thequirkybraincoach, 8 months ago

I've been writing about masking and the impact on your zest this morning.

When we are authentic, what we present to the world mostly matches what we think and feel on the inside.

The pain, effort, challenge and consequences of masking come from when the gulf between who we are inside and how we go about in the public sphere is too wide to cope with.

I would never advise that anyone just "rip off" their metaphorical mask and do it without consideration for a safe, gentle, do-able way to do it.

Many people have told me - and this was also my experience - that once the mask is off, it's off and it's kind of not going back on again!

Therefore, if you desire to unmask, then it's best done gentle and intensely.

It's also important to note that in some places in the world and in some social contexts, it is easier and safer for some people to unmask than others. I acknowledge my own privilege as a white, CIS-gender woman in this respect. That is why I am always sensitive to what is safe and possible within personal contexts when it comes to discussing masking with clients.

In any case, I often find that people who are later-discovered and have masked extensively for years even mask at home, on their own. Sometimes, they don't know who their authentic self is and have lost touch with who they are "at heart".

Therefore, it's usually safe enough to start your unmasking journey by getting to know yourself now you know more about your brain. That's where a lot of my work begins.

If you know your tendencies, preferences, cognitive style, communication needs, and sensory profile, for example, it's a lot easier to have that intentional discussion about if/when you can begin to unmask...perhaps in the privacy of your own home at first.

#ADHD #Autism #AuDHD #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic