@investorsexchange@lemmy.ca
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investorsexchange

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investorsexchange,
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A hobby is a good idea. I feel stuck right now. I guess I know what to work on first.

investorsexchange,
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It was too long, and that’s what happened. It was one of those days.

investorsexchange,
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Yes, good advice. I volunteer and work out and have a hobby (diving) that I’m taking a break from while I’m busy at work. I guess I need to find balance again.

investorsexchange,
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I’m not sure about all your requirements. I use 1CRM. It’s based on sugar crm, which is open source. It’s self-host-able. I had a good experience with support while I was setting it up (I pay for hosting). They are located on the west coast of Canada, if time zone matters.

investorsexchange,
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You could start by fostering, to see how it goes.

investorsexchange,
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This is the best answer.

Also, set your phone and computer OS to French.

investorsexchange,
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I looked into this and didn’t find anything I liked that looked reputable. I ended up getting a cell phone plan with a voice only plan. I use it with my personal phone and a dual SIM. I ported the number, but it was a huge pain to port from a business centre VOIP.

investorsexchange,
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I think you have excellent taste in music. But my wife disagrees, so we just don’t listen to music together. Is music taste non-negotiable for you? What ate things you’d like to do with someone? Board games? Video games? Quiz games? Reading May or may not work. Other new hobbies or sports or activities you’d like to try? That at least suggests some social interaction and maybe get noticed by someone with similar interests.

investorsexchange,
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I’m planning to start with a self-hosted option, but if I get tripped up, that sounds like a good plan B.

investorsexchange,
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Fair enough. Thank you for sharing.

investorsexchange,
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I love it.

investorsexchange,
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I don’t know what words might better express what I’m thinking. So I’ll tell a story. I was raised religious, in a demanding Christian sect. There were a lot of expectations and judgement about what it takes to be a good person. Now, I’ve arrived at a point in my life where I reject the religious ideology and the conception of what it means to be a good person. I think that life is due to chance, that life is brief and temporary and that meaning is created only in my mind. I’m married and have kids. That gave me a lot of meaning, but my wife and I have drifted apart and my kids are mostly grown and are mostly independent. What now? I enjoy sports, and VR gaming and public speaking. I also tried cannabis (legal in my country) and it’s fun. Is there any reason I shouldn’t use it often? Is there something more important I should do with my life? Will I regret later doing things that are fun now?

Maybe none of it matters, but I’m curious what other people think and feel and believe. I’m happy to hear philosophical views, but I’m really curious about how others live.

investorsexchange,
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I really like your answer.

investorsexchange,
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I hope you do, too.

investorsexchange,
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This sounds really good to me. How did you escape others’ expectations?

investorsexchange,
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Music makes life awesome.

investorsexchange,
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I used to think that. Now I know that regrets are inevitable. And I think they make life interesting. I’d rather have regrets than boredom.

investorsexchange,
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Ah, ambitions of conquest.

investorsexchange,
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Good answer. Do you call your kids now? Do you travel now?

investorsexchange,
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I love this answer so much. Thank you for taking the time to share it.

investorsexchange,
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Is that because video games are awesome, or because you haven’t used your creativity to come up with anything else?

investorsexchange,
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I hope that every word of this is true. I loved reading it.

investorsexchange,
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The one who plants trees, knowing that he will never sit in their shade, has at least started to understand the meaning of life. Rabindranath Tagore

Do you think this makes any sense? If not, why not?

Is the purpose of life to be happy?

When I’m unhappy, I feel like I’m doing life wrong. I’d rather be happy. But is happiness the point of life, or is there more to it? If I pursue happiness, mine first then for those around me, is that selfish? But if there’s a bigger purpose, then what about people with Alzheimer’s or dementia who can’t recall recent...

investorsexchange,
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I like this answer. I still wonder if there’s more. Is knowledge better if it serves a purpose, like improving your art? Should art serve a purpose? Is beautiful enough, or should it be useful?

investorsexchange,
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This seems very simple, but I think it holds a lot of truth. Sometimes I’d rather walk in the rain listening to sad songs. And that’s okay.

investorsexchange,
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This seems eminently reasonable. But why do you choose joy over suffering? Clearly you value one over the other and expect others to feel the same. If we all agree, doesn’t that make it right (for us)? And why do we plant trees that we’ll never get to sit under?

investorsexchange,
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Technically the truth.

investorsexchange,
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I don’t disagree, but I’d like to explore a little further. If you were the last person on earth, I’d everyone else died of old age and you are the last, would you still want to leave the earth better than you found it? Would you take comfort in or be indifferent to the happiness you brought to the people you love? Are your ideas about good and better based on the experiences of other people, or do they exist objectively?

investorsexchange,
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Okay, this is an interesting idea. I said purpose, but you said meaning. Aren’t those the same? Imagine I’m pursuing something pointless, like hedonistic pleasure. Why isn’t that meaningful? How can I determine if my actions are meaningful?

investorsexchange,
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Thank you for your comments about dementia. It scares me, but I was wondering if happiness is worthwhile, even if the person that I spark happiness in won’t ever remember it. I think of both elderly people and small children, because my kids no longer remember some of our early vacations, which are some of my happiest memories. And I conclude that making people happy is valuable in itself and never wasted, even if they will forget. Maybe because that’s how I conceive of my own personality or being: I make people feel good and that makes me who I am. But maybe that says more about me or my society than about life in general.

investorsexchange,
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But isn’t our life really just the story we tell ourselves about ourselves? I guess I’m trying to create a narrative arc, and your comment says to me: enjoy the exposition and character development; it’s enough.

investorsexchange,
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I like you.

investorsexchange,
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Toxic positivity is a real thing.

Part of the inspiration for this post was: I am a grown up and I can do whatever I want with the next hour. What will I do? What does that say about me? What should I do with my life? What kind of person does that make me? Am I shallow for just wanting to experience as many new things as possible? I don’t think so, I think that’s just my genetics expression themselves. But that raises questions about free will, and I’m not willing to ponder that this morning. I’d rather spend the next hour doing something fun.

investorsexchange,
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You might be surprised to hear that I’ve explored Buddhism somewhat, and I think it has helped. I went from worrying that I’m not good enough and I’m not achieving enough, to just accepting who and what I am. I feel that’s been positive. The video you linked sums it up nicely. I enjoy the book Who ordered this truckload of dung? : inspiring stories for welcoming life’s difficulties by Ajahn Brahm (archive.org/details/whoorderedthistr0000ajah).

investorsexchange,
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I’m going out to lunch with friends. Tomorrow, I’ll go springboard diving. Not because it matters, just because I enjoy it.

investorsexchange,
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I’ll take happiness over suffering any day.

investorsexchange,
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The church I was raised in also makes a distinction between real happiness and temporary pleasure. I reject that idea. You’re right that drugs and alcohol can have negative side-effects or long-term effects. TV doesn’t, it’s just wasted time. But that makes me think that you’re saying: no, happiness isn’t the point, being productive is more important.

Are you willing to share: what’s your purpose?

investorsexchange,
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I really like what you said here. Being happy is fine and it’s enough a lot of the time. There can be other ways to find meaning in life, and those will always be subjective and personal. Many people will try to tell you how you should love your life, but it will only be meaningful if it aligns with your own sense of self.

Personally, I’m allergic to the word “should”. My reaction is: “don’t impose your subjective reality on me.” But someone I respect and admire said that there would be more to life than happiness and that’s part of where my question came from. I think there can be more to life than happiness, but I’m not falling short if I’m finding happiness for myself and my family and my friends; that can be enough, because I decided it’s enough.

Thank you for your answer.

investorsexchange,
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Okay. Life has no purpose. And free will is an illusion. Are we just living out a simulation?

investorsexchange,
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It probably matters to people who are looking for an external source of meaning, and doesn’t matter to people who are creating an internal source of meaning. In that way, it’s maybe a useful clue to what type of meaning is more valid.

In the scenario you gave, how would you judge whether a life was well lived? How would you go about living a good life? What would you do or become to be an effective human being?

investorsexchange,
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We all lie to ourselves. But I admire people who try to lie to themselves less, who try to be honest with themselves and face reality.

investorsexchange,
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Maybe I worded the question badly. Is happiness an indication that the world is a better place because I’m here? I think so, and I think that’s enough. Do you agree?

investorsexchange,
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The text is great because I heard the song in my head.

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