Why is there so much hate against children here?

It was the same on Reddit, people openly say disturbing things against children. What prompted me to post this is someone saying that babies should be put in overhead bins inside airplanes. Even if they’re joking, this is a disgusting thing to say. I won’t say that about anything else.

Would they say this openly about dogs or cats? I doubt it. If they do, people will be ready with pitchforks.

But no one gives a fuck when it’s said about children? Why is that? I though that the general consensus were that children are cute. Maybe annoying sometimes, but still cute. But with the amount of hate I see about them here, I’m really concerned. Does anyone have any thoughts about it?

Gerula,

Iny opinion is because this kind o forums are places where people who don’t like and don’t want to have kids congregate because they are able to express themselves without the peer pressure of the close society they live in.

marionberrycore,

I like kids, and want to become a parent. Not because kids are cute - they often aren’t - but to have a family and get to nurture a young person and see them grow up. However, I hate the societal pressure to have kids and the way it pushes people who don’t genuinely want to have kids into parenthood because it’s the default. And it’s often justified with ‘kids are cute’ as if finding kids cute is all it takes to be a parent. So you run into shitty to mediocre parents running around with kids they didn’t want because they were told kids are the fucking meaning of life, but gave up early on because, what do you know, parenting is actually hard. And for a lot of us, those are our parents, grandparents, bosses, friends, or community members, and it’s so frustrating to see that everywhere. It’s really disturbing to be told by shitty parents (like my own mom) that parenthood is the best thing in the world.

As long as it’s not in front of actual kids, I don’t see a problem with jokes like this, and I sometimes find them pretty funny tbh. I’m not interested in giving shitty parents a free pass because kids are cute. It’s not cute when someone doesn’t support their kids or think about their needs, or sees them as a cute accessory instead of a person. I’m with the childfree people on this - usually their hate is not towards the children, but towards shitty parents and towards having kids being seen as the default.

angrystego,

I think it is perfectly ok to hate shitty parents. But it seems to me that many people really hate the children, not their parents. Many of them also tend to generalize and hate all children in a simple children-bad manner. I often see people who are not afraid to say they just hate children. I find those people in all groups - some of them are childless, some of them are good parents and some are the shitty ones. It seems to be the popular edgy thing to say.

robert235,

Outside of social media, I seen people shown their dislike for children. Only on reddit I see people use the term crotch demon.

BraveSirZaphod,
@BraveSirZaphod@kbin.social avatar

People make offensive or disturbing jokes all the time. If you're truly so sensitive that it "really concerns" you, remember that these are strangers on the internet that will only ever have as big an impact on your life as you allow them to. If a community is full of edgy humor you don't like, leave it and find another one.

I'm not saying that to try to call you overly sensitive or anything; there are plenty of topics I wouldn't want to see jokes about either. The beauty of the entire fediverse community model is that you can go wherever people are that share your values and general vibe.

angrystego,

I agree wholeheartedly. At the same time I feel with the OP. When you're interested in child related topics, there's no way to escape the child hate. It's very prevalent.

oldGregg,

Seriously what a terrible joke. You could still hear them screaming from the overhead bin!

They should put them in a kennel with the luggage, clearly.

TheDoctorDonna,

At least in the pet carry area so they blend in with the howls and screams. And y’know- it’s pressurized. I’m not positive the luggage bin is.

AttackBunny,
@AttackBunny@kbin.social avatar

Ok, probably going to get downvoted, but here we go. I HATE hate hate hate children and especially babies. They cause a visceral reaction in me and it’s not good.

Their awful high pitched squeals, their sticky filthy hands, their germ carrying drippy snotty faces, their awful baby talk that doesn’t make sense, their smell (barf), that awful cooing/laugh I could go on forever. Add in the terrifying idea of carrying one of those parasites in my for 9 months and then popping it out, while destroying my body? No fucking thank you.

Add in that if you say you’re childfree people ALWAYS try to convince you that you need one. “Oh when are you and husband having baybeeeeees?” Never. “What!?!?!? Why!?!?!? They are soooooooo pwecous”. “You need to have at least one. They are miracles, and gods gifts.” “Who will take care of you when you’re old, if you don’t have kids. How will you have purpose in your life?” Idk Karen, maybe I have other interests, and hobbies, or volunteer. I’m fully satisfied with my life WITHOUT kids. Of course this doesn’t ever shut people up.

There are very few places on the internet, and really anywhere, where childfree people can actually, openly say how they feel. If you say things like “god won’t someone shut that screaming brat up” in public, best case you get the look of death. More likely a bunch of people chastising you for not being sympathetic to the poor mom, whose REALLY stressed out, obviously.

All of that eventually breed the comments like “I’m going to put the baby in the microwave”. I know I’ve had to resort to it a few times with extra pushy people, who pester me every time they see me about kids. You get macabre enough and everyone eventually stops asking. Plus hyperbole is fun.

TheInsane42,
@TheInsane42@lemmy.world avatar

I for one totally agree with you. It took me ages to find a wife that didn’t want kids as well. Ok, she can stand kids, for a short while, but wouldn’t one in the house. I rather stay far away until the kids are about 12 or older. I took a vasectomy when abortion was discussed and rejected. No way I’d have more kids then wanted (0).

I don’t understand why people have to like pups of their own kind at all costs. Of a lot other species I like the offspring, just not my own kind. Could be because I think we are with to many at the moment, at the cost of the rest. Ah well, nature will solve this issue for us.

AttackBunny,
@AttackBunny@kbin.social avatar

Agreed, the amount of guys who told me "I'll marry you, and give you babies in a year" after dating for like 2 weeks, and like it was some goal I had, was ALARMING. I immediately ended all contact with those guys, no matter how much fun they were in the moment. Found husband like 15 years ago, and we are still very happy. MUCH happier than everyone I know with kids, and we own a business together.

Also, nevermind there are how many kids in foster care, that all those baby crazy lunatics refuse to even consider, because ew not my own progeny bullshit. I know it's not easy to adopt, because there is a suitability/means test, but that should say something, shouldn't it?

TheInsane42,
@TheInsane42@lemmy.world avatar

Yep, if you fail to be suitable to adopt, just make your own…

For some parents/kids I think they should introduce an exam on raising kids before they should be allowed to produce one.

Cylusthevirus,
@Cylusthevirus@kbin.social avatar

"I hate an entire group of human beings based solely on factors mostly out of their control and expect to be respected for this," is certainly an interesting point of view.

By all means stay as far away from kids as possible and never have any. I for one will never pressure you on that front; much the opposite, in fact.

AttackBunny,
@AttackBunny@kbin.social avatar

Thank you for literally proving my point. You realize that people are allowed to dislike things, right? Even if you don't agree with it. You may hate dogs (for instance), that's your prerogative, but others don't get to judge you for it, simply because you know what you do and don't like. So maybe stop being a judgy asshole. I KNOW I don't like kids. Sure some might be ok for like a minute, but they aren't for me. That doesn't mean there is something wrong with me, or I'm trying to be edgy, or I have severe mental health issues, or that I'm an asshole, or that it's an "interesting point of view". It's reality for a LOT of people. I KNOW myself. I know what I do and don't like. I wish more people would realize it about themselves BEFORE they have kids, and hate them.

You are absolutely in the bottom 1% of the minority then. I can count on one hand the amount of people who have said "good for you for knowing yourself" or "right on" or any variation of agreement/acceptance/confirmation when I have unequivocally started I did not want kids. I said it as a kid (like under 10 years old), and was told I'd change my mind. I said it in my teens, and was told that I would meet the right person and change my mind. I said it in my 20s, and I was told I'd change my mind I just had to wait for my biological clock. I said it in my 30s, and I was told my clock would start soon, and I'd change my mind. I've said it in my 40s, and I'm told "it's not too late".

Not everyone likes children, and THAT'S OK.

Shalakushka,
@Shalakushka@kbin.social avatar

Holy shit "I don't want to be around kids" is not the same as "I should be respected for being a racist." What a reach.
"I don't like peanut butter."
"Wow, so you hate food based on what it can't control? RACIST"

HonoraryMancunian,

Valid question, terrible example. The joke’s funny, and pretty tame.

A better example is how so many r/aww commenters would whinge when a human baby was posted, as if somehow only baby animals are cute.

totallynotarobot,

À lot of those pics were objectively ugly af babies. People seem to have no perspective on their own children, and it ruins one’s eyebleach scrolling.

An “ugly” cat is still awwdorable. An ugly human is not.

platysalty,

I think it's the lack of fur. Fur makes them nice and fluffy so we overlook the fact that they're incredibly dumb.

totallynotarobot,

If we could just have furrier babies all would be well!

AttackBunny,
@AttackBunny@kbin.social avatar

Most human babies look like a sack of potatoes or Elmer Fudd. They aren’t cute. Ever.

I admittedly do not like children, do not find them cute, and don’t want to see them. Plus, I have a HUGE issue with people posting their children on social media sites, when the child can’t give consent. On top of the security issues with posting a pic of your kid, their first name and location (at least in the data if not stated). “Oh look at little Johnnys first trip to the blah blah lake” not cute.

totallynotarobot, (edited )

Very excellent point. Exploitation of their own children is equally creepy.

Edit: those downvoting this should have CPS called on them.

SexualPolytope,
@SexualPolytope@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

Yeah, that’s a great example. Look no further than the replies to find some offenders.

HonoraryMancunian,

Look no further than the replies to find some offenders.

Agreed

notapantsday,

I once came across a reddit thread where physical violence against children was seen as a normal and necessary means of parenting. And it was a mature thread in a mainstream subreddit with thousands of responses. This was the consensus and anyone disagreeing was downvoted into oblivion.

kava,

I don’t believe this. You talk about scaring a kid with a belt or flip flop on reddit and everyone will call you a child abuser. Hell, you play a prank on your dog by jumping out behind a wall and they think you’re an animal abuser and should not have pets.

I personally was raised with the occasional threat of physical discipline. Really I only got hit with the belt maybe 4 or 5 times in total growing up, all before the age of ~10. I don’t really see it as that big of a deal. I probably wouldn’t do it with my kids, but also I don’t think it’s traumatic or damages the kid.

I think there’s a fundamental difference between hitting with the belt on the butt just to scare and then actually hitting the kid in anger with intention to cause pain. I think most non-psychopaths, even boomers, would agree with the first and not the second.

Shalakushka,
@Shalakushka@kbin.social avatar

Every study done shows it's harmful either way, however "fine" you turned out.

kava,

From what I understand if it’s done in the first manner it isn’t harmful. This is according to the research I’ve read. The issue is that the majority of times parents hit their kids in anger. So it’s generally advised to just avoid it altogether. Which I more or less agree with. Like I said, I probably won’t use it with my kids.

Shalakushka,
@Shalakushka@kbin.social avatar

What you understand is not consistent with what has been researched. That is to say, it's a belief rather than an understanding.

kava,

I’m going off of research. Physical punishment of the child is dangerous on a societal level because most parents end up getting emotional. For example read this

Interviews with physically abusive parents about the abusive events for which they were referred to child-protective services expose a startling and compelling theme: Nearly two-thirds of the abusive incidents began as acts of corporal punishment meant to correct a child’s misbehavior.49 The authors of a review of 830 substantiated cases of abuse observed that “no factor was so universal, so ubiquitous, as some identifiable behavior on the part of the child which precipitated the parent-child interactional sequence culminating in abuse.”50 A review of physical-abuse cases in the 2003 Canadian Incidence Study of Child Maltreatment revealed that seventy-five percent of these substantiated cases were intended by the parents to be corporal punishment.51 Similarly, an older review of maltreatment cases in the United States found that sixty-three percent of the incidents of physical abuse developed out of intentional corporal punishment.52 A study of abusive parents in Mexico found that these were more likely than a group of comparison nonabusive parents to use conventional corporal punishment (for example, spanking or slapping) and to use more-severe methods (for example, kicking, biting, or burning),53 which suggests that more-frequent and more-severe use of corporal punishment makes physical abuse of children significantly more likely.

Vast majority of “abuse events” start with what was intended as simply corporal punishment. This is the crux of the problem. It’s hard to separate the effect of mild and conscientious punishment versus what often ends in abuse.

Which is why it’s easier just to say “corporal punishment is bad” because it will dramatically reduce the rates of abuse in society.

But there’s more nuance to it. Corporal punishment tends to not be damaging depending on frequency & intention of the parent. If the frequency is low (<5 times a year) and there is a feeling of warmth between the parent and the child, the kid doesn’t experience a meaningful mental health impact. However, in every other case (vast majority of cases) there are negative mental health impacts. Higher rates of ADHD, misbehavior, future addiction issues, etc.

Which is why the advice “don’t spank your kids” is a good one because you simply can’t trust every parent to be a fully rational actor with the long term perspective of their kids best interest in mind. Just safer not to do it.

I wouldn’t do it either

Peruvian_Skies,
@Peruvian_Skies@kbin.social avatar

I think there's a clear subjective difference between consciously spanking a child as a form of discipline, as a rational decision and with the absolute minimum force required for it to work, and hitting a child as a form of punishment guided by negative emotions. In the first case, you're doing it to improve the child's life in the long run. In the second, you're just being violent towards someone weaker than you because you're the lowest of the low.

It's like the difference between a tasteful nude photograph meant to highlight the beauty of the human body and porn, or between using dissonance in music to create tension and using it because you're a bad composer. There isn't a set of general, objective rules to distinguish the two, but if you see it, you immediately know which one it is.

PseudoSpock,
@PseudoSpock@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Flying with a baby should cost so much more people stop doing it. It’s often painful for a baby’s ears, anyway. Why risk causing your baby pain?

RoyalEngineering,

Yeah and my ears.

totallynotarobot,

And my axe

PseudoSpock,
@PseudoSpock@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

This thread needed you, thank you. 🤣

rufus,

I think you’re being trolled here. There is always one person who says something awkward because they’re seeking attention by provoking people and the internet is anonymous.

You not seeing anyone object is probably them following the rule “Don’t feed the trolls.” You should follow that rule, too. Don’t give them the attention they’re so desperate for. If you interact with them, you start enabling them. Just downvote and ignore the trolls.

Pandoras_Can_Opener,
@Pandoras_Can_Opener@mander.xyz avatar

And maybe report.

moipe,

deleted_by_moderator

    •
    TheKarion,

    Name someone who would rather have a child on an airplane rather than a normal adult

    SexualPolytope,
    @SexualPolytope@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

    Even I won’t prefer that. But I won’t say disturbing things like that. I won’t prefer a dog in my house either, but I’m not gonna say fucked up things like this about them.

    redders,

    I’ve not heard of any planes getting diverted due to drunk and abusive children…

    So children have that going for them!

    Peruvian_Skies,
    @Peruvian_Skies@kbin.social avatar

    That's just because we don't let children get drunk.

    TheButtonJustSpins,

    Just rub a little whiskey on the gums when they’re teething.

    BettyWhiteInHD,
    @BettyWhiteInHD@lemmy.world avatar

    deleted_by_moderator

    •
    notapantsday,

    Depends on the adult, depends on the child. But my worst experiences on planes have always been with other adults being drunk, taking half of my seat or smelling like two weeks old fermented sweat. And when children are seriously misbehaving, usually once I find out who the parents are, I feel more sorry for the kids than for myself.

    Nemo,

    The parents.

    kava,

    Depends on the kid. I’d rather sit next to a well behaved 9 year old on a plane than an overweight person who smells bad. Every time. Hell, I might prefer an annoying 9 year old even.

    My last plane right I sat in between a small child who was well behaved and a small old lady. I had so much room to use my laptop, eat the shitty airplane food, etc. It was very pleasant. Neither said much. The flight before I was in between a tall and heavyset man and an overweight woman and I felt cramped the whole time.

    BettyWhiteInHD,
    @BettyWhiteInHD@lemmy.world avatar

    I genuinely haven’t seen any of this personally.

    Is it possible that you’re just subscribed to bottom of the barrel dipshit meme communities?

    SexualPolytope,
    @SexualPolytope@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

    Maybe. It’s not as true as it was in Reddit. And every time I see it, it’s in Memes or some bullshit community. I might need to clean up my subscriptions.

    Rooki,
    @Rooki@lemmy.world avatar

    It could be instance depending of course.

    BettyWhiteInHD,
    @BettyWhiteInHD@lemmy.world avatar

    That’s what it is. I’m looking at your history and it’s basically all meme communities.

    Shit in, shit out.

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