@Assman@sh.itjust.works
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Assman

@[email protected]

I’m The Assman

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Assman,
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Wait until that elephant hears what they did to Topsy

Assman,
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You mean Pot the Trick

Assman,
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She looks like she just heard a sick burn

Assman,
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I think it’s one of those cones you stuff the weed into. The “filter” is more like a sieve to prevent doobie snacks.

Assman,
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Even my own kid

Assman,
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Two fucking inches of actual content, maybe less

Assman,
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lightnofire.com/press

Hello Games is an independent video games developer based in Guildford, United Kingdom.

We are developers and publishers of Light No Fire, Joe Danger, The Last Campfire and No Man’s Sky.

What phone do you sugest for your grandparents?

I got a task to buy a smart phone for my grandparents, they are not techsavy but they know how to use basic functions. Iam looking for an andoid because it has language pack i need. I dont need it to have lots of functions, onley a good camera and a big screen. Bonus points if it can be flashed with some kind of simplefied...

Assman,
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It’s a me, your dead grandpa

Assman,
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en.m.wikipedia.org/…/Christopher_Thomas_Knight

Assman,
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There’s a book I read about him, “Alone in the Woods” I think. Really fascinating and I couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous of him.

Assman,
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What’s the best boots for men? Looking for a pair I can keep forever and have repaired as needed.

Assman,
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I’ve been thinking about buying some for ten years, guess I should have already

Assman,
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Thanks for the recs!

Assman,
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You miss 100% of the shots

Assman,
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After my microwave is done it beeps and flashes “FOOD” every 15 seconds. It’s fucking obnoxious.

Assman,
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You sound just like him

Assman,
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Witless worm detected.

Assman,
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This MFer drinks grog

Assman,
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It’s literally rage bait

Assman,
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Wendy’s in Japan is called “Fakkin”

That is all

Assman,
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The worst thing is that hell isn’t even real 😔

Assman,
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The burden of proof is on the believer

Assman,
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I wanna know why the sign was needed

Assman,
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Alt. title “rule Britannia”

What's your favorite compilation album?

I’ve been really enjoying the Red Hot Organization’s “No Alternative” and “Dark was the Night” recently, both because they raised a lot of money for AIDS research and because they do a great job of capturing the 90s alternative sound and 00s indie sound respectively, and it’s got me thinking how much I love...

Assman,
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O Brother Where Art Thou? has a fantastic soundtrack. The Guardians of the Galaxy soundtracks are also quite good.

Assman,
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Why is there an exclamation mark above his booty

Assman,
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Hospintal

Assman,
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What do you mean inevitable

Assman,
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Ah, inevitable additional wars, separate from the many ongoing wars all over the planet

Assman,
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Easier plan:

Most people are capable of floating on the surface of the ocean. You just need to:

  • optimize the path across land so the fewest number of people need to be in the ocean
  • put all the babies, olds, and infirm people on land
  • pack container ships to the gills with floaters
  • dump them out in a line across the ocean

Granted you still need a bunch of ships but the complications around connecting them all are gone.

Assman,
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Member 75 cent milk and eggs? Member dollar menu? Member dollar theatres?

Assman,
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Compulsory purchase day

Assman,
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French people need to calm down

Assman,
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State bird of Indiana. Pretty common, but I always get excited when I see one.

Assman,
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Soot gremlin

Assman,
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Ribbed for extra pleasure 💀

Assman,
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Do you or do you not chunder?

Assman,
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Left: basically everything in moderation

Right: basically everything in excess

Assman,
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Weasley ass looking house

Assman,
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The Midwest is an affordable place to live (I live and own a home here). But I can understand people born and raised in more expensive parts of the country not wanting (or not being able) to uproot their lives and move here.

Assman,
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Who do you think I am, Chuck Berry?

Assman,
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It’s no different than reddit.

Small community: friendly and welcoming

Large community: shitty teenagers

Assman,
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sh.itjust.works/…/24c856cf-1c4e-42ef-ba3c-2e38691…

Assman,
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Finally I can play Milf Story

Assman,
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I mean are they making fuzzy scissors or are they just hangin out?

Assman,
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Same in Indiana, and we don’t even have medical.

Assman,
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Thanks, me too

Assman,
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Apes babes together strong

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