orangegoldgreen, to actuallyautistic
@orangegoldgreen@neurodifferent.me avatar

I've been thinking about gamifying the process of making new friends in my city. Kind of like a #LARP but your character is just yourself, and you earn points for showing up to small group events. Extra points for helping organize gatherings and coming up with creative ideas for people to get to know each other better.

...I've been thinking about this for over a year, maybe someday I'll have enough energy to actually start it.

@actuallyautistic @autistics #AuDHD #autisticadult #neurodivergent #newfriends #joinin #AutisticAdults #autistic #adhd #80hd #gaming #dopamine #anxiety #socialanxiety #NYC

orangegoldgreen, to actuallyautistic
@orangegoldgreen@neurodifferent.me avatar

Reflecting this morning on the specific ways growing up undiagnosed autistic can lead to distrust of other humans. It's incredibly confusing to have so many demands/expectations of both your peers and people you're supposed to look up to lead to pain and discomfort, and even more alienating when you can't communicate about it in a way that those people would be able to understand because they don't experience life in the same way.

If this resonates with you, my inner child would like to offer your inner child a hug - no pressure or expectations. ❤️‍🩹


@actuallyautistic
@autistics

johnnyprofane1, to actuallyadhd
@johnnyprofane1@neurodifferent.me avatar

"Neurodivergent Kiss."

Cuz autistic love is the most precious love.

For my wife. Who claims to be typical.

We all humor her.

#ActuallyAutistic #Neurodivergent @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

.

johnnyprofane1,
@johnnyprofane1@neurodifferent.me avatar

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

People have asked about my #Neurodivergent marriage...

Umm... over and over.

👉 Later today? Gonna start sharing about 12 years of working toward #AutisticJoy...

through #AutisticLove...

With my wife🤶, who confidently claims to be typical.

Big topic. Just a short post to break the ice for future writing...

Later today. Turns out there WAS hope for me...

🚨 mebbe you too.

#ActuallyAutistic
#AutisticX #AskingAutistic #AutisticAdults
.

johnnyprofane1, to actuallyautistic
@johnnyprofane1@neurodifferent.me avatar

"Calm down."
🧵

G-d, I hate those words. Always have.

#AutisticParent #AutisticMom #AutisticDad
#AutisticAwareness #AutisticAcceptance
#Autism #ADHD #AuDHD #AutisticAdults #AutisticAlly
#AutisticElder #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic
@actuallyadhd

I've heard them pretty much every day of my long life.

Delivered in soothing tones...
Helpful tones...
Authoritative...
Anxious...
Angry...
Sometimes accompanied by a slap.

From Parents. Teachers. Priests. Playmates. Lovers. Doctors. Therapists... Each one demanding one thing of me.

👉Control over THEIR own feelings.

By demanding... control of mine.

WHO needs control when I'm sad?
Angry?
Intense?
Passionate?
Proud?
Informative...
Joyful...
or...
Suicidal?

You folks do.

I'm feeling what I'm feeling. And expressing it in ways that are not only the most natural to me... but also the most appropriate...

To the neurology I was born with.

You may not like it.
In the park.
In the grocery store.
In front of strangers.
In front of Aunt Mary.
In 2nd grade.
👇👇👇

With my office door open.
In your waiting room.
On our 3rd date.
In your house...
In your life.

There's a whole wing of autism deniers masquerading as scholars who say we autistics lack a "theory of mind."

Like adult autistics don't deal with typical human minds
👉 24 / 7 / 365.25 ... 👈

YOUR problem with MY behavior is easier to understand than your whole "theory of mind," "behavioral analysis" crap.

I don't get how YOU think or feel.
You don't get how * I * think or feel...
And we rub each other the wrong way. Just like cats and dogs.

👉THIS cat has a theory of your mind. It's simple.

You don't acknowledge what you think or feel.
Not in public.
Lots of times not even to yourself.

S'why y'all drive me crazy.

Why did parents, teachers, "helping" pros, "friends" tell me to calm down?

Not to soothe my distress. To soothe THEIR distress.

👉 Shame?
Not fun to feel ashamed... of your child.

👉 Fear?
Scary when everybody's looking at you.
And you think it's not even your fault.

👉 Anger?
It's frustrating... when you have no control.
Like... when I don't do what you want me to. Fast enuff.

👉 Soothing?
Of course, YOU need soothing...

Every time someone else's pain...
Or bad luck...
Or death...
Reminds you of YOUR danger.

🚨 "Calm down." 🚨

There is never a time that a command...
implying that an autistic person in distress is doing "something wrong"...
helps.

Doesn't matter our age... education... profession... wealth.

And since your "helpful advice" almost certainly inflames their pain... literally adding fuel to the fire in our hearts, minds, and bodies...

You'll NEVER get the outcome you demand... soothing.

You'll just add one more brick to the prison wall of our trauma.

#AskingAutistics

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