littlebluespark

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littlebluespark,

That’s your inner player talking, but we all know that the DM behind the elevator fuckwith move has that goblin chock-fulla StrongBad, instead.

littlebluespark,

If, as the DM, you’re letting your players trek unimpeded and unchallenged back to the relative safety of civilization after looting a hoard dry, those players will never understand why murderhobos are the worst.

To put a finer point on it: next time your players’re heading out on an adventure, have them cross paths with a clearly depleted group overburdened with treasure and magic trinkets making their way back to town… Do your players stand aside and wish them safe passage or, do they choose the efficiency of quick & easy cash over deadly risk over yonder horizon?

littlebluespark,

Au contrare, sir or madam. I’m all for “shortcuts” as they’re quite simply an illusory sigh of relief. Let them take the elevator up after all’s said and done — even let them anticipate doing so as they begin the final showdown, et al.

See the hope in their eyes as they hang future plans on that gleaming shaft of transit tech, listen to them enmesh it in their exit strategies, (complete with skill-checking on the various buttons and backslapping each other when whatever they did made it work suddenly) and watch it evaporate as the chime sounds and the doors whoosh open on an array of fresh troops heading down to work…

This is that slo-mo second when they find out it’s the same elevator the site’s reinforcements were about to use when the heroes happened to be coming up with the exact opposite of intentions. 😜

littlebluespark,

To be fair, I’d be pretty damn skeptical of something that easy. There’s always a catch, and I’d bet dollarydoos to hexed donuts that someone in the party arriving at said inn is no longer precisely who they were going into the portal.

littlebluespark,

Essential knowledge, thank you.

littlebluespark,

Dwarves are Scottish, goblins are German.

littlebluespark,

“No, Mr. Sorcadin. A Snickers is not a sprinkle.”

littlebluespark,

Goblinoids are German, with various tribes having dialectual differences (my personal fave is the Heßisch goblins of the wooded riverlands, famed for their spider silk surfing), but the most insidious in both regards is the hobgoblin Sweiß-Deutsch.

littlebluespark,

I think you mean “Pikey” as depicted by Brad Pitt in Snatch.

Or, is that simply the way Duergar speak it?

littlebluespark,

I think you’re getting downvotes for a couple reasons, the least of which is not the fact that you seem to be hinting at the Empire being subtle with IRL fascist adjacency… The faction was literally designed from the start with Nazis at the top of the inspiration list, and this is pretty common knowledge.

Secondly, James Earl Jones does not have a German accent, and its “Vader”. I’d go on, but there’s just so much to unpack. 😶

littlebluespark,

Heßisch goblins are not unlike SoCal coasties, though landlocked; in stark contrast to the assumed harshness of the German language, this dialect reflects its cultural roots in a laid-back and oft syncopated meter with a healthy seasoning of slang, my groms. I guder vie, oder? 🤙🏼

littlebluespark,

I think there’re enough cautionary comments here re: cultural insensitivity that this is more than a little tone deaf, son.

littlebluespark,

Flammy forever! 🔥💕

littlebluespark,

Not enough coffee yet, and I first read that as “polishing a skull or stuffing a rat”. 😅

littlebluespark,

Wait, does this mean the amazing Flammulated beat the Great Horned? 🥹🤘🏼

edit: I see that it did, after reading your text, sorry. All the same, huzzah li’l guy!!

littlebluespark,

He’s the BEST! 🤗💕

littlebluespark,

Truly! I didn’t know of this guy until seeing him up against the legendary Great Horned (looking at you, Secret of NIMH), but I’ve also made a little owlin PC for 5e! A fidgety li’l artificer (pretty sure Gunslinger isn’t canon, but they’re only guidelines anyhow!) based on the Burrowing Owl with a poncho, bandoliers, and a tasseled round hat, but fascinated by bottling “storm surge” so he made EMP/ion weapons.

littlebluespark,

Get in line, clowns. 2077 might’ve had a hobbled launch, but y’all squirted at the starting gun and they’ve come around gloriously while you pointed at anyone but the culprit for your full diaper.

Hell, we all knew you were wearing one and we still gave you the benefit of the doubt. Shame on us, for sure, but you’re still walking around like you’ve changed your damn drawers… Nasty.

littlebluespark,

My sentiment after only a dozen or so episodes. I mean, Christ, we even made it a drinking game by then (Stamets says “mycelial”, etc.), but that was too optimistic and our alcoholism was soundly beaten into submission.

Please, make it stop.

littlebluespark,

Thanks for permission to make my own choices, tiger. You don’t have to comment at all about your apparent following of my alleged wanderings here, but thanks for the flattery.

littlebluespark,

Oh wow! I never knew about this piece before!! 🤩🔥

littlebluespark,

Oh. Mygod. I’m newly in love with Van Gogh. Thank you! 🥹🤩

littlebluespark,

More please. 💙

littlebluespark,

Spore had so many of my young hopes riding on it… 🥹

edit: purchased on Steam to send $5 to the dev team just now!✌🏽

littlebluespark,

We’re promoting inbreeding now? How apropos.

littlebluespark,

You claim that inbreeding “isn’t likely” and then immediately follow with a sentence that directly refutes that. FFS. Is this all bots?!

littlebluespark,

I’m dyin’! 🤣😭☠️

littlebluespark,

That you pay Netflix and Sony at all is not one’s fault but your own. I hear you, though.

littlebluespark,

Paid*

“Payed” is a nautical term.

littlebluespark,

Oh, behave.

littlebluespark,

Morepork will carry Pratchett’s legacy until the end of tiiiiiime 🤘🏼

littlebluespark,

I’m still salty there’s no Shadowheart+Karlach trio option. 🫠🥹

littlebluespark,

Truth. 🤗🔥

littlebluespark,

The Great Horned Owl is always watching, but the Flammulated peers into the depths of your soulllll… 😶

littlebluespark,

Junius Matthews FTW!

littlebluespark,

So true. ✊🏽

…flying is not merely some crude, mechanical process. It is a delicate art. Purely aesthetic. Poetry of motion. And the best way to learn it is to do it.

littlebluespark,

Starfield is fun.

littlebluespark,

The golden thread of 99% of religions is “Don’t be a dick”, but then religion screws it all up.

littlebluespark,

You know this is quickly becoming Reddit, right?

littlebluespark,

Yes.

littlebluespark,

No. “Valid” is not the word.

“Legal” to a point, and then abruptly lethal to those who escalated it to violence and crimes against the nation. (Yes, that means that, by the book, Trump should already have swung for this alone.)

littlebluespark,

One of my all time favorite scenes. He says, “Who’s cock is this?” and she responds with a purring “Mine.” as she pushes back. Fucking UNF. 😱🤩

edit: Oh! You can actually see her say “Mine.” in the clip. 🔥

littlebluespark,

Sorry, no. A quick search for her name & outfit might be helpful? 🤘🏼

littlebluespark,

Save y’all a click.

littlebluespark,

Just, wow.

littlebluespark,

Goodgawdamn. Where did you come from?!

littlebluespark,

Simply lovely.

littlebluespark,

Mmm… “multipass”.

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