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dgar, to random
@dgar@aus.social avatar

Some people really have a way with words.

Others not have way.

dgar, to random
@dgar@aus.social avatar

I don’t know.

People on Mastodon, in general, seem…

…smarter.

dgar, to random
@dgar@aus.social avatar

The opposite of irony is wrinkly.

dgar, to random
@dgar@aus.social avatar

Universal adapter.

zombywoof,
@zombywoof@mastodon.org.uk avatar

@dgar That's a 220-240v wall receptacle with 110-115v plug...not a good idea

MennoWolff,
@MennoWolff@ohai.social avatar

@zombywoof @dgar
True, that's a minor issue.
But it's entirely possible that the device on the other end of the plug is universal voltage, so let's give the maker of this photo the benefit of the doubt.
I'm pretty sure they know what they're doing.

dgar, to random
@dgar@aus.social avatar

When talking to a man, add “for a man” to the end of any compliment.

“You’re quite intelligent for a man”
“You’re a great driver for a man”

They like that. It shows respect.

dgar, to random
@dgar@aus.social avatar

To err is human.

To arr is pirate.

TazPoltorak,
@TazPoltorak@fosstodon.org avatar

@dgar To err is human,
to purr is feline.

dgar, to random
@dgar@aus.social avatar
HannaEsmeralda_,
@HannaEsmeralda_@masto.ai avatar

@dgar Reminds me of one of my favorite memes.

Joni,
@Joni@mementomori.social avatar

@HannaEsmeralda_ @dgar

reminds me of one of my favourite memes

dgar, to random
@dgar@aus.social avatar
dgar, to random
@dgar@aus.social avatar

What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.

What do you call a dog with no legs?
Anything you want, he’s not coming.

What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Piiig

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no genitals?
Still no fucking idea.

fkamiah17,
@fkamiah17@toot.wales avatar

@dgar
Is this from your upcoming book "Jokes My Grandad Told Me When I Was Seven"? 😆😘
You forgot:
What do you call a man with a spade in his head?
Doug

ACAElliott,
@ACAElliott@mstdn.social avatar

@fkamiah17 @dgar

First thought: "What does he mean 'Grandad' ? Those are jokes from MY childhood."

Second thought: "Uh-oh!"

dgar, to random
@dgar@aus.social avatar

Just opened #Spotify for the first time in, I don’t know how long, and it presents me with Dgar Radio - and it’s even got a few followers!!

Day is made. 🤗

dgar, to random
@dgar@aus.social avatar

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

andrewfeeney,
@andrewfeeney@phpc.social avatar

@dgar What do you call a flying fox under anaesthesia?

A numbat.

dgar, to random
@dgar@aus.social avatar

Some unforeseen side effects from the renovation…

neon_cat,
@neon_cat@kbin.social avatar

@dgar 'There are no accidents' -Master Oogway

dgar, to random
@dgar@aus.social avatar
dgar, to random
@dgar@aus.social avatar
dgar, to random
@dgar@aus.social avatar

One Two Three Four!
I declare a meme war!
Do NOT neglect your #AltText!!

fkamiah17,
@fkamiah17@toot.wales avatar

@dgar These two are the most recent - I can't choose between them. They aren't really memes but I never play by the rules of any game properly anyway and I'm not starting now and they're funny so shut up. 😂

Screenshot of a tweet showing a picture of the tweeter's mum's Insta conversation. Tweet reads Some freak messaged my mum on insta n she replies with this 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I cant deal with her Insta conversation reads Man: hi sweetheart can we fuck Mum: can't at the moment I'm in Tesco's

timcore,
@timcore@mstdn.social avatar

@dgar

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