Rachelhazideas

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Rachelhazideas,

Women’s pants don’t have pockets because it’s a way to force them to buy purses.

Every person ever who has said that this is purely due to women’s choice needs to go shop for pants once. It’s a miracle to be able to find a single pair of pants that either isn’t 6 inches too long or 3 inches too wide at the waist. Women don’t have luxury of choosing pockets when most pants are either so long they drag through every puddle or too wide to the point of showing the whole ass crack when sitting down.

Rachelhazideas, (edited )

I am a 23andMe user, and yes I voluntarily sent them my DNA sample. Shit on me all you want. You probably don’t have to live with multiple genetic conditions, chronic illnesses, and have a family history of several more.

Must be nice to be privileged with a healthy body and to get to care about privacy concerns instead wondering which genetic condition you’ll die of first.

ITT: People who have never experienced medical gaslighting before. Think about the relevance of your experiences before commenting. ITT: People who don’t live with chronic ille

Rachelhazideas,

Read the rest of the comments here before you comment. Everyone is bashing 23andMe users and the bubble they live in while the irony is completely lost on them.

Your so called ‘obvious reasons’ are anything but obviously to the average lemmy user who will find every excuse to feel superior about their niche privacy loving community with no clue how the real world works.

Rachelhazideas,

instead of going through, y’know the medical system which has checks and balances for this purpose.

This is the single dumbest take on healthcare I have ever heard. You’ve clearly never had to deal with extensive medical issues or chronic illnesses, or you’re a straight white guy in your 30s and have the privilege of being believed by your doctor.

I’ve been forcefully misdiagnosed with ‘anxiety’ by so many doctors who wouldn’t listen to me. No one gave a shit until I threatened to report them to the medical board. That’s the only time they took my symptoms seriously and bothered to do a blood test, where they were proven wrong. No amount of sorry from them will undo the damage they’ve done.

This was one of 5 incidences where I had to advocate for my own health against the doctor’s preconceptions because theywould rather diagnose me based on my age and gender rather than my symptoms.

Medical gaslighting is a pervasive issue that disproportionately affects women, POC, young people, and LGBTQ. It’s a systemic issue that kills people through medical neglect. I would be dead by now had I not fought this hard for my own diagnoses.

The fact that you think modern health care is some pristine and fully reliable process instead of the shit show it is just speaks of how little you’ve had to deal with. Sit down and check yourself before taking about ignorance.

Rachelhazideas,
Rachelhazideas,

You don’t seem to understand what a systemic issue is if you think this is because of a few ‘local physicians’ or just one case of ‘malpractice’. If you think this is something that can be resolved from looking for ‘one competent doctor’, you have no idea how impossible it is to find a team of 1 PCP and 5 specialists who all happen to give a shit, and what to do when you need to go to the ER which is another hellhole of it’s own.

You can come back to this discussion when you show some understanding of how extensive this issue is.

Rachelhazideas,

Not wanting to die of medical neglect is a reason, not an excuse.

I don’t need excuses or your permission to not kill myself.

Rachelhazideas,

Yeah, so is your ‘decade of experience of trying to get a correct diagnosis’ then.

What ever doesn’t fit your world view must be a lie to you. What a tough way to live.

Rachelhazideas,

She sexually assaulted you. Spanking back probably wasn’t the right response, but reporting her and calling her out for it would be.

Rachelhazideas,

He literally said he was spanked on the butt without his consent. No assumptions were made here period.

This is the reason why male sexual assault isn’t taken seriously, and why male victims have even less recourse then female victims. Anytime a man is assaulted, it’s always brushed off as ‘it’s not a big deal’ or ‘it doesn’t count cause she’s a girl’ or ‘man up and just take it’, often by other men. It’s as if consent stops mattering if you have a penis or are male identifying.

Imagine if the genders were reversed and how outraged you would be. As a woman who has had this exact thing done to me before, I know. It’s not a matter of how much it hurts to be spanked, it’s a matter of losing your agency over your own body and feeling like a piece of meat.

Rachelhazideas,

I agree we should stop pretending people can magically change gender.

It’s not magic, it’s hormone replacement therapy, vocal training, wardrobe changes, pronoun changes, surgery, etc.

You all can just change gender normally through scientific methods.

Rachelhazideas,

What about people who are hard of hearing?

Rachelhazideas,

No one is trying to ‘make it a race thing’. It was already ‘a race thing’ and we are actively trying to un-race it.

You and I being unaware of the partially racial origins of these terms (yes, I just learned about this too), doesn’t erase the implications of these words and how it can be hurtful to some people.

There’s no such thing as anti-wokeness, only willful ignorance. We can be better people than that.

Rachelhazideas,

You’re either someone who forgot to put a /s or billionaire boot licker.

Rachelhazideas,

Everyone who doesn’t get it needs to read this.

Rachelhazideas,

He’s adorable but can you tell me what a ‘cockapoo’ is?

Rachelhazideas,

I feel that asking 1 person to use photoshop from each of the 19 counties is not a good sample size.

This speaks more to the opinions of the individual and their photoshop skills rather than what beauty standards are like from that country.

If we averaged out the opinions of many more people, I think the resulting pictures would be much more critical about fitness.

Rachelhazideas,

Imagine making sexism and homophobia your entire personality and world view, and then crying ‘wahhhhh!’ when everyone thinks you’re a steaming hot pile of diarrhea.

Rachelhazideas,

Friendly reminder that ‘bao’ (包) already means bun, so ‘bao bun’ is a tad redundant

Rachelhazideas,

People without chronic pain be making their entire personalities about going outside and doing things painlessly. /s

Rachelhazideas,

I don’t get the joke can someone explain pls

Rachelhazideas,

Your cat might be warm! They like to sleep on non-carpeted surfaces if it’s too hot.

Rachelhazideas,

I have IBS. Might as well ask us if we’ve tried yoga.

Rachelhazideas,

FYI, ‘have you tried yoga?’ In chronic illness speak means ‘can I offer you unsolicited advice with the undertones of presuming that you have not tried to the best of your abilities to cure yourself of an incurable disease that has not even come close to be fully treatable?’

Not saying that’s what OP said, just saying thats how it comes off to most non-chronic illness sufferers.

Rachelhazideas,

The bar is so low here that it’s clipping into the floor.

Rachelhazideas, (edited )

I don’t know much about their family history. What did Yoko Ono do that warranted the domestic abuse?

Edit: Yeesh don’t know why people are getting angry over a genuine question. I don’t know much about celebrities and just asking why people here feel that her abuse was justified.

Rachelhazideas,

Nothing warrants domestic abuse because two wrongs don’t make one right. I’m asking why people here feel otherwise.

Rachelhazideas,

I think people are misunderstanding my question. See: lemmy.world/comment/3216636

Rachelhazideas,

That’s kinda dismissive towards racial, sexual, and various other forms of discrimination people face at a work place. It is possible for everyone else to be an asshole when, say, you’re the only black person, woman, disabled person, etc, and everyone thinks less of your work and capabilities independently of how you performed or contributed.

Rachelhazideas,

God I want a socialist tampon inside me so bad. Socialism is so hot.

Rachelhazideas,

I don’t see what’s wrong with the hairstyle. It’s just a bun and two ringlets framing her face.

Rachelhazideas,

Girls are boring and don’t play with sticks /s

Rachelhazideas,

Giving out some ‘not like the other boys/girls’ vibes.

Rachelhazideas,

I don’t understand the joke. Can someone explain please?

Rachelhazideas, (edited )

Did anyone else thought that was Elon musk?

He certainly acts that way.

Rachelhazideas,

Yeah but women can’t, by definition, grill or fish as a man. They can at best, grill and fish.

When was the last time a dream made you feel genuinely happy, and what was it about?

About 3 years ago I dreamt that I was in a downtown Chicago office interviewing for a fancy new job. For whatever reason my mom came along for the interview and was patiently waiting for me in the office lobby. About half way through the interview it began to dawn on me that my mom passed away over a decade ago. This realization...

Rachelhazideas,

I had a dream where my partner died. When I woke up I have never been more relieved that it was just a dream. It’s made me the happiest and most appreciative I’ve been in a long time.

Rachelhazideas,

I just want to add to the conversation that part of the reason why male contraceptives haven’t been approved yet isn’t all because men are shying away from the burden of side effects from contraceptives. It’s because of how risk evaluations for medications in development work. The risk of pregnancy is severe pain, permanent scarring, death, and a myriad of post partum conditions that can become chronic. When women take contraceptives, they are averting themselves of this risk. When men take contraceptives, they are generally not averting themselves of any direct health risks (not including the consequences of fatherhood). It’s also easier to prevent the release of one egg with certainty than stopping millions of sperm.

This is not to say that it’s a good reason to let women suffer from side effects alone and deny men the option to take on the burden. This is just one of many systemic barriers in modern medicine that have been detrimental to women.

Rachelhazideas,

That’s a valid choice to make. But I just want to highlight the misconception that female birth control is labeled as ‘safe’ in a vacuum. Relative to the risk of pregnancy, which can lead to death and other permanent conditions, anything but getting pregnant would be considered safe in this context. This is part of why male birth control hasn’t been developed yet, because there is no counterpoint, from a medical perspective, to being an infertile man since biological men don’t get pregnant.

Some severe side effects of oral birth control are the increased risk of blood clots (deep vein thrombosis), high blood pressure, heart attack and stroke, liver disorders. Women who take oral birth control are often not well informed about this. And among the ‘less severe’ side effects are migraines, headaches, nausea, bloating, mood swings, and breast pain. Just imagine yourself living with these ‘acceptable side effects’. That is the state of modern medicine for women.

If your partner decides to take on the burden of birth control, just know that it’s not a walk in the park. There are real life changing consequences to taking birth control for many women.

Rachelhazideas,

Rule 3. Be the men’s issues conversation you want to see in the world. Here is some context to what you quoted.

I feel that there is some degree of unnecessary gate keeping here. I think your pride in never engaging in conversation in female spaces is misplaced. To me, that speaks more to a lack of interest in opening up a dialogue about women’s issues.

What’s worrying about this community is how much self-blame is in some conversations. Some people have a tendency to conflate the patriarchy with men, systemic with individual issues, awareness with taking on fault, fault with responsibility, temperament with social conditioning, etc. I often see people fault ‘men’ and by extension, themselves, for something that is not any one man’s fault.

For example, in the comment thread that you quoted, the general sentiment was that many women are choosing to remain single because it’s men’s fault for not being good enough. I don’t entirely agree that the phenomenon of women becoming increasingly single is purely due to men’s behavior, because I think that it is primarily the product of feminism attributing women with personhood and being happily single. Feminism has yet to do that for effectively for men. Hence what I meant by “Feminism has taught many women, but not enough men, how to live a fulfilling life beyond patriarchal norms.”

In the comment above in this post men were said to have ‘put the burden of contraceptives on women’, but there is more nuance to that because of the nature of medication risk analysis makes it much harder to justify birth control side effects for men.

Sometimes, rebuttals like these are dismissed as ‘anti-feminist’ because it seems to be taboo around here for men to say ‘it’s not men’s fault’ to systemic inequalities. There is a lack of separation between fault and responsibility here that I’m hoping that I can sort out by saying ‘it’s not men’s fault’.

Also, I want to clear misconceptions around topics like female birth control because I’ve had bad experiences with it and I’m pretty sensitive about it when it’s deemed as something easy.

Above all, I want to understand men’s issues because I find that to be lacking in many feminist spaces. My partner and several friends are all facing mental health issues, but don’t often talk about it. I don’t want to push them, so I’ll try and learn what I can from this community and try to understand and empathize when they feel ready.

Rachelhazideas,

^How transphobia have changed over the years (they haven’t)

Rachelhazideas,

I would fuck a pig over transphobes like you.

Rachelhazideas,

You want girls to bear children? Fucking pedophile.

Give it to a transphobe to want to have sex with girls instead of women.

Rachelhazideas,

It’s likely butterfly pea flower and mung bean. I’ve had one before and it looks like that color.

Rachelhazideas,

Bruh you talk like you’re 14 and just discovered philosophy but haven’t gotten over your ‘women belong in the kitchen’ phase yet.

Rachelhazideas,

It’s both. I have PCOS which causes insulin resistance which leads to obesity. Separately from that, I also experience bloating as a result.

Rachelhazideas,

Are youIn 2006, the AABB, American Red Cross, and America’s Blood Centers all supported a change from the current US policy of a lifetime deferral of MSM to one year since most recent contact. One model suggested that this change would result in one additional case of HIV transmitted by transfusion every 32.8 years. The AABB has suggested making this change since 1997. The FDA did not accept the proposal and had concerns about the data used to produce the model, citing that additional risk to recipients was not justified. Source

We are well past the 80s and decades behind something that should have. Been corrected a long time ago. The systemic discrimination towards gay men is apparent when you look at EU models of deferment compared to the US.

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