Society in general just seems to be in need of more “third spaces”.
These non alcohol third spaces exist, even for queer people, but they’re not initially evident like bars, and are generally based on an activity. Also there’s not nearly as many as bars.
Walkable neighborhoods, more parks, more public squares with restaurants, benches, large spaces for hanging out without car traffic running through it.
We all need spaces to be in that are outside work and home. It just so happens that cities (especially suburbs) aren’t designed for it in any way whatsoever.
It would help people of all sexualities meet new people for hanging out, for love, or whatever else.
I feel like this is an issue for all people, not just queer community. That said I live in a generally very progressive/inclusive area. In any case, I feel like any sober space that successfully serves as a social hub where people can actually meet and socialize with strangers is likely to draw in folks who may not identify as queer, just because of the general lack of this sort of third places at large in Western society.
We should normalize stocking products like Liquid Death at bars for people who don’t want to drink and need a product that’s so visually wild that nobody will think “oh that’s literally water in a can.”
I saw a comic who spoke about telling the bartender before shows to put tea in his glass instead. Even if people order a shot for him, it should just be tea. It looked enough like alcohol that no one would make a big deal about it.
It’s wild that you can’t just be like “I want tea” without it becoming a whole thing.
This. I’m not completely sober but I did get myself in trouble a couple times after moving to a new city where I didn’t know anyone. The only way to meet people was at a bar and when I did make friends with my interests, again, it was always meeting up at a bar.
I get it. Where are you going to go after work when other places are closing and it’s dark outside.
my social anxiety made it all worse. What do I do with my hands? I guess I’ll hold a drink. I hated the whole thing. Now, I’m in my 30s and I barely leave my house. Dogs are better than people. 😊
in general queer people are just more likely to become alcoholics (for example: me) because we’re more likely to face rejection from family, not be accepted by society, and ofc, we have politicans gunning for us the whole time
I am not conventionally queer (my partner is NB though), but I would like to point out that there are some good, queer friendly makerspaces out there that would nicely double as a social space.
Can confirm that lesbians are generally friendly to transgender people. I know at least one lesbian friend who dated pre-ops transwoman. Not sure if I can do the same but I have no problem being friends with transwomen.
Personal experiences will always vary too. I’m sadly a non-passing trans woman who identifies as a lesbian. Saying it’s been impossible to find someone who would want to be with me is… putting it nicely. Some of that struggle is not tied into being trans, but my trans-ness is the thing they will interact with first and it has always meant they pass. But again this is just my own experience.
I’m not really sure. It’d depend on their personality and such since I have no sexual attraction to penis which means sex is a no. Which is the same issue that a cis lesbian is going to have and I am understanding of that. Other elements impact it that have nothing to do with a person trans status or lack of.
I’m not saying all cis lesbians are out there shitting on trans women. It’s honestly likely a minority. But they are going to seek out a partner that matches their personal criteria and I’m understanding of that.
@IvyRaven@Kolanaki
I have no idea how far you are on the transition and how far you want to/can go. But if you feel inadequate, know that there are plenty of sapphic women out there that won't mind your passing.
If you truly have a hard time, maybe the bisexual community will be more welcoming for you? Not that they will see you as a man, but that they are used to be attracted to more masculine features, no need to be perfect passing (as if that existed) to get our interest.
Appreciate that. I should try to get back out there but it’s a hurdle I can’t get past. My transition has stalled out due to a bunch of physical and mental health issues. And as a jobless shut in it’s basically impossible to address those issues where I live. I’ve got a lot of good qualities but yeah the bad feel like no one could deal with. But that’s just my opinion.
Can’t give particularly relevant insight, as a cis-seeming biromantic who was asexual until recently, but in my experience, people aren’t nearly as rigid in their sexuality, romanticity or gender as society would have us believe. It seems many use specific terms as shorthand descriptors for themselves, but are surprisingly open to broader ways of being.
Verging on elderly now, so lived through the time when very little of this was stuff most of us could name, still less go into detail about, and I don’t mean to suggest that it is anything but hard for anyone who falls outside the bellcurve(s), but there will be people out there for you whom you also find attractive.
Wishing you all the best with your health, and with your return to your transition. Hold on to that sense that you have a lot of good qualities.
Lesbians are consistently the demographic most likely to be supportive of trans folks. From the article:
Lesbians are the most likely to say they know a trans person (92%), and also the most likely to say they are “supportive” or “very supportive” of trans people (96%). That’s compared to 89% of LGBTQ+ people overall, and just 69% of non-LGBTQ+ people.
The crazy far-right people are a minority, they’re just very loud and obnoxious. Normal people don’t care about stuff that doesn’t affect them or anyone else.
I recently went on a trans rights march in a large city in the South through an area heavily trafficked by tourists mainly from the South. We got only demonstrations of support and they were pretty regular. If there were people around who were against us they felt like they didn’t want to manifest that objection around the openly supportive people surrounding them. We did get an objection from a very passionate person when it was suggested someone on city council wasn’t living up to their promises, but his objection was not against trans rights.
I think a lot of the stigma comes from terfs* and attempts from the alt-right to sow division to divide and conquer. Terfs often present themselves as lesbians and are extremely vocal about how only cis women are lesbian, trans women aren’t women, etc. Then you have other aspects of the alt-right who talk about how trans women aren’t real women and real lesbians will know the difference. The result is that it looks like there are more people with these beliefs than there actually are (the alt-right is very, very good at harnessing social media to make themselves seem louder than they actually are).
I know this isn’t the case, I consciously am aware that the vast majority of lesbians are supportive of trans people. I know a number of people who are lesbian and are very much supportive of the trans community. And yet, this belief has been so deeply sown that I still find myself questioning whether someone is a real ally or not. I hate that.
Fuck letting terfs rebrand as “gender critical”. I believe people can be critical towards the concept of gender and believe we should be moving away from associating behavior and personality traits with someone’s sex, while still being supportive of trans and non-binary folks.
I agree. As a newly realized member of this community this stuff is very difficult and disheartening for me. It makes me afraid to pursue finding a more authentic self, because, what if I end up more alone? I already have a very lonely life, and can’t imagine becoming more unlovable.
I hope this is okay to say but you’re not unlovable. You’re a worthwhile and wonderful person. I know that feeling so I just wanted to say that to you. /genuine
Thank you! I guess I’m not quite confident enough yet in my identity. Some of this stuff gets me down pretty easily, and there’s definitely a lot of fears with the current US climate.
Seek out others in the community, we are all here for you!! :)
While I also can’t say this as a 100% guarantee, it’s a pretty common story for those seeking their more authentic self to become happier and that usually helps them find and maintain some social ties easier! It’s amazing how much more comfortable and confident you can be when you’re really you, and other people love being around someone like that! (This was the case for myself and like 5 other people I know out of my rather already small friend group)
I hope you find somewhere where you can put those anxieties to rest for a bit <3
I 100% believe it's because the terfs feel super empowered right now because they have a popular and rich children's author on their side. Sometimes it doesn't matter how small the group is when they have all the money to tweak the laws as they see fit.
Since very few people are educated in seeing that, it continues this terrible cycle of fear and assumption.
Greece was also praised for banning so-called ‘conversion therapy’ for minors and other ‘vulnerable persons’, as well as prohibiting non-consensual surgeries performed on intersex countries.
As a citizen of Intersexia, this is encouraging news.
The country has recognised same-sex unions since 2015 but stops short of full marriage equality.
&
Kyriakos Mitsotakis, the Prime Minister of Greece, has promised to legalize same-sex marriage in a huge step forward for LGBTQ+ rights. “Same-sex marriage will happen at some point and it’s part of our strategy,” he said during an interview with Bloomberg Television in Athens on 4 July.
But in reality, as @strangerloop pointed out, in recent elections 12.76% of the voters went with far right (3 parties, one of them directly supported by convicted criminal party with many Nazis in their line-up) whose views on the subjects are clearly against.
And, even though same-sex unions were recognized in 2015, when the relevant legislation was put into a vote, the party that is now in government (40.56% of the voters) voted against the same-sex unions (31 voted no / 18 voted yes / 27 were not present).
So, even though this sounds like good news and I hope it is actually true, it looks more like part of their communication strategy on the media rather than part of an actual agenda for the future.
Seeing as we just voted in three fascist parties to our parliament, I highly doubt legalisation will happen any time soon. And even if it does, I am sad to say its only purpose will be to throw ash in our eyes so we ignore the much deeper systemic issues in the country, which leave the population starving despite record profits from tourism. Hard to feel any joy about news like this, even though it’d mean I could get married to my partner in our motherland instead of another country.
gaytimes.co.uk
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