just submitted a crazy order with Hetzner to upgrade the instance. Hopefully the last time for a while. I ordered a dell AMD Genoa 48 core server with 256 GB of ram to act as a database and redis server, a dell 64 core sapphire rapids server with 256gb of ram to act as the single front end/puma/streaming server, and an amd 7950 with 128gb of ram to run minio (insourcing from Backblaze).
I ordered all with 10g network interfaces to be connected to the same switch.
I continue to see issues with Backblaze performance causing issues with posting.
This will consolidate the environment down from about 13 servers to 4 (I will keep using less expensive servers on 1G networks for Sidekiq if it can’t run on the sapphire rapids server.
I will be putting that behind Fastly for global distribution and ddos mitigation. I don’t know whether I’ll keep serving media via bunny.net or try to do that with Fastly also. Bunny works pretty well and is cost effective for media delivery.
What is this "mask", what do y'all mean by "masking"?
Like, what's the difference between a mask and a public persona?
Both my parents are pretty autistic and in total denial about it. Lacking siblings, cousins, a culture, or human contact, I really have no frame of reference for this stuff.
@actuallyautistic
What's the deal with "keen sense of justice"? I am not sure what it's called in English, but I keep reading that it's an autism thing and I definitely have been accused of an "exaggerated" sense of justice or having too much of it. Why do we have that?
@GreenRoc just about everyone in my family is prone to disassociating and prone to excessive apologizing, the way we actually phrase the rules:
No apologizing for existing
No apologizing for not existing
It's important to me because so many people I care immensely about are prone to isolate themselves under stress, so some will disappear for months or even years... and the second rule is specifically to make clear that they can re-appear without guilt.
The first just because they'll keep asking if it's okay to share their experiences with someone who loves and supports them... like, yes, duh I want to know what's going on with you! Vent away!
@snoopy_jay@actuallyautistic
1.not blunted by social adaptation to our culture, that has many mean things normalized
2. isntead beign heightened by hypermepathy and hypersensitivity plus 'autistic naivity'
(not sure if that last one goes under 1. or 2.
Things on infosec.exchange were getting a little bit sluggish, and I've had complaints about media processing taking a long time so I added another app server for the US region. In the past, that has caused media uploads for some people to just fail outright because the reverse proxy hops the upload from one app server to another - and the other has no idea what to do with the last half of a file. I am hopeful I've got that problem ironed out in the nginx config, but would be interested in knowing if anyone runs into that...
A strange part of being autistic is getting in trouble for your facial expressions, tone of voice, not inferring things you haven’t been told, & somehow implying things you haven’t implied. It can feel like people get offended by stuff that’s unavoidable & beyond our control.
You're basically getting in trouble for what others are reading in between the lines because they're making assumptions that are only valid for the people they're used to dealing with.
@GreenRoc@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic I got accused by my rental manager of wanting to control the parking lot because I was complaining about uninspected overly loud vehicles parking outside my bedroom window when they live in a different building, when our lease says all the vehicles have to be in proper working order and legal, and we have quiet hours between 9 PM and 7 AM.
The ruling class will do anything to get out of doing their job properly. Literally anything.
I was born and raised feminine but when I read about sealioning or mansplaining I both know what they're talking about, and also feel like these things can be indistinguishable from coming from a genuine friendly place and I'm hoping someone who is better at words than me can explain why I feel like this is connected to autism.
@bike@markusl@marytzu@homelessjun@actuallyautistic Oh, look at my surprised face. Nobody apparently noticed till recently that most medical/pharmaceutical research is conducted by, on and for men and thus results in medication that is often unsuitable, ineffective or downright harmful to, er, people who are not men.
@smutstodon This poll hasn't been live for 24 hours yet and I already have 100 votes in the poll. I ran a similar poll on #Twitter back when I had a little more than 2000 followers (in 2019) and the total result were 128 votes.
So it seems my reach in the #Fediverse or engagement is better than it was even on "old Twitter" which is a beautiful discovery 🥰
@bookstodon As we approach the end of 2023, I would love to know about the very best books you read this year. (They don't have to have been published in 2023 for your "best of" list.)
@kimlockhartga@bookstodon totally agree! I found some really good stuff, especially after not reading much fiction for many years. That was silly, so I’m correcting my mistake :-)
Once you realized you were autistic, did you encounter overwhelming and overloading situations that you remembered "dealing" with much better before you learned you were autistic? Like learning you were autistic somehow changed how you processed these kinds of situations?
I'd love to (and frankly, need to) hear your stories. Please share if you're comfortable 💚🙏
@FrightenedRat@nddev@Caddi@dave@actuallyautistic I'm currently in an open relationship with another guy and we both tend to flirt with others at lot. I'm not sure if I will be able to handle a monogamous relationship due to my overly affectionate nature and some bad past experiences.
@FrightenedRat@nddev@Caddi@dave@actuallyautistic
My wife and I decided to have an open relationship, but don't really act like that. We never had affairs or ONS before or after that decision.
It was important to me, because I can have romantic feelings to multiple persons or simply be attracted to other persons and that is conflicting with monogamy.
To define for our own what faithful means for us I am freed to not be ashamed of biochemical brain processes and could act on it if desired.
🧵 OK, time for another dev thread
This time I'm making an ART FORGERY game, should only take around 1.5 days but it'll probably be spread out into next week (& doing the thread slows me down)
There's one obvious choice for what you're forging...